Anonymous wrote:OP, you need to treat each other as peers. Equal peers. I assume she is an adult, a financially independent adult.
What behavior would you tolerate from someone you call a friend? Receiving and giving equal respect, you can insist on that.

All of this. And I'm an older sister. What is this 'younger' nonsense? If she's an adult she can say whatever she wants.

Is she 12?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister, yes. Now that we are in our mid 40s I have realized she is a narcissist.
I’m sure that’s not always the case but it is for me.

+1

+1 narcissistic sister who is NEVER wrong and never apologizes. Love her but she drives me nuts.

The all caps “YOUNGER” you are screeching says a lot.

This is why people "move on" from being a part of their family of origin. To you she is the YOUNGER sibling and you should forever know more and mean more. But guess what, she's an adult now. She's your equal. She has a right to her opinion.

OP, you need to treat each other as peers. Equal peers. I assume she is an adult, a financially independent adult.
What behavior would you tolerate from someone you call a friend? Receiving and giving equal respect, you can insist on that.

Anonymous wrote:My sister, yes. Now that we are in our mid 40s I have realized she is a narcissist.
I’m sure that’s not always the case but it is for me.

+1

I’m the middle child. After about 25 years of my mom and my older sister bossing me around and taking up all the air in the room, I decided I was speaking up. They now label me as “bossy” or “a lot” or what have you. Shrug. I speak up and I do what I need to do now, and the fact that I have to overcompensate because they were so used to ruling the roost for so long is something that’s their problem, not mine—that’s what you get for steamrolling me for 25 years.

OK? Why does it matter if she’s younger. Bossy is bossy, and anyone can be bossy. It’s annoying whether you are oldest, youngest, middle, whatever. Do you somehow thing bossiness is justified or OK if it’s the oldest sibling?

Anonymous wrote:Yeah but is she right?

I'm the youngest sibling. I get dismissed all the time. When I'm right (which is frequently) I know my siblings think I'm a know-it-all and condescending... which is really just a matter of perception because their default perception of me is "larla doesn't know what she's doing or talking about.' If I were the oldest sibling, I'd be "experienced" and "mature."

Kind of like confident, innovative women are "bossy" - but if they were men, they'd be thought of as leaders.

This is so true. Oldest children can just make a mild statement and everyone agrees with it and goes along with it. And it doesn’t seem bossy at all, they just accept it. Younger children have to assert their opinion more in order to get anyone to hear them and often they are dismissed.

Haha, I am a younger sister and know my older sister thinks I can be bossy. But I learned very young if I didn't speak up she'd roll all over me so, perhaps you find yourself dealing with the monster of your own creation.

I'm an only child with two children. Young DD is gifted, impatient, bossy and often right. Older DS is patient and gentle. We all get along great because neither DS nor myself are competitive or mind being wrong.

However I've talked to DD repeatedly about how her tone can be perceived and work against her in school and in her future career; that there's a fine line between being clear and firm, and being patronizing and heavy-handed. She's in middle school, and she's getting it, but sometimes at home she can't help herself from acting like a tiny but mighty little tornado of facts and opinions

My sister, yes. Now that we are in our mid 40s I have realized she is a narcissist.
I’m sure that’s not always the case but it is for me.

Yes, that's me. I was considered condescending and