If you don’t pay her 52 weeks a year, so won’t be with you long. This is how nannies work. They get guaranteed hours and paid holidays and sick and vacation. How is she supposed to pay her bills of you decide to travel for two weeks at Christmas and then two in the summer, plus spring break?

Add me to the people urging you to reconsider paying off the books. It’s very clearly illegal for some one working that much. I’d think less of her for asking for that but it’s on you to make sure you are following the law. And yes you pay for someone’s time that they hold available for you. We pay our cleaning lady if for some reason we can’t have her come when planned and always have.

Op if most of the candidates you've interviewed are seeking off the books, that is an indication that you are not offering within market range for pay.

Please do not pay off the books! The IRS doesn't take an informal arrangement into consideration. You are legally the employer and must uphold your tax responsibilties. How do you plan on having a missing ~$50k+ per year?

Do not do no do not pay off the books. This is illegal, wrong and can go sideways so many ways. If you can't afford a nanny on the books you need other arrangements.

OP: Thanks everyone! This all makes total sense to me. I think the confusion about salaried vs. hourly came from what felt like this being a more informal arrangement, stemming from her preference to be off the books. But these comments have me reconsidering that as well - honestly it seemed like such a common request during our nanny search we assumed that was the norm. But if she isn't willing to go above board maybe we shouldn't move forward after all.

Yeah, your DH needs to get over that. I had this same conversation with my DH, who came from a pretty well off family and had never worked for an hourly wage in his life; he just didn't get it. Finally I just said it was no longer a matter for discussion and we were essentially paying a salary and he grumbled but got over it. That said, I did also give a bit as I would have advertised at a higher rate but agreed to lower that.

We have always paid on the books though. It really is so much better for both parties, OP.

Anonymous wrote:Pretty big tax penalties for you for paying off the books.

We pay legal for adult caregivers but one of our caregivers did side work off the books for another client. She deposited the cash somewhere regularly. IRS nabbed her. Then the IRS nabbed the employer.

It is a tough market for employers. Treat her well. Pay her well.

There are a lot of risks with paying off the books. If your nanny injures herself in your home, I assume you won’t be able to file an insurance claim on her (since she’s not being employed legally.). Would suggest you find a cheaper daycare and stay legal with your baby’s care

Anonymous wrote:If you were paying a daycare or private school you would still need to pay when you go away. She still has bills to pay every month. You need to pay her. How is she supporting herself if she isn’t declaring any income? Or does she have another job she does that she pays taxes on?

Tell your husband to do research to find an alternative that will hold a space for your kid without paying (daycare, preschool etc). News flash: they won’t. A daycare will charge you when if you decide to go away for a week. They have fixed expenses even if you aren’t using their services that week. Same goes for a nanny. But if this is the top of your budget, you’re planning to hire her without having her pay taxes (which means you are breaking the law and don’t have a lot of recourse if something goes wrong), maybe you should look into an informal in-home day care that might be more flexible for your budget

Pretty big tax penalties for you for paying off the books.

We pay legal for adult caregivers but one of our caregivers did side work off the books for another client. She deposited the cash somewhere regularly. IRS nabbed her. Then the IRS nabbed the employer.

It is a tough market for employers. Treat her well. Pay her well.

Anonymous wrote:If you were paying a daycare or private school you would still need to pay when you go away. She still has bills to pay every month. You need to pay her. How is she supporting herself if she isn’t declaring any income? Or does she have another job she does that she pays taxes on?

+1. Paid time off is part of a legit nanny position (sick leave and vacation leave). But since you’re already planning to break the law by not paying taxes (which means when you don’t need her any longer she is not eligible for unemployment), I’m not surprised that you’re not willing to offer vacation pay. It’s sad that your husband wants to cheap out on the person taking care of an infant. Everyone deserves paid time off.

If you were paying a daycare or private school you would still need to pay when you go away. She still has bills to pay every month. You need to pay her. How is she supporting herself if she isn’t declaring any income? Or does she have another job she does that she pays taxes on?

Anonymous wrote:It is common to have paid vacation. It’s a competitive market and if you don’t give paid leave, you’ll likely lose her to some other family who is paying market rate with benefits.

+1

It is common to have paid vacation. It’s a competitive market and if you don’t give paid leave, you’ll likely lose her to some other family who is paying market rate with benefits.

After months of searching, we finally found a great nanny candidate for our baby. She wants to be paid off the books and work about 30 hour weeks. My husband thinks this should operate essentially as an hourly job, and while she will receive paid time off and an insurance stipend, he doesn't want to pay for services we aren't using if we go out of town. We don't travel that much, and furthermore paying year-round is just part of hiring a professional IMO. I think he has sticker shock as this is the top of our budget for childcare but I'm not aware of how any other arrangement would work or how to even broach the subject with her.

Any insights from those who have BTDT? How can I convince him paying during vacation sense given the circumstances?