Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they think you do work for them? If they're new to homeownership, they may not realize that you are their neighbor and a board volunteer, not a paid staff member or part of a management company. (I know, I know... but some people really are that stupid.)

Next time they start in, you need to clarify:
"Bert, it sounds like you and Ernie have some very specific ideas about how our neighborhood should be managed. Like you, I'm a resident, not a property manager, so I can only do so much -- my real job keeps me pretty busy. We'd love to have your energy on the board -- why not consider serving a term yourself? Our next meeting is Aug. 15."

"Yeah, I'm pretty busy so I wouldn't be able to volunteer the way you do. But let me tell you about how the grass should be cut..."

"As I said, our next meeting is Aug. 15. If you have ideas, either add them to the agenda that gets circulated on the neighborhood listserv in advance, or show up at the pool house at 7:00. Good to see you, but I gotta run."

My experience:

HOA President: "Bert, thanks for sharing your thoughts. You and Ernie should pay a special assessment of $10,000 because I volunteered to be HOA president and lack the knowledge to adequately bid our new roof to an affordable and quality contractor. Oh, there might be another $10,000 added to next FY's special assessment because our contractor might raise his prices since I mistakenly allowed an unlimited escalation clause for inflation in the original contract. You should trust my poor judgement because I've sacrificed the last few years serving in this role even though I don't want you to hold me accountable for our HOA's bad decisions. If you try to be on the board, I'll counter you with excruciating nuance to stonewall your alternative options so we follow what I want to do, costing you more money."

If you'd do it better, YOU be HOA president.

See bold.

Why don't you have an outside management company to assist the board? Our townhouse community has one, and our fees are still only about $125 per month, and our reserves are high. On the rare occasion I have had a question (maybe once every year), I just email our contact from that management company, and he usually answers promptly. I really never interact with the board.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they think you do work for them? If they're new to homeownership, they may not realize that you are their neighbor and a board volunteer, not a paid staff member or part of a management company. (I know, I know... but some people really are that stupid.)

Next time they start in, you need to clarify:
"Bert, it sounds like you and Ernie have some very specific ideas about how our neighborhood should be managed. Like you, I'm a resident, not a property manager, so I can only do so much -- my real job keeps me pretty busy. We'd love to have your energy on the board -- why not consider serving a term yourself? Our next meeting is Aug. 15."

"Yeah, I'm pretty busy so I wouldn't be able to volunteer the way you do. But let me tell you about how the grass should be cut..."

"As I said, our next meeting is Aug. 15. If you have ideas, either add them to the agenda that gets circulated on the neighborhood listserv in advance, or show up at the pool house at 7:00. Good to see you, but I gotta run."

My experience:

HOA President: "Bert, thanks for sharing your thoughts. You and Ernie should pay a special assessment of $10,000 because I volunteered to be HOA president and lack the knowledge to adequately bid our new roof to an affordable and quality contractor. Oh, there might be another $10,000 added to next FY's special assessment because our contractor might raise his prices since I mistakenly allowed an unlimited escalation clause for inflation in the original contract. You should trust my poor judgement because I've sacrificed the last few years serving in this role even though I don't want you to hold me accountable for our HOA's bad decisions. If you try to be on the board, I'll counter you with excruciating nuance to stonewall your alternative options so we follow what I want to do, costing you more money."

If you'd do it better, YOU be HOA president.

All sounds horrible.

Please, please, please stop believing that you have to have this position.

You don’t and you should not run for re-election. You should read up on the rules of what happens if no one steps up and stop telling people that no one will. You really don’t know. But let’s say they don’t, then there is going to be some state law that covers the situation and you just follow the law.

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they think you do work for them? If they're new to homeownership, they may not realize that you are their neighbor and a board volunteer, not a paid staff member or part of a management company. (I know, I know... but some people really are that stupid.)

Next time they start in, you need to clarify:
"Bert, it sounds like you and Ernie have some very specific ideas about how our neighborhood should be managed. Like you, I'm a resident, not a property manager, so I can only do so much -- my real job keeps me pretty busy. We'd love to have your energy on the board -- why not consider serving a term yourself? Our next meeting is Aug. 15."

"Yeah, I'm pretty busy so I wouldn't be able to volunteer the way you do. But let me tell you about how the grass should be cut..."

