Anonymous wrote:Yes, they play in every tournament unless there is a major reason they can't (e.g. a medical emergency or, in DD's case last year she missed the Saturday games of a weekend tournament because she had her Bat Mitzvah but we told the coach months in advance). For my kids, tournaments have been the best part of their travel experience because of the camaraderie and team bonding off the field. If these are local tournaments, can you arrange to carpool with other team parents? I can understand why a parent may not want to go to every game.

This. The tournaments are way reason they want to do travel. Why let them sign up for it, if you're going to take away the reasons behind why they want to do it

OP here.

FWIW, I'd have no problem with kids missing a tournament if it conflicted with a family wedding, or granny's 100th birthday celebration, or something significant.

But otherwise, I'm happy to take them. To be clear, kids are younger, so tournaments are all within an hour's drive, no overnights yet. Spouse gets really grouchy about it, even though spouse was on board with kids playing travel (for which said kids begged, and for whom rec coaches said it would be a good fit). Wanting to skip them just because, especially knowing kids will find out and desperately want to play, is causing me some stress.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, they play in every tournament unless there is a major reason they can't (e.g. a medical emergency or, in DD's case last year she missed the Saturday games of a weekend tournament because she had her Bat Mitzvah but we told the coach months in advance). For my kids, tournaments have been the best part of their travel experience because of the camaraderie and team bonding off the field. If these are local tournaments, can you arrange to carpool with other team parents? I can understand why a parent may not want to go to every game.

Agree with this. Tournaments are great for the kids. They are a royal PITA for the parents. Learn to carpool. But your player attends or should play rec.

Yes, they play in every tournament unless there is a major reason they can't (e.g. a medical emergency or, in DD's case last year she missed the Saturday games of a weekend tournament because she had her Bat Mitzvah but we told the coach months in advance). For my kids, tournaments have been the best part of their travel experience because of the camaraderie and team bonding off the field. If these are local tournaments, can you arrange to carpool with other team parents? I can understand why a parent may not want to go to every game.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, they go. If they don't want to play all the games, do rec.

This sounds like one parent doesn't understand what they signed up for. This isn't just "heavy" rec, this is a year-long commitment to a team. You show up unless you are injured or there is a significant conflict (like a religious holiday, etc).

Now is the time to back out if that's not a commitment your family is prepared to make.

Actually, I amend this. You show up even when your child is injured. They just sit on the sideline and cheer.

Yes, they go. If they don't want to play all the games, do rec.

This sounds like one parent doesn't understand what they signed up for. This isn't just "heavy" rec, this is a year-long commitment to a team. You show up unless you are injured or there is a significant conflict (like a religious holiday, etc).

Now is the time to back out if that's not a commitment your family is prepared to make.

Yes, they go to every tournament. If you don't want to go to every tournament, don't join travel, go to Rec league.

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps this is better suited to the relationship forum, but not sure how to navigate this.

Two kids play travel sports. Several local tournaments coming up this fall, and one parent would prefer kids not play, because it's "too much."

Other parent is fine with skipping if there's a conflict, but not sure what to say to kids when they inevitably hear from teammates that they're missing out.

If it's too much why sign up for Travel?

Travel = Commitment, time and money.

Not going to tournaments unless you are injured makes you a terrible teammate unless you're not needed on the roster.

You're letting down the team that has to play short-handed without your kid. It's completely unfair to the other kids on the team, and honestly, the kids who didn't make the team but who would have been there and played.

The parent who doesn’t want the kids to play in the travel tournaments because they think it is “too much” seems to be clueless about how travel sports work. Once you sign up for the travel team, you are committing to play in all the tournaments the club schedules for the team (barring injury, in which case you travel with the team but sit on the bench). The problem with skipping is not that the kid might feel left out or miss something fun, it’s that the family is being irresponsible and not honoring their commitment.

The time to act on a feeling that it’s too much is at the end of the season when it’s fine to have the kid skip tryouts and make plans to move back down to rec for the following year. Also, what does the athlete think about all this?

It depends on the sport and the club. How many tournaments are they in and how big is the roster? DS's soccer team plays a handful a year and everyone goes to all of them. Meanwhile the basketball season is nothing more than a string of tournaments and missing some is expected.

I mean this with no snark, why is your kid on a travel team if the parents don’t even want them to participate in local tournaments?

Coach and teammates are counting on you. This is usually all disclosed upfront when you join the team.

I agree with PP. If it's "too much", you should switch to Rec

This is what rec leagues are for. My DD plays a travel sport and she does not miss except for injury or contagious illness. We plan vacations around the tournament schedule.

Perhaps this is better suited to the relationship forum, but not sure how to navigate this.

Two kids play travel sports. Several local tournaments coming up this fall, and one parent would prefer kids not play, because it's "too much."

Other parent is fine with skipping if there's a conflict, but not sure what to say to kids when they inevitably hear from teammates that they're missing out.