Hugs, OP. It sounds like the social/community aspect of her HS is the one aspect that does work for her—so if you switch her for academic reasons, you would need to be really sure that the new academics (pace, flexibility, accommodation) would be a very good fit for her.
As an alternative, could she take one less class and do it over the summer? My DD did virtual health and tech in the summer, just to get them done. I imagine that MCPS offers some core courses to do over the summers? They are offering online AP courses and it would count as an MCPS class (I realize classes are too challenging for her now, but maybe in 11th or 12th she could do an AP. Perhaps there are other avenues to getting MCPS credits outside the regular school day.
I worry that sending her to private school would be depleting your college savings. Does she have a 504 plan to support her need for flexible solutions ?

OP have you looked at St. Andrews? My DD (10th grade W School) has a good friend who felt too much pressure, social and academic and is thriving there.

"I suspect DD fantasizes about moving schools for a fresh start"

Perhaps investigate further--she's asking to move schools? That takes a lot. No matter what, take her seriously.

Moved our kid to Fusion Academy in 11th grade. Best thing we did.

This is OP. Thanks to everyone who replied. There is clearly a range of opinions, and of course, no one knows all the particulars anyway.

To the person who runs a home school co-op - apologies. I in fact know that homeschoolers are rarely "home." Our neighbor has homecshooled three children and they're all social, active and bright.

To the person who said get her our ASAP, that scares me too. Bullying and social issues aren't a problem. She has lots of friends if she feels like socializing (she doesn't always), plays a sport for the school and is generally involved in the school community. She also has a job and is great at it. It's just the academics that are hard for her, we believe because the anxiety/depression make it hard to focus. She was a very bright elementary schooler and early middle schooler. The pandemic year did her in, but there were signs of strain before that too.

So bullying isn't a concern. We want an environment where she doesn't feel stupid for not being in all honors classes, but there is this nagging fear that going to one and then having to start all over making friends would just change one problem for another.

Regardless, thank you again to everyone.

Get her out ASAP if MCPS 9th and 10th were "pure torture." It won't get better and may get worse. Nothing to mess around with.

Someone commented on home school co-ops. Seriously not a bad idea. The groups are smaller, have kind and committed parents who haven't taught their kids to bully, and you can try it for the rest of this year.

OP this is pretty common. People do this just to up GPAS

It’s perfectly fine ignore the trolls

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:maybe she just needs a break? have you thought about virtual or homeschooling? that public school curriculum or environment is not for everyone. what are her interests? maybe find a program that fits her better?

OP here. Thanks. A break is a nice idea, but the anxiety and depression make it a bad idea for her specifically. Being out and about, and with people, is part of life, whether she likes it or not, and virtual or homeschooling would cause her to lost those muscles. We are not willing to let her slip into isolation, and she knows it's not good for her either.

And no to the GED, somewhat for same reason. While the story of the person who went on to get a PhD is nice, it's rare. She's not old enough to be able to stop and then start again, with stigma against her at that.

In short, not going to school is not an option, but we're open to considering alternatives to a big crowded public high school, although it will be super hard financially. Basically, we'd have to use what we've saved for college. But, if she's not going to get to college if we don't, there may be no point in having those savings in the first place. It's a difficult situation.

Just so you know, homeschooled high school students aren't sitting at home in isolation. I run a co-op for 45 high school students in MoCo. They are BUSY!

I would suggest researching Commonwealth Academy (far from you in Alexandria but excellent for ADHD and anxiety), The McLean School (Potomac) The Lab School (DC) and The Field School (DC) and also posting this on the special needs forum not private schools.

Anonymous wrote:I would not move an already stressed child to private school halfway through HS. Most private schools are tons of work. How would that help her situation?

And ossified friend groups.

I would not move an already stressed child to private school halfway through HS. Most private schools are tons of work. How would that help her situation?

Anonymous wrote:maybe she just needs a break? have you thought about virtual or homeschooling? that public school curriculum or environment is not for everyone. what are her interests? maybe find a program that fits her better?

OP here. Thanks. A break is a nice idea, but the anxiety and depression make it a bad idea for her specifically. Being out and about, and with people, is part of life, whether she likes it or not, and virtual or homeschooling would cause her to lost those muscles. We are not willing to let her slip into isolation, and she knows it's not good for her either.

And no to the GED, somewhat for same reason. While the story of the person who went on to get a PhD is nice, it's rare. She's not old enough to be able to stop and then start again, with stigma against her at that.

In short, not going to school is not an option, but we're open to considering alternatives to a big crowded public high school, although it will be super hard financially. Basically, we'd have to use what we've saved for college. But, if she's not going to get to college if we don't, there may be no point in having those savings in the first place. It's a difficult situation.

I have a friend that took the GED just to get out of high school early.

But she went to college after a year off and eventually earned a doctorate. She is now a professor at a small college.

So maybe suggest getting out early with a GED?

maybe she just needs a break? have you thought about virtual or homeschooling? that public school curriculum or environment is not for everyone. what are her interests? maybe find a program that fits her better?

I am not sure if this is best on the MCPS forum or Private, but I'm going for MCPS in hopes that someone has been in the same situation.

DD is in 10th grade at W school. Has never loved school, but 9th and now 10th seem to be pure torture. Managed to finish 9th with decent GPA, but it took a lot of monitoring to get her through as well as scheduled changes to ease the load (moving to on-level classes for math and science). Anxiety and depression and suspected ADHD (all linked, clearly) lead to problems focusing. Has low self-confidence but is highly capable in terms of life skills.

While school has tried to help, we are considering options if school just can't help her enough, or she just can't do what she needs to benefit from the help they're offering. Has anyone been in this situation and switched the private mid-year 10th or for 11th and 12th? And if so, what were your experiences, whether good or bad? Schools to look at? The one other family we know who has been in this experience went to SAES, but this was probably 10 years ago.

I suspect DD fantasizes about moving schools for a fresh start, but I also wouldn't be surprised if she didn't like the idea if actually being seriously considered - although she "hates" school, she does have some good friends there as well as a sibling.

TIA.