It's so funny that you hold the MIL completely responsible for the straits they are in but give the FIL a pass. Really sexist of you. Did the MIL hide the bills from the FIL for all these years? Did the FIL spend nothing? It takes two to tango.

Why are you blaming only one person? It’s not as if he didn’t know what wes going on.

Anonymous wrote:They need to claim bankruptcy. Do they own a home? Have they been able to pay their taxes? I wouldn’t bail them out, but they need help managing this debt. Your FIL has had his head in the sand too. Does your DH have any siblings? Time for a financial intervention.

They had to sell the home to help pay off debt. Yes DH has 2 siblings but they wouldn’t be of any help. They’re both dependent on ILs.

$5k a month is more than I make in a month.

Anonymous wrote:How old are the ILs? At most, pay for a consultation with a fee-only financial planner. Maybe they can figure out a way for your ILs to salvage something for retirement.

But I wouldn’t be giving them any money at this point. MIL will take that as a reason to keep on spending as usual, and she’ll bankrupt you, too.

They are in their 60s

They need to claim bankruptcy. Do they own a home? Have they been able to pay their taxes? I wouldn’t bail them out, but they need help managing this debt. Your FIL has had his head in the sand too. Does your DH have any siblings? Time for a financial intervention.

It would be stupid to give them money.

I actually think it was stupid of FIL to pay off her debts. What’s the point? If your husband is in his 30’s the in-laws are probably in their 60’s or older. There’s no new income streams or credit to protect.

The smart move would have been to transfer all assets to their children and declare bankruptcy, but obviously too late now.

MIL needed to be in the uncomfortable position of getting her card declined at a store and having new applications rejected. What your FIL did is called enabling. He’s now asking for your help to enable more bad behavior.

FIL watched all this happening and did not change anything. They both now need to live with the consequences.

How old are the ILs? At most, pay for a consultation with a fee-only financial planner. Maybe they can figure out a way for your ILs to salvage something for retirement.

But I wouldn’t be giving them any money at this point. MIL will take that as a reason to keep on spending as usual, and she’ll bankrupt you, too.

Anonymous wrote:omg I'm made at this sloth MIL. When did her kids go to high school, the 90s? 30 years ago? She should have set her alarm, got up, got dressed, and went to work. I wish I could tell her that for you. Lazy witch

OP here. 2000s. My husband is in his early 30s. Ugh yes I wish I could say something to her too but I feel like it’s not my place.

Anonymous wrote:Omg I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Your MIL sounds awful. Saks eye with a Ross budget. Hell-to-the-N-O you do not give them a penny. And they will likely rack up more debt no matter what you throw into that black money hole. You tell your DH no way.

Hi, OP here. Thank you. Yes we plan to give her no money. I think they can live off of 5k/month. I just feel bad for FIL

omg I'm made at this sloth MIL. When did her kids go to high school, the 90s? 30 years ago? She should have set her alarm, got up, got dressed, and went to work. I wish I could tell her that for you. Lazy witch

I would not be surprised if MIL is the reason FIL lost his job either

Omg I'm sorry you have to deal with this. Your MIL sounds awful. Saks eye with a Ross budget. Hell-to-the-N-O you do not give them a penny. And they will likely rack up more debt no matter what you throw into that black money hole. You tell your DH no way.

Backstory of my MIL:

She met my FIL when he made lots of money and decided to marry him. She stayed home once they got married and had kids a few years after. She has always stayed home. FIL few years later lost his job and had to seek a lower paying job which MIL didn’t like. She still spent the same amount charging credit cards like they were still wealthy.

Now to find out, she has over 500,000 in debt and FIL makes $50k/year. FIL pays the debt off by selling their expensive items and home so they can clear their debt. MIL got anxious about her debts and didn’t want to be in the know.

Today, FIL told her that they will only have 5k/ month in retirement. MIL wants my husband to make up more $ to pay for her lifestyle. My husband and I are on the same page and are shocked to hear about this.

What would you do? MIL still spends the same and never looks at her statements. She expects them to be paid off. Do we stay out of it or help FIL get a backbone?