Sorry OP, but your post does sound geared toward true reaches (not the "reach" to a school with a 60% acceptance rate). The best thing you can do for your kid to avoid the "bloodbath" is to help him/her find reaches, targets, and TRUE safeties they'd be happy going to. And if you have a high stats kid, they need to put the work in with the safety just as they would with the reach/match. High stat kids are sometimes sidelined in the yeild protection process.

The counter argument to the "unfair lottery" deniers is the fact that there are schools when plenty of highly qualified students with better stats get rejected and the green checks on the scatterplot are lower and to the left. Not all lottery schools are looking for the 4.67 GPA. There are some with an average GPA much lower, but it still ends up lottery. That can "feel" unfair. It's not up to me or you to say whether or not it is.

Anonymous wrote:I think that success looks like your kid realizing that they're not so fragile that they can only learn in a small number of places, and falling in love with a place they can get into.

I think framing the college search the way you are is likely to hurt your kid badly, whether or not they get into a reach.

This 100%

My daughter can’t imagine herself anywhere other than the third tier “safety” school she didn’t have any interest in before she got accepted. But we told her along the way that what matters is finding your people and great professors. We prepared her that getting accepted is tough and what matters is making the best of where you are.

Last year my DD applied test optional to a T15 school. She is a good student, 4 APs (not great scores), 3.7 uw and threw the school on there because I told her she needed a reach. She never even took an SAT or ACT. She got in RD. We were shocked. We hadn't really visited the school, drove around it once so went back last April to really look at it and she loved it. She is there now.

I have another senior right now. Still trying to figure out his reaches but don't think lightening with strike twice.

Anonymous wrote:I think that success looks like your kid realizing that they're not so fragile that they can only learn in a small number of places, and falling in love with a place they can get into.

I think framing the college search the way you are is likely to hurt your kid badly, whether or not they get into a reach.

+1

Our DC went to a LAC which is maligned pretty often on DCUM, and had a fantastic experience which included two excellent internships and a summer of paid research. At 27, DC is making six figures and enjoying a life which includes a very close-knit group of college friends and a likely spouse (met at college).

For us, that's a fairy tale ending.

This isn’t a good strategy (just hoping they will get in to a reach).

You need to be strategic. My DS got into what would have been a reach in RD by applying ED.

It’s not an “unfair lottery.” There are more kids with “top stats” (whatever that means) than there are spots at a few ultra-selective schools. Get over it! There are 3,000 colleges in this country. Your child will get into one. Your child’s entire life does not hinge on the ranking of his or her college:

The sooner you tone down the drama, the better it will be for your child and your family.

Your child should put his or her best foot forward and then let it go and wait for decisions. All of this drama about blood baths, etc is part of what creates this college selection mess.

And yes, I have a senior applying right now. She will be just fine wherever she ends up.

It was mostly a bloodbath for non-athletes and non-African-war refugees, but some of the boring white legacy kids I know did end up getting into their parent’s college. Rejected everywhere else prestigious, though. Parents thought their little geniuses were bound for hyp but the kid had to be content with legacy at Cornell or Haverford.

OP - To the PP I never mentioned how high they were reaching - why do you assume I am talking about reaching for the stars? No need to be unkind. JMU is a good school and a reach for some kids. I'd love to hear about when kids applied for schools they thought were target/reach (doesn't matter if it was JMU or Harvard) and they got in. My kid has heard about friends at all different academic and achievement levels not getting into anything but last choice or even nowhere.. He has curated his list carefully and hopefully likes all his schools. We'd just love to hear- yes- sometimes you are happily surprised.

Anonymous wrote:OMG if one more person tells me what a horrible bloodbath this process is going to be for my senior, for me and my spouse and for my entire family I am going to scream. I feel like whatever happens we will be fine but I'd love someone to say "sometimes it works out just fine."

Can anyone share some success stories- where you kid applied to a reach and actually got in? Or a case where you thought they had no chance at a school and it worked out?

I know, I know it's all an unfair lottery. We are realistic but would just love to hear some positive stories of times it actually worked out. Thanks in advance.

Sometimes "works out just fine" = being accepted at some matches and safeties and finding you really like them. Being overly focused on reaches is what makes the process really stressful.

Anonymous wrote:I think that success looks like your kid realizing that they're not so fragile that they can only learn in a small number of places, and falling in love with a place they can get into.

I think framing the college search the way you are is likely to hurt your kid badly, whether or not they get into a reach.

This
+1
I was actually going to share a success story and then I saw you were only asking about reach schools. My kids both did ED to a target/slight reach? And got on. Done by mid December. Happy kids who love their schools. But that’s not what you wanted to hear.

Anonymous wrote:OMG if one more person tells me what a horrible bloodbath this process is going to be for my senior, for me and my spouse and for my entire family I am going to scream. I feel like whatever happens we will be fine but I'd love someone to say "sometimes it works out just fine."

Can anyone share some success stories- where you kid applied to a reach and actually got in? Or a case where you thought they had no chance at a school and it worked out?

I know, I know it's all an unfair lottery. We are realistic but would just love to hear some positive stories of times it actually worked out. Thanks in advance.

Share some more about your DC and stories that match their situation can be found! Race, planned field of study would be a good start!

I do know of cases where someone got into a reach but I’m not going to say more because that’s the last thing you need. What you need is to stop thinking if not getting into a reach as a bloodbath. Also, highly selective schools are a lottery, but not an unfair one just because some (most!) highly qualified kids don’t get in. (It is, of course, unfair in other ways.)

I think that success looks like your kid realizing that they're not so fragile that they can only learn in a small number of places, and falling in love with a place they can get into.

I think framing the college search the way you are is likely to hurt your kid badly, whether or not they get into a reach.

OMG if one more person tells me what a horrible bloodbath this process is going to be for my senior, for me and my spouse and for my entire family I am going to scream. I feel like whatever happens we will be fine but I'd love someone to say "sometimes it works out just fine."

Can anyone share some success stories- where you kid applied to a reach and actually got in? Or a case where you thought they had no chance at a school and it worked out?

I know, I know it's all an unfair lottery. We are realistic but would just love to hear some positive stories of times it actually worked out. Thanks in advance.