If he can’t swim I would do swim lessons. If you think he would like it maybe do a gymnastics class as well. Start with one session and see if he likes it.

Hmm, I personally do not think one activity a week at that age is too much. We did ballet once a week when DD was 4 and it was one 45 minute class one afternoon a week. She still had lots of free time to play.

We loved dance because it was a physical activity but there's also a music component. She is very interested in learning to play an instrument but we felt 4 was a bit early for lessons. Dance provides exposure to classical music and some education in timing and rhythm, so it's a good way to start a child's music education.

We also liked that it gave our shy 4 yr old another setting to practice socializing in. She is still very shy at school but not at dance class (she's 5 now) -- she's clearly very comfortable and has made several friends there, and we can see how developing skills is giving her self-confidence too. Some kids don't need that but ours really does.

I get the pushback against over scheduling very young kids, but we found one activity a week to be a nice outlet without overburdening her.

For all kids, it is so much better for their mental health to have free time, and it’s better for them in so many other ways, too. Let’s let kids be kids. Just because these activities are available, it doesn’t mean you have to choose them. Like going to a buffet and trying to eat it all.

Anonymous wrote:Op here, thanks for the input! I actually don’t love soccer on the weekends. I wasn’t sure if it was generally better for ds to be doing some activities to see what he enjoys, but helpful to hear that’s it nbd at his age.

I would totally let it go then OP! There is plenty of time to explore things in later years, I think there is just so much available these days that we all feel a little subconscious pressure that that means we SHOULD be doing it (and it feels like everyone is, but I don't think that's really true. See the thread in the elementary section on the 5 year old in dance - we aren't the only ones feeling pressure!). Thanks for posting this though because it actually helped me to finally cancel swim lessons for the winter. I've been feeling like it's too much after school, but of course learning to swim is important so I keep hesitating to cancel. But he can do more swim this summer in an outdoor pool where it is more enjoyable. They are still so little! Have to remind myself that

Nothing. Full time school is enough for 4 years old. Unstructured play, maybe some playdates sometimes, lots of backyard time.

My 4 year old does a virtual language class one day, swim class one day, and a music class one day. Soccer on the weekend. I live somewhere with crap weather, so for us it's best to have these in place in our schedule to get us doing something besides sitting around. But he's only in preschool 3 days a week 9-12, so YMMV.

Op here, thanks for the input! I actually don’t love soccer on the weekends. I wasn’t sure if it was generally better for ds to be doing some activities to see what he enjoys, but helpful to hear that’s it nbd at his age.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son’s program is until 3 but he’s TIRED by then. I try not to even have him stay at the aftercare (just playing on playground) if I can swing it because he’s worn out. He swims on the weekend and does a low key mini soccer thing one day a week at his school. We MIGHT add soccer in during the weekend for the winter just because he loves it so much. But 4 year olds don’t need anything more.

My oldest was super high energy and when she napped at 3 a gymnastics class in the late afternoon was great for her. But without the nap it’s too much.

Yeah I think 4 is a hard age in that they have usually dropped the nap but still kiiind of need it (for a lot of kids), meaning they still get pretty tired and cranky by that time. And personally I am kind of ruthless with keeping our weekends without things we HAVE to get to at a certain time that require wrangling the kids because I feel like I ask that of them each work day. Once a little older I know our weekends will look like that and the kids will have a lot of fun with that as well, but for now I'm holding on to flexibility and family time.

I couldn’t agree more.

Anonymous wrote:My son’s program is until 3 but he’s TIRED by then. I try not to even have him stay at the aftercare (just playing on playground) if I can swing it because he’s worn out. He swims on the weekend and does a low key mini soccer thing one day a week at his school. We MIGHT add soccer in during the weekend for the winter just because he loves it so much. But 4 year olds don’t need anything more.

My oldest was super high energy and when she napped at 3 a gymnastics class in the late afternoon was great for her. But without the nap it’s too much.

Yeah I think 4 is a hard age in that they have usually dropped the nap but still kiiind of need it (for a lot of kids), meaning they still get pretty tired and cranky by that time. And personally I am kind of ruthless with keeping our weekends without things we HAVE to get to at a certain time that require wrangling the kids because I feel like I ask that of them each work day. Once a little older I know our weekends will look like that and the kids will have a lot of fun with that as well, but for now I'm holding on to flexibility and family time.

My son’s program is until 3 but he’s TIRED by then. I try not to even have him stay at the aftercare (just playing on playground) if I can swing it because he’s worn out. He swims on the weekend and does a low key mini soccer thing one day a week at his school. We MIGHT add soccer in during the weekend for the winter just because he loves it so much. But 4 year olds don’t need anything more.

My oldest was super high energy and when she napped at 3 a gymnastics class in the late afternoon was great for her. But without the nap it’s too much.

So are you looking for an activity to break up the weekend (to replace soccer)?

I wouldn't have an activity during the week. PreK until 2pm each day is tiring enough and having downtime and spontaneous play is sufficient (and needed).

Have you considered like an indoor soccer clinic for the winter (assuming your kid likes soccer enough to continue)? There are various soccer companies that offer like a mini kickers program.

Unstructured free time

Anonymous wrote:I feel like an outlier but I personally would recommend not adding many activities after school if he's in preschool til 2p. That's usually enough organized activity for a 4 year old. Swim makes sense but I intentionally don't add a lot more because from what I've read kids really need a lot of downtime, free play, and I am trying to enjoy this time as a family where we don't have a lot of activities we have to be at at a certain time as I know that time will come in a few years.

More time at home and with family is usually a good thing especially at these ages. But I realize I'm an outlier in this area as it's become the norm to do these things earlier and earlier, but most child development professionals don't necessarily recommend it. My 4.5 year old is in preschool 9-3 and we do swim lessons once a week, going to stop for winter and spring and resume in the summer probably.

I agree. Maybe something once a week, but low-key and not highly structured.

I feel like an outlier but I personally would recommend not adding many activities after school if he's in preschool til 2p. That's usually enough organized activity for a 4 year old. Swim makes sense but I intentionally don't add a lot more because from what I've read kids really need a lot of downtime, free play, and I am trying to enjoy this time as a family where we don't have a lot of activities we have to be at at a certain time as I know that time will come in a few years.

More time at home and with family is usually a good thing especially at these ages. But I realize I'm an outlier in this area as it's become the norm to do these things earlier and earlier, but most child development professionals don't necessarily recommend it. My 4.5 year old is in preschool 9-3 and we do swim lessons once a week, going to stop for winter and spring and resume in the summer probably.

My 4yo gets out of preschool at 2:30 and am looking for an activity he might enjoy doing either after school or on weekends. He currently does soccer on weekends but that’s ending with the colder weather. What are/were your kids favorite activities around this age? Seems like mostly girls in his class do ballet and gymnastics. Will probably do swim in the spring.