It’s nice of you to have her for lunch and a little play time but no need to change your plans for the day.

Anonymous wrote:The only rude element of post is the gratuitous comment that your daughter’s swimsuits won’t fit the friend which is both irrelevant (you don’t need further justification for not wanting to bring her) and questionable given how stretchy swimsuits are (my 5 and 11 year old girls often use each other’s as needed)

Oh my word, that’s quite a reach. My daughter is very tall for her age and this girl is actually much smaller than she is. “Gratuitous,” really? Really. My 7yo and 9yo can’t share suits. People come in different sizes, get over it.

The only rude element of post is the gratuitous comment that your daughter’s swimsuits won’t fit the friend which is both irrelevant (you don’t need further justification for not wanting to bring her) and questionable given how stretchy swimsuits are (my 5 and 11 year old girls often use each other’s as needed)

Send her home and text the mom. “We have plans and the kids can’t play right now. Larla is on her way back. Maybe we can plan for another day. Enjoy your Sunday!”

Don’t feed her (unless her family is food insecure).

Anonymous wrote:Why not just tell the mom we're going to the pull in a an hour. If you want her to join us please bring her things over within 30 minutes otherwise I'll drop her off on my way out.

Because our pool passes are expensive and I don’t want to watch an extra kid at the pool by myself all afternoon. -OP

Anonymous wrote:Why not just tell the mom we're going to the pull in a an hour. If you want her to join us please bring her things over within 30 minutes otherwise I'll drop her off on my way out.

She can do that next time, if she wants after she thinks about whether she wants to enter into that kind of relationship with this mom.

Anonymous wrote:Feed the child, since you already asked the mom and then tell her you have to go.
Next time, if you don't want her there for lunch, just tell her she can't stay, because you will be heading out shortly.

I agree with this. Next time I wouldn't ask and I would say "we were planning on heading out in an hour - but we'll be around XXXX."

Why not just tell the mom we're going to the pull in a an hour. If you want her to join us please bring her things over within 30 minutes otherwise I'll drop her off on my way out.

Anonymous wrote:Send her home after an hour. Text mom to let her know she’s on her way.

This isn’t that difficult, OP. You don’t need to waste time building a cross for yourself. Stop judging the mom, send the kid home and go have a nice afternoon at the pool.

You should have texted the mom and been honest "Sorry, we have plans this afternoon and are getting ready to leave. I am sending Ella home."

Send her home after an hour. Text mom to let her know she’s on her way.

Of course not-clearly the other mother is rude. Just tell her that you have plans in an hour so will need to send the child back before then.

Not rude at all. I'd drive the kid home just to make sure a parent is home - mom may have assumed that you're watching her kid and left.

Feed the child, since you already asked the mom and then tell her you have to go.
Next time, if you don't want her there for lunch, just tell her she can't stay, because you will be heading out shortly.

I can see in-the-neighborhood, but we just had a kid who lives quite a bike ride away stop by unannounced, even though her mom has my number. She shows up at noon wanting to play—we were just starting to get lunch together and had plans to go to the pool, and it’s fine but it’s kind of awkward. So I texted her mom to make sure she knows she’s here and says “Yes, she wanted to play” and then I said “Has she had lunch?” And she said no. So I guess I’m feeding and watching your kid this afternoon? I frankly don’t want to use a pool pass on her and my daughter’s suits won’t fit her, so is it rude to send her home after an hour or so of lunch and playing so we can go to the pool as planned?