With this many people I'd strongly consider meeting up at a resort. This is what we've settled into with my extended family as the differences in sleep/wake schedules, general activity levels, food preferences, and parenting styles make piling into the same house not fun or relaxing.

Agree w/ PP, set your parameters and scroll the map outwards. You will probably find Jersey shore properties that meet your criteria
https://www.vrbo.com/search/keywords:finger-lakes-region-new-york-united-states-of-america/filter:10140/filter:24/filter:30/filter:35/@38.55831964373761,-78.03663154043738,43.34261323043033,-70.66480536856238,7z/minNightlyPrice/0/minBedrooms/8?filterByTotalPrice=false&petIncluded=false&ssr=true&adultsCount=8&childrenCount=8

Poconos

I would definitely decline the family invite for this sort of vacation.

Would rather go buy an ice pick to clean my eyelids with.

Ocean Beach/Fire Island

I hope everyone gets along. For this size, i find it better to have 2 separate homes close to each other. The crying babies, teens hangout, seniors, homebodies, adventurous vacationers, those who sleep in, early risers - all these come into play with big groups.

Try Groton Long Point

If you don't want OBX (cheaper), try these: https://capecodluxurywaterfront.com

Rent 2 houses near each other if you can’t find one house big enough.

Not in your preferred location but outer banks specifically Corolla has some huge houses like I haven’t seen in NJ or beaches north. Maybe Long Island would?

These are all great ideas - thank you so much!

Try Long Beach Island, NJ?

I recently did a similar search for a big group, but fewer people than yours. It's hard to find and it is one of the reasons we ended up in OBX again for this summer's trip.

We did just book a place for summer 2023 in the Finger Lakes. You can search by the Finger Lakes region on VRBO and AirBnB. That might not be halfway but it's an option. Or you can just search those two sites for your criteria (number of bedrooms and for us a pool was a requirement) and pan around the map of New England and see what you find.

Maybe you could find some place in the Adirondacks to rent a few houses nearby? I doubt you’ll find a single house that big (but if you do let me know!)

Hi! We are looking to get all our family together next summer -- I'm trying to find a spot between here and Boston as that's halfway for folks. Ideally we'd be able to find something like the big rental houses with pools in NC but these quaint New England towns don't seem to have an equivalent. We are flexible in terms of location but being close to the ocean or a lake would be preferable. Thanks in advance for any suggestions!