"As I said, our next meeting is Aug. 15. If you have ideas, either add them to the agenda that gets circulated on the neighborhood listserv in advance, or show up at the pool house at 7:00. Good to see you, but I gotta run."

My experience:

HOA President: "Bert, thanks for sharing your thoughts. You and Ernie should pay a special assessment of $10,000 because I volunteered to be HOA president and lack the knowledge to adequately bid our new roof to an affordable and quality contractor. Oh, there might be another $10,000 added to next FY's special assessment because our contractor might raise his prices since I mistakenly allowed an unlimited escalation clause for inflation in the original contract. You should trust my poor judgement because I've sacrificed the last few years serving in this role even though I don't want you to hold me accountable for our HOA's bad decisions. If you try to be on the board, I'll counter you with excruciating nuance to stonewall your alternative options so we follow what I want to do, costing you more money."

Maybe they think you do work for them? If they're new to homeownership, they may not realize that you are their neighbor and a board volunteer, not a paid staff member or part of a management company. (I know, I know... but some people really are that stupid.)

Next time they start in, you need to clarify:
"Bert, it sounds like you and Ernie have some very specific ideas about how our neighborhood should be managed. Like you, I'm a resident, not a property manager, so I can only do so much -- my real job keeps me pretty busy. We'd love to have your energy on the board -- why not consider serving a term yourself? Our next meeting is Aug. 15."

"Yeah, I'm pretty busy so I wouldn't be able to volunteer the way you do. But let me tell you about how the grass should be cut..."

"As I said, our next meeting is Aug. 15. If you have ideas, either add them to the agenda that gets circulated on the neighborhood listserv in advance, or show up at the pool house at 7:00. Good to see you, but I gotta run."

Unpopular opinion here. Serving on the HOA and small town elected bodies (which are basically the same thing) are thankless jobs. Those who serve on them can be, but not always, have a weird arrogance where they claim to have some special knowledge and talk down to people.

I doubt you're that person, but be aware this perception exists and can lead people to become very demanding because their investment is not going to decline at the whims of your perceived dismissiveness.

OP-
Yeah, if they’re not speaking up at the board meeting and then coming to you the next day, you might need to have a conversation with them…something like “I noticed that you didn’t say anything at last night’s HOA meeting. And now you are texting me with complaints. I’m wondering if you have a misunderstanding of what the processes are. The meeting is the place to bring up these concerns. While I’m the head of the HOA, it’s not my responsibility to respond to or resolve specific homeowner issues. Hope this helps!”

Then if they continue to reach out with issues, respond back with the “That would something to bring up at the next meeting…”

Good luck! You can do it.

Someone comes to you with an issue, thank them for volunteering to lead up the subcommittee looking into the issue. It is after all a community organization of volunteers and it takes a village. Ask them to create a draft report to present to you, and you will consider offering it at the next meeting. Most won't follow through. If they do, return the draft to them with a ton of follow up questions, and ask for an accounting of what this and that will cost.

Anonymous wrote:Are there other board members or just you? If there are, the next time these neighbors approach you or contact you, you need to write them back or tell them that they need to contact the board email address and provide it to them. I think each member of the board should spend a week being the primary point person covering emails and responding back to members. That’ll help illuminate one person having the burden of always having to respond. Also I just think at the end of the day you the individual should not have to carry all of the bird and just because you are the president. But I think you’re gonna have to be firm with these new people.

This is a good idea but would not work in this case. We have 4 offices but only two filled at the moment (president and treasurer) because of people moving, plus these are the most important two positions. The new people actually got into a big argument with the treasurer about a landscaping issue in the spring and are not on speaking terms (I heard ALL about it from both sides, and am super annoyed with both of them at this point). It's probably not a good idea for the treasurer to interact with them at the moment.

But yes, it would be great to have more people on the board. We have elections in January. I'm worried that the drama from the new people will sour people on volunteering though. I'm already 90% sure the treasurer is going to quit.

Anonymous wrote:You can manage this, OP. You just need to be clear about setting boundaries.

Them: Hey, we’re not happy with how the grass is being cared for. Something needs to be done.
You: That would be something to discuss at the next HOA meeting on Sept 6.
Them: Sure. But this is really annoying. Can you get the guy to cut the grass better?
You: Again, this sounds like something to discuss at the HOA meeting on Sept 6. I’ve got to run now.

Don’t get mad. Just keep repeating where they can park their complaints and exit the conversation. Practice your response and say it every single time whether they email, call or stop you in person. I do this for an annoying colleague at work that just wants to process everything (non-urgent) on the go. I simply refer her to the scheduled meeting. Once I figured that out, my stress level and annoyance dropped dramatically.

I know you are right. I think the mistake I made was in being more willing to answer questions and respond to things when they first moved in because I wanted them to feel welcome. I guess I got lazy about this because I've never had a neighbor who would have take advantage. But you're right, I need to just set clear boundaries.

Ironically, when we had our last meeting, I circulated an agenda and asked if anyone had any other items to add, and they said nothing, and then didn't even speak at the meeting. And literally the next day were texting me about some issue with the trash cans. It's really like they think I'm their personal neighborhood concierge. Some people are so weird.

But I'm going to try your trick, thanks.

Are there other board members or just you? If there are, the next time these neighbors approach you or contact you, you need to write them back or tell them that they need to contact the board email address and provide it to them. I think each member of the board should spend a week being the primary point person covering emails and responding back to members. That’ll help illuminate one person having the burden of always having to respond. Also I just think at the end of the day you the individual should not have to carry all of the bird and just because you are the president. But I think you’re gonna have to be firm with these new people.

You can manage this, OP. You just need to be clear about setting boundaries.

Them: Hey, we’re not happy with how the grass is being cared for. Something needs to be done.
You: That would be something to discuss at the next HOA meeting on Sept 6.
Them: Sure. But this is really annoying. Can you get the guy to cut the grass better?
You: Again, this sounds like something to discuss at the HOA meeting on Sept 6. I’ve got to run now.

Don’t get mad. Just keep repeating where they can park their complaints and exit the conversation. Practice your response and say it every single time whether they email, call or stop you in person. I do this for an annoying colleague at work that just wants to process everything (non-urgent) on the go. I simply refer her to the scheduled meeting. Once I figured that out, my stress level and annoyance dropped dramatically.

I'm the president of my HOA and have been for the last 8 years. I would have given the position up years ago but no one else wants it. It's a pain sometimes dealing with our service vendors but at this point I can figure that stuff out pretty easily. Dealing with people in the neighborhood has been easy though -- I don't know if we've just been lucky with chill owners or if I'm good at people management (maybe a little of both) but we've never had any major issues.

But we have new neighbors who are terrible! At first I thought it was just a combination of being super enthusiastic and a little nervous about first time home ownership. They were at least very friendly at first. But this has soured over the last few months. They are incredibly demanding, complain about everything (trash pick up, landscaping, parking, you name it). They constantly want to add services to the neighborhood and get angry when people resist because (1) we've never needed that in the past, and (2) our HOA fees are pretty low and we like it that way. We pay for all necessary maintenance so the subdivision looks decent and all services are covered, but we don't spring for a lot of extras. People would rather invest that money into their own homes (and mostly do -- the houses here are very well maintained) and it helps with resale to not have a hefty HOA fee.

The biggest things is that when they come to me with these complaints, it's never "Hey, we noticed this issue and thought you might have more information" or "is this something we can raise at the next HOA meeting." They talk to me like I am their building super and need to respond to their concerns immediately. This is an unpaid position! I mostly do it because we, too, want the neighborhood to look and function well to protect our own investment. In the past people have always been nice about the fact that I handle this stuff and even grateful because they recognize if I didn't do it, one of them would. The new folks don't seem to get this.

I'm mostly just posting this here to vent, but I guess also to say: if you move into a new HOA, maybe lay low for 6 months or so and see how things operate, rather than jumping in to order people around right away. And also, be nice to the volunteers who run the HOA and do things like make sure your trash and recycling get picked up and the street gets plowed and gets trees trimmed off the street, etc. It's a kind of thankless job and most of us actually also have day jobs, plus kids. Say please and thank you and try to be polite and not demanding.

I think I'm probably going to give this position up as a result of this. It's not worth it! Let someone else deal with it. Heck, let the new folks do it for a year and see if they like being texted/emailed every day with random complaints about everything under the sun!