I'm glad the director said that, OP. The teacher sounds inexperienced. (A lot of the ones at our daycare are, too; they're hiring newbies because the market is tough right now.) She will learn.

Hi everyone, OP here. Thanks so much for your replies. I have talked to the director this morning and she also says it's a phase that will pass. The teacher and the director had very different attitudes about it. We started reading the book again and telling him no biting, it hurts calmly. Hopefully he will grow out of it soon. My older child (he is 7 now) was the one being bitten when in daycare so it is interesting to be on this side to say the least.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi, my 18 month old son has been biting his friends in daycare. He used to bite his older brother at home a few months ago but stopped doing it and has not bitten anyone at home for at least 3 months. We told him 'no biting, it hurts' and read him the book for biting etc. In the last two weeks, we were told twice that he bit another kid. I feel so awful for the kids who get bitten. His teacher made me feel terrible about it saying she needs to 'escalate this to the center director'. She also told me she never had a kid who is biting 'this much'. Any tips?

Most 18 Mo. olds won’t remember a book you read 3 months ago. Talk to him about no biting and read it again. However, major +1000 to the pp^.

You underestimate children and their ability to learn at a young age.

I don’t. But I also know that at 18 months they lack impulse control and they are not good at regulating their emotions. That’s why toddlers and babies hit and bite (i’m thinking of the other thread about the two year old hitting at daycare). At 18 months they also learn by repetition. So my comment about reading a book to them three months ago might not be doing anything today because they need to be reminded and refreshed about no biting.

Most importantly, at daycare/preschool, for a couple of weeks, biters need to be next to the teachers like glue. Either the teacher shadowing the biter, or the biter shadowing the teacher. Holding hands or whatever they need to do to keep the kids by their side. Behaviors and triggers need to be identified and worked with.

My experience comes from working as Preschool and daycare teacher for 15+ years.

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry. It’s so hard as the parent when this is happening and I also felt badly for the other kids! It is very normal for some kids at this age and for most is a passing phase. I would pull out the book again but otherwise the school needs to be shadowing him closely to try to prevent it

+1. I've been here. All you can really do is ride it out, unfortunately, and I say that as a fairly strict parent. Shadowing absolutely is the best strategy (to prevent bites before they happen) but many daycares don't have low enough ratios to do it consistently. Here's what one of my DD's lead teachers did that worked very well (no biting at all when she was in this teacher's class):

- have enough toys out at once during free play time to prevent kids fighting over limited toys.
- keep hands busy during transitions to and from activities - songs with hand movements, games, "instead of walking, let's hop like bunnies!" etc.
- separate particular kids (or watch them with eagle eyes) if it's the same kid they keep biting
- don't give too much attention, even negative, to biter

I have also used rewards/sticker charts but those only work for older kids, 2.5+ or so.
My kid's peak biting age was 18 mos - 2 years and that is fairly typical. At 18 mos, language development does help. I always say use your words instead.
In my experience, books do not help.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, OP! Daycare biting was the most stressful period of parenting I've dealt with, and that includes a surgery on my toddler and solo parenting a newborn during the worst of the pandemic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi, my 18 month old son has been biting his friends in daycare. He used to bite his older brother at home a few months ago but stopped doing it and has not bitten anyone at home for at least 3 months. We told him 'no biting, it hurts' and read him the book for biting etc. In the last two weeks, we were told twice that he bit another kid. I feel so awful for the kids who get bitten. His teacher made me feel terrible about it saying she needs to 'escalate this to the center director'. She also told me she never had a kid who is biting 'this much'. Any tips?

Most 18 Mo. olds won’t remember a book you read 3 months ago. Talk to him about no biting and read it again. However, major +1000 to the pp^.

You underestimate children and their ability to learn at a young age.

I’m so sorry. It’s so hard as the parent when this is happening and I also felt badly for the other kids! It is very normal for some kids at this age and for most is a passing phase. I would pull out the book again but otherwise the school needs to be shadowing him closely to try to prevent it

Ask her if she has escalated it to the center director yet, or if you should be the one to arrange a meeting to go over the video footage of the days he has been biting.

How many times has he succeeded in biting? Sounds like 2 maybe 3 over the past few weeks? Is he also attempting to bite and they are interupting in time? I've had tots attempt to bite upwards of 18 times a day. While exhausting, it is usually a short stage until they are able to cope and communicate better.

Anonymous wrote:Hi, my 18 month old son has been biting his friends in daycare. He used to bite his older brother at home a few months ago but stopped doing it and has not bitten anyone at home for at least 3 months. We told him 'no biting, it hurts' and read him the book for biting etc. In the last two weeks, we were told twice that he bit another kid. I feel so awful for the kids who get bitten. His teacher made me feel terrible about it saying she needs to 'escalate this to the center director'. She also told me she never had a kid who is biting 'this much'. Any tips?

Most 18 Mo. olds won’t remember a book you read 3 months ago. Talk to him about no biting and read it again. However, major +1000 to the pp^.

Ask what measures they are taking to prevent the bites from taking place. What are they observing? What appears to be triggering the bites-example a child taking a toy from him? Is there a common time in the day - tired/hungry? What are they working on with him to replace the action of biting? Are they able to increase supervision in the classroom at challenging times?

Hi, my 18 month old son has been biting his friends in daycare. He used to bite his older brother at home a few months ago but stopped doing it and has not bitten anyone at home for at least 3 months. We told him 'no biting, it hurts' and read him the book for biting etc. In the last two weeks, we were told twice that he bit another kid. I feel so awful for the kids who get bitten. His teacher made me feel terrible about it saying she needs to 'escalate this to the center director'. She also told me she never had a kid who is biting 'this much'. Any tips?