Anonymous
Post 09/20/2022 13:06     Subject: Re:Obsession with perfection
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How does the state of my house affect you in any way.

The state of your house or any one house doesn’t affect anyone. However, the rise in expectations of how people should live, which for some reason is primarily related to what women shoukd be doing, is terrible and it affects all of us. Somehow we are expected to maintain perfect homes, spend hours every day curating our children’s lives to perfection, while holding down meaningful jobs and making sure our families are eating healthy meals…it’s not a realistic goal. And of course some of us can buck those expectations and still feel good about ourselves, but humans are social creatures and it’s really hard to not care what what other people think because we are innately wired and socialized to care. Too many of us don’t succeed the way it seems like everyone else is and end up feeling insecure or lonely or as if they are failures.the worst part is how hard women are on each other; you can see so much of that on this board. It’s sad, really.

Really? I think there is WAAAAY less pressure to have a perfect home/children/homemaking skills than there was say, 50 years ago. When I was a kid (I was born in '71) it seemed like a lot of moms were far more concerned with cleaning and cooking than having outside interests, working, spending time with their children.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2022 12:52     Subject: Re:Obsession with perfection
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How does the state of my house affect you in any way.

The state of your house or any one house doesn’t affect anyone. However, the rise in expectations of how people should live, which for some reason is primarily related to what women shoukd be doing, is terrible and it affects all of us. Somehow we are expected to maintain perfect homes, spend hours every day curating our children’s lives to perfection, while holding down meaningful jobs and making sure our families are eating healthy meals…it’s not a realistic goal. And of course some of us can buck those expectations and still feel good about ourselves, but humans are social creatures and it’s really hard to not care what what other people think because we are innately wired and socialized to care. Too many of us don’t succeed the way it seems like everyone else is and end up feeling insecure or lonely or as if they are failures.the worst part is how hard women are on each other; you can see so much of that on this board. It’s sad, really.


You are projecting a lot of your own stuff onto other people. 98% of the time my house is the spotless, “perfect” home you’re talking about. It’s not because I’m trying to create a showpiece for others, it’s because I have ADHD and cannot function when mess and clutter builds up because it’s too distracting. I have checklists I go through for each room each day to get it back in order so I don’t get too distracted and off task. It’s much easier for me to not lose my keys when I put them down on h e kitchen table instead of putting them back in my purse if the kitchen table isn’t a sea of other crap.

As for the aesthetic of my home, I find that having my house look really polished/finished in the design makes it easier for me to maintain from a mess/clutter standpoint because I don’t want to mess up such a beautiful space. So where you see ego and image obsession, I see a recognition of who I am and what it takes to successfully manage my medical condition. But thanks for the judgment!


Your responding to my comment and I'm not OP. I didn't say anything about ego or image obsession and I don't judge you one way or the other. Sorry you read that in my post; it wasn't intended that way. Also, I was speaking in generalities and not about any one person in particular.





Not pp, or Op but I’m noticing a trend lately and that trend is to apologize. It’s refreshing, and humbling and a great reminder that there are still people who care about hurting or offending others. Now to the topic at hand. 😁
I like a beautiful home because I grew up in an environment that was messy. It was an embarrassment to have people visit. I also can blame social media for the obsessive “keeping up with the Jones's” level of organizing everything in the home that has become so prevalent these days. I am guilty about not caring about my refrigerator or bathroom organization nearly as much until I think someone is going to see it. Then I’m a crazy lady. LOL!
Again, I think social media plays a part in that, I also think my upbringing played more of a part. I don’t want my kids to ever be embarrassed to have people over because our house is filthy or unwelcoming.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2022 12:23     Subject: Obsession with perfection
Clean house clean mind.
My mom kept a spotless house when I was growing up, as did her mom. Now I do. I want my kids to have a clean and clutter free environment that they're proud of.

People have way too much clutter. Its anxiety provoking.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2022 10:34     Subject: Re:Obsession with perfection
OP the best thing you could do is stay off social media.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2022 08:52     Subject: Re:Obsession with perfection
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How does the state of my house affect you in any way.

The state of your house or any one house doesn’t affect anyone. However, the rise in expectations of how people should live, which for some reason is primarily related to what women shoukd be doing, is terrible and it affects all of us. Somehow we are expected to maintain perfect homes, spend hours every day curating our children’s lives to perfection, while holding down meaningful jobs and making sure our families are eating healthy meals…it’s not a realistic goal. And of course some of us can buck those expectations and still feel good about ourselves, but humans are social creatures and it’s really hard to not care what what other people think because we are innately wired and socialized to care. Too many of us don’t succeed the way it seems like everyone else is and end up feeling insecure or lonely or as if they are failures.the worst part is how hard women are on each other; you can see so much of that on this board. It’s sad, really.


You are projecting a lot of your own stuff onto other people. 98% of the time my house is the spotless, “perfect” home you’re talking about. It’s not because I’m trying to create a showpiece for others, it’s because I have ADHD and cannot function when mess and clutter builds up because it’s too distracting. I have checklists I go through for each room each day to get it back in order so I don’t get too distracted and off task. It’s much easier for me to not lose my keys when I put them down on h e kitchen table instead of putting them back in my purse if the kitchen table isn’t a sea of other crap.

As for the aesthetic of my home, I find that having my house look really polished/finished in the design makes it easier for me to maintain from a mess/clutter standpoint because I don’t want to mess up such a beautiful space. So where you see ego and image obsession, I see a recognition of who I am and what it takes to successfully manage my medical condition. But thanks for the judgment!


Your responding to my comment and I'm not OP. I didn't say anything about ego or image obsession and I don't judge you one way or the other. Sorry you read that in my post; it wasn't intended that way. Also, I was speaking in generalities and not about any one person in particular.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2022 08:46     Subject: Obsession with perfection
I'm very proud of my home and try to reduce clutter every day. Now that all the kids are off to college I have a peaceful tidy abode. Not saying I don't like them coming back but they're kinda messy.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2022 08:43     Subject: Re:Obsession with perfection
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How does the state of my house affect you in any way.

The state of your house or any one house doesn’t affect anyone. However, the rise in expectations of how people should live, which for some reason is primarily related to what women shoukd be doing, is terrible and it affects all of us. Somehow we are expected to maintain perfect homes, spend hours every day curating our children’s lives to perfection, while holding down meaningful jobs and making sure our families are eating healthy meals…it’s not a realistic goal. And of course some of us can buck those expectations and still feel good about ourselves, but humans are social creatures and it’s really hard to not care what what other people think because we are innately wired and socialized to care. Too many of us don’t succeed the way it seems like everyone else is and end up feeling insecure or lonely or as if they are failures.the worst part is how hard women are on each other; you can see so much of that on this board. It’s sad, really.


You are projecting a lot of your own stuff onto other people. 98% of the time my house is the spotless, “perfect” home you’re talking about. It’s not because I’m trying to create a showpiece for others, it’s because I have ADHD and cannot function when mess and clutter builds up because it’s too distracting. I have checklists I go through for each room each day to get it back in order so I don’t get too distracted and off task. It’s much easier for me to not lose my keys when I put them down on h e kitchen table instead of putting them back in my purse if the kitchen table isn’t a sea of other crap.

As for the aesthetic of my home, I find that having my house look really polished/finished in the design makes it easier for me to maintain from a mess/clutter standpoint because I don’t want to mess up such a beautiful space. So where you see ego and image obsession, I see a recognition of who I am and what it takes to successfully manage my medical condition. But thanks for the judgment!
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2022 08:38     Subject: Re:Obsession with perfection
Anonymous wrote:How does the state of my house affect you in any way.

The state of your house or any one house doesn’t affect anyone. However, the rise in expectations of how people should live, which for some reason is primarily related to what women shoukd be doing, is terrible and it affects all of us. Somehow we are expected to maintain perfect homes, spend hours every day curating our children’s lives to perfection, while holding down meaningful jobs and making sure our families are eating healthy meals…it’s not a realistic goal. And of course some of us can buck those expectations and still feel good about ourselves, but humans are social creatures and it’s really hard to not care what what other people think because we are innately wired and socialized to care. Too many of us don’t succeed the way it seems like everyone else is and end up feeling insecure or lonely or as if they are failures.the worst part is how hard women are on each other; you can see so much of that on this board. It’s sad, really.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2022 08:11     Subject: Re:Obsession with perfection
Anonymous wrote:How does the state of my house affect you in any way.


+1 Op, do you feel bad with all your crap?
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2022 07:29     Subject: Re:Obsession with perfection
I don’t know one person or family where this is the case.

I walk into most people’s homes and there is crap everywhere. 🤷‍♀️
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2022 07:27     Subject: Re:Obsession with perfection
How does the state of my house affect you in any way.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2022 07:22     Subject: Re:Obsession with perfection
Anonymous wrote:Are you saying I’m doing that because I folded my kid’s pajamas into little packets this week listen it was a long week we all have to chase that dopamine wherever we can okay there’s no reason things can’t be color coded in the pantry leave me alone.

Anonymous
Post 09/20/2022 06:13     Subject: Obsession with perfection
Blame HGTV and instagram
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2022 22:36     Subject: Re:Obsession with perfection
Are you saying I’m doing that because I folded my kid’s pajamas into little packets this week listen it was a long week we all have to chase that dopamine wherever we can okay there’s no reason things can’t be color coded in the pantry leave me alone.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2022 20:47     Subject: Obsession with perfection
Obviously everyone wants a nice and clean home but when did this obsession started to make homes picture perfect, even if on debt and even if its more of a showcase for one parent than a happy place for whole family.