Thank you all for the information you've shared. I'm so relieved to hear that there possible options for her. And @retiredref...thank you for the great info on what to look for to help find her the best options for her situation. My hope is that she'll come to love the game again, and your advice will go a long way toward that.

Thanks again, all!

There's no such thing as "tryouts are over". Most clubs doing rolling tryouts and will add a player to a roster all summer. Some clubs hold a spot for this. Email all of your local clubs and ask. The bigger clubs definitely have second and third teams at that age for middle level players.

I would encourage your daughter to play for her HS.

There doesn't seem to be a reason *not* to play for her HS team other than "she used to play on travel w/ some of those girls, and would hate it if she didn't make the varsity team with them." Encourage her to at least tryout for her HS team. If she makes the varsity team - great, problem solved!

If she doesn't make varsity, she can choose between playing JV or a backup option. (But even is she only makes the JV team, what's the life lesson here? She'll have senior year to play on varsity and the point isn't making teams for show, it's being placed on teams that are appropriate for her level.)

FWIW I have a high schooler who plays both for HS and in a house league (Vienna) during the alternate season. The house league isn't up to the same level, but it's good fun and exercise. If your daughter is a JV-level player but doesn't want to play JV for social mean-girl reasons, a house league could be just fine for her.

As others have said, there's also nothing like asking around and seeing if any second or third level travel teams are in need of another player and would be willing to give her a "tryout" at the first couple practices in August. It is a business, after all, and if they have an open spot and she's good enough for the team, I'm sure they could accommodate you as a paying customer.

I hope she finds a team she's happy with - that's really what it's all about for our kids.

At the older teen ages teams are always losing players and looking for replacements. They need to carry very large rosters because there are always players missing with other commitments. Don't be discouraged by the timing, if she really wants to play and has some ability she will be able to add on to a team. The trick will be finding the right team for her. If she fell out of love with the game she wants a team that will rekindle that passion. When GWU did a study on retention in soccer out of 81 factors these are the top six kids said make soccer more fun:



If you can help her find a team where those things are top priorities that's the closest you can get to ensuring she has a great experience and wants to continue to play.

Most coaches will be happy to let her come to an open practice. If she can find a team with some friends already on it that may go a long way to making sure it's a positive experience--girls tended to rank working together with their team even higher than boys in terms of importance. If she doesn't know of any on a team she's willing to check out, start checking all the leagues and find out the teams nearby. If she's not comfortable calling coaches you can help. Once she is able to attend practices, don't just join the first team. That may be the one but go to a few others first to make sure. Watch how the players interact with each other and how they interact with the coach. Do they enjoy being together? Do they support each other and believe in each other? Does it look like an appropriate level for skill/ability? Will she be challenged? Will she be able to earn playing time?

DD played travel for a number of years. A variety of factors--some in her control, some not--caused her to eventually lose her love of the game, and she quit at that point.

A few things have changed in the last year or so, and she's showing some signs of being interested in playing again (including saying she'd consider it when I asked). If she decides she wants to try travel, she's missed tryouts for the year. Her current circumstances (sorry to be vague) mean that she wouldn't even be able to try out or play until the beginning of the school year, after late-summer practices have started. She's headed into her Junior year, so if she really wants to play, not finding a team this year would be really disappointing.

Anyway, here are a few pieces of the puzzle I'm hoping to navigate:

- She's not really interested in playing on her HS team, as she used to play on travel w/ some of those girls, and would hate it if she didn't make the varsity team with them.

- While she played at several different levels, she finished at the top-level team. However, there were extenuating circumstances, and it really wasn't the best fit for her skill level. Some of the issues with her skills are no longer a factor, so she may be a better player now. That said, she hasn't played for a while, and could be comparatively worse.

- Given that, I don't know if travel (on a lower-level team) is even possible. I'm hoping so, but is that even realistic? And by the upper high school age, are do clubs even have lower-level teams?

- I'm at a loss for other options. Rec doesn't seem like it would be "enough" for her, both in terms of excitement/competition and in terms of practice schedule. My sense is there isn't much of a middle ground for older kids between rec and travel, but if anyone knows of anything, I'd love to hear about it.


Thanks in advance for any thoughts you can offer!