Anonymous wrote:I just can't help but look around the dinner table thinking ... we're not all here yet.

If that makes ANY sense at all.

I understand.

I just can't help but look around the dinner table thinking ... we're not all here yet.

If that makes ANY sense at all.

^ Or rather 61!

Just dropped my last off at college at 52. I’m fit and active but I’m would not be interested in doing this for the first time at 58.

Had mine at 40 and 42, both straightforward births and totally healthy kids.

My neighbor had a child at 46 - her first. So, she's 54 with a 2nd grader and will be 64 when that child is a senior in high school. While they are happy, those numbers would make me think hard about the long-term implications of your deicsion to have a baby at 43.

My friend had her 4th at 45. No issues then. But I have to say that now that the 4th kid is 11 and my friend is 56 (and the rest of the group is mid 40's) she seems in a different place. I think her husband is even a few years older than she is and they just seem a lot older and more tired, energy-wise. They won't have an empty nest until 63 and will be paying for college until 67.

Our second DD was a surprise pregnancy and born when I was 42. We had to do IVF for our older DD and spent years trying for a second with no success, so it was quite the shock to find out I had conceived. I was a nervous wreck through all of the early scans, but DD2 is perfectly healthy. My midwives recommended some additional monitoring by an MFM due to my age, but my pregnancy was uneventful. I scheduled an induction at 39 weeks, just to avoid going longer at an advanced maternal age.
Both of my grandmothers had children in their 40s. Back in the days before reliable birth control, this wasn’t such an odd thing. Of course there is an elevated risk, but only you can judge whether those risks are worth it for your family.

Anonymous wrote:I had a scary second birth. That combined with age and the worry of how my husband would deal with 2 toddlers and a newborn makes me a no. I just couldn’t chance it.

Same. I'd rather enjoy my two kids than risk it.

SIL had one at 42. Easy pregnancy, easy induced delivery, great 2.5 yr old.

I had my third at 43 in May! We did IVF because old eggs. I have teens and I’m remarried to a younger partner. Baby is an absolute delight and most days I don’t feel too old! I say go for it.

I had a surprise pregnancy and miscarriage at 42 that left me pretty despondent. I had a hard time accepting that I'd ended my childbearing years on a "failure" (when I already have children!). But even though I'd love nothing better than a little pink wiggly baby, I realize we're old (my husband is much older than I am), and it wouldn't be fair for my child to grow up with such old parents.

I had a scary second birth. That combined with age and the worry of how my husband would deal with 2 toddlers and a newborn makes me a no. I just couldn’t chance it.

I’m 44 and would love another. I feel I’m too old. My eggs are too old. I’m afraid of genetic defects.

If I was childless, I would absolutely go for it but not if I had 2-3 kids already. Not sure how I would feel if I only had one kid.

I'd love to have a 3rd kid but I'm no spring chicken. If you gave birth at 40+, how did it go?
Thanks in advance.