Last year I outlived my father and before that I had passed milestones of outliving both my brothers. Only me and my sister left, she's younger than me. Our mom lived to 90 and I sincerely hope I don't outlive her. It all brings home the stark fact that everyday is a gift, especially at my age now.

Sorry OP.

Enjoy the rest of your days knowing that the one think a loving mother would want for their child is for that child to have more than what the mother had.

Hugs to you. It's hard. Give yourself a break for a few days. Do something you enjoy or spend some time with friends. Focus on doing something for you.

So sorry, OP. I will be hitting that milestone in a few years myself. I am very aware of it as it get closer each year.

So sorry OP.

I went through a similar feeling last year. I was 21 when my mother passed and this year I will have lived more years on this earth without her than with her. I’ve been going through an entirely new stage of grief.

Hugs to you.

I’m so sorry for your loss, OP. She died too young, and would have no doubt wanted you to outlive her, and enjoy every single minute of your time. But it’s totally OK to sit in this grief and feel it and process it—you don’t have to rush along. This too shall pass, but you have to pass through it. Not around it or jumping over it, but through it.

I was listening to Anderson Cooper's new podcast, and Stephen Colbert spoke at length about this.

Very sorry, op. It’s tough. I’ve been there and I’ve now lived 10 years longer than my mom. It hit me once when I was looking at my face and wondered if my mom had wrinkles at my age and then realized she was never my age. Stuff like that. Or never getting to ask her about child- rearing stuff. My father lived a long life but he was an older dad (they were 10 years apart) and I don’t think he paid attention to that stuff and by the time I had kids, he had forgotten whatever he knew. So not a lot of memories to pass on. As the pp said, your mom would be glad you are still here.

I’m sorry, OP. It’s very common to feel that way when your parent dies young.

I'm so sorry, OP. That's hard.

So you were a young adult or teenager — that is a young age for her to die.

My dad had a similar thought earlier this year. He went to the funeral at the same time of death as his dad and spent an afternoon there. Grief is like that and doesn't ever really go away. Hugs OP!

Your mom would be so happy to know you outlived her. Do her proud. my dad died at 54, too. I always make one of his favorite meals on days like these. I'm sure you have your own ways to honor your mom.

I’m sorry, OP, it stinks that she lost her life much too soon. Be good to yourself today.

I ran the numbers. My mother died at 54 and some-odd days. Today I match that number. Tomorrow I outlive her. I’m having a hard time processing that fact.

It’s amazing how raw the grief can still be thirty five years later.