First, ask the school how much homework they think a child this age really needs to do. Research shows that homework in elementary school is of limited benefit.

Then, get a whiteboard or paper and list the things that need to be done, but break them up. For 20 math problems, put #1-5, 6-10, etc., and then ten minutes next to each set. As he completes them, have him cross them off or erase them, and if he beats the time, praise him.

List breaks, also, and how many minutes for them. Don’t let him get on screens for a break, as it is too hard to stop and go back to work.

When he finishes, make note of how much time it actually took, so you have factual data if he starts to get upset the next day and say it will take forever.

Make sure he is not overtired or hungry or thirsty at homework time. Sugar-free, sour candy helps kids concentrate.

After an hour, quit, and send the teacher a note that he didn’t finish, but emphasize what he did accomplish.

Keep as calm as you can, because he will pick up your energy.

If you have limited time on certain days, due to appointments or sports, let the teacher know, and ask what to prioritize if you only have twenty minutes.

Anonymous wrote:His diagnosis is relatively new. Can ABA help with this? Or is there another relatively easy intervention?

He's totally capable of doing all the homework but becomes extremely distressed if he thinks it's too "hard."

He's entering 4th grade.

Maybe talk to his doctor/psychiatrist about medication like Prozac? Small dose might help.

I give my 13 yo a chore list every morning (he earns an allowance). If I made him do it all at once he would melt down. I allow him to look it over and decide how much he will do at any given time and when he will start. Occasionally I have to prompt him to get started or notify him if certain task have to get done soon (unloading the dishwasher so dirty dishes can be put in). He's motivated by the earned reward but I feel it helps him manage his workload, which I hope translates over to other life skills.

The best thing you can do is teach him how to appropriately ask for help instead of freaking out.

See if using a timer might help. Just ten minutes to start, short break, then work up to longer stretches. My DD with inattentive ADHD and anxiety started doing this mainly to help with focus, but it also really helps with the anxiety about getting started.

So you don't have to tackle the whole assignment at once, just work for ten minutes. You might manage five problems or one, a whole paragraph or just the first sentence, but it's doable. And once you've seen that you can manage that, the next ten minutes are less daunting. Ideally, once they get going, they won't need the breaks and can just keep on until they finish. But if not, at least it's a way to keep things rolling.

He needs help with executive functioning.
Chunking, scheduling breaks, dealing with boredom/non preferred tasks.

My son was similar at that age. Reduced work (only evens, etc) helped as well as I just needed to sit next to him and be there to help if needed. He'd get lost in the details. Fast forward to this past year in 6th grade and things were a lot better. He was able to do his homework in his room and calming walk downstairs if he occasionally needed help with math. Good luck!

Getting reduced problem sets helps.

My child was able to do each specific task, but couldn't break down the assignment into its specific tasks and so easily became overwhelmed and upset. Helping her see that the assignment is made up of doable tasks helped. Also remembering that if she could do it without melting down she would: she wasn't enjoying the meltdowns any more than I was.

Does he need to do homework? Like, really need to?

Our teachers were always understanding that we were dealing with a lot, so completing a math worksheet just was not worth it.

My HFA kid is similar. I reacted by completely ignoring it unless it got really extreme.

His diagnosis is relatively new. Can ABA help with this? Or is there another relatively easy intervention?

He's totally capable of doing all the homework but becomes extremely distressed if he thinks it's too "hard."

He's entering 4th grade.