OP, I have a newly minted 4 yr old ( who think she’s “almost 5”, no you literally just turned 4 )

Your DC behavior does not seem unusual to me. The ever changing food likes /dislikes are annoying but I understand kids this age tend to be picky. My DC will eat Mac n cheese every single day. The monologues, we have them and I find them amusing, but they are not constantly occurring, just occasional.

I didn’t realize it at the time but my picky eater apparently had anxiety about food. Since he had no other anxieties I just thought he was being picky and didn’t like certain textures. It recently developed into an eating disorder which is complete h*ll. Ironically he will eat most foods now as long as they are “healthy”. It makes me wonder if I had realized and treated the anxiety it wouldn’t have turned into a full blown eating disorder.

Address 1 and 2. Definitely address 2.

3 is personality.

OP - do you feel as if any of these behaviors could be reactions against your child’s gender assigned at birth?

Sounds like my almost four year old. He’s still afraid of the Rumba vacuum! And doesn’t like dogs or spider webs. He’s just a cautious kid but on par physically with kids his age.

The eating is getting better. He’s more willing to try new foods (and we just offer and never coax).

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks all! That's good to know. We are definitely working on the fears and picky eating (especially the picky eating, which makes our life harder -- will be very relieved when that at least eases up, if not goes away altogether) but I wasn't sure if it was within the range of normal or if most kids had outgrown that stuff by 4. DD's best friend will eat anything and walks up to random dogs on the street to pet them with zero fear, and is much quieter. Obviously they have different personalities (though get along extremely well, opposites attract I guess) but since my frame of reference is pretty small, I wasn't sure if that was normal variation or if I needed to worry about these things.

Chiming in here late but your kid sounds very normal. You sound like a good mom asking about these things. I'm from a large extended family with a lot of kids and the kids have quite a bit in common with yours.

OP here. Thanks all! That's good to know. We are definitely working on the fears and picky eating (especially the picky eating, which makes our life harder -- will be very relieved when that at least eases up, if not goes away altogether) but I wasn't sure if it was within the range of normal or if most kids had outgrown that stuff by 4. DD's best friend will eat anything and walks up to random dogs on the street to pet them with zero fear, and is much quieter. Obviously they have different personalities (though get along extremely well, opposites attract I guess) but since my frame of reference is pretty small, I wasn't sure if that was normal variation or if I needed to worry about these things.

That was my DD at 4.

Now at 7 she has "overcome" those things and doesn't have any diagnosises.

I agree - work on 1 and 2. 3 is a good thing, though it can be draining at times.

My guy isn't afraid of anything that I'm aware of. And he'll try all food - and likes most of them.

His big brother was shy around same aged kids when he was four. But would talk all day with teens and adults. He was also a pretty great eater.

Both of my kids were very chatty with parents at age four.

1. A little shy of new pets but warms up quickly and loves them when he knows them. Otherwise no real fears other than shots.
2. Not at all picky. Can always find multiple options at restaurants and will eat most anything. If he rejects it, he's just not in the mood.
3. Happy to chat, but happy to read books or play on his own too. Very easy-going little guy.

Very physical, enjoys doing new things, being with people, etc.

Your guy sounds in the normal range. But I'd work on him with all the fears and the picky eating.

Only #1 seems abnormal depending on how bad it is

My 5 year old still does #3

Sounds pretty much like my 4 yo. I think this is all pretty standard among that age set! I love the monologues, they're so darn cute when she gets going. She's like a little professor. Four is such an adorable age.

Normal.

Asking because we only have one kid (no frame if reference) and I can never tell how honest other parents are being about their kids. Trying to figure out if these are typical for most 4yo are signs of personality or things we need to address.

1. Lots of fears. Dogs, cars, trucks. Not a nervous/anxious kid generally (at home or school) but strongly averse to whole categories of common things
2. Very picky eater and hard to keep up with— acceptable foods change all the time.
3. Extremely talkative. Will monologue nonstop, even to people she just met.

Also very funny, silly, and active. Super curious, and seems to have outgrown the tantrum phase for the most part. But still a handful and can be very challenging. Just wondering if this stuff is typical 4yo behavior or signs of something else.