Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve realized I’m a lot more calm, organized, upbeat when he’s not around…

OP. That’s how I feel. My life is so much better when H is out of town. I eat healthy at every meal (he only does takeout on his dinner nights). I have time for my hobbies, even with all the kid duties. The house is clean because his stuff isnt scattered everywhere. I can go to bed on time, I don’t have to stay up late with him out of a sense of obligation. Work/life balance is better.

I hear you.

Thanks

Even like….I love keeping my closet a beautiful space with everything organized and pictures that I love, so getting ready in the morning is a joy. But then I see his two mountains of laundry and shoes scattered everywhere, and it just kills my whole vibe.

I guess it’s more of a lifestyle thing? I want a joyful life, with a beautiful home and delicious, nourishing foods. And then when I see the clutter everywhere and eat greasy takeout it just brings my whole energy level down.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve realized I’m a lot more calm, organized, upbeat when he’s not around…

OP. That’s how I feel. My life is so much better when H is out of town. I eat healthy at every meal (he only does takeout on his dinner nights). I have time for my hobbies, even with all the kid duties. The house is clean because his stuff isnt scattered everywhere. I can go to bed on time, I don’t have to stay up late with him out of a sense of obligation. Work/life balance is better.

I hear you.

Anonymous wrote:I’ve realized I’m a lot more calm, organized, upbeat when he’s not around…

OP. That’s how I feel. My life is so much better when H is out of town. I eat healthy at every meal (he only does takeout on his dinner nights). I have time for my hobbies, even with all the kid duties. The house is clean because his stuff isnt scattered everywhere. I can go to bed on time, I don’t have to stay up late with him out of a sense of obligation. Work/life balance is better.

Yes. I got divorced.

Anonymous wrote:I've felt that way the past 6 months or so, but it's out of the blue. I don't know what changed, other than maybe I'm older, the kids are older, he's older. I don't know. We took an unplanned break (family emergency) and I don't miss him. We haven't talked in almost 3 weeks.

Same, I have really flipped a switch in the past few months. Wife and I went on a great vacation and it was...meh with her. Still the same low energy, nothing to talk about, no sex and no passion. I can see what empty nest will be like....no thanks. I love her but I don't miss her, at all. Would love to be single. But the kids....

We don't know a lot about the modern marriage and how it impacts happiness. Since the beginning of times, the husbands used to kick the bucket around late 40s/early 50s and they were never around. My H's grandfathers both died in their 60s of hearth disease due to smoking and his grandmothers lived, I might say happily, for 20+ more years. Now the Hs live until their 80s, come home almost every day, and need constant care like toddlers.

I’ve realized I’m a lot more calm, organized, upbeat when he’s not around…

I feel you. My husband is a great person. It’s not him, it’s me. I never should have gotten married.

You came to the right place! Everyone on DCUM thinks that.

I've felt that way the past 6 months or so, but it's out of the blue. I don't know what changed, other than maybe I'm older, the kids are older, he's older. I don't know. We took an unplanned break (family emergency) and I don't miss him. We haven't talked in almost 3 weeks.

Yep, I have really hit the wall at age 47. Wife who has nothing nice to say to me, sex is gone. We parent well together, but there is no romance. I would LOVE to be single again.

Either talk to spouse or exit before pretending you’re not married.

Yep

Every f-ing day.

It’s not that anything is wrong with H. I guess that after being told my entire life marriage was like a movie, I just feel…underwhelmed. Like I gave up freedom for this? I’ve done everything right, therapy, adjusting my expectations, working on myself and my interests…and still, all I want is to move out and start a new life on my own.

I don’t want to spend 40 more years like this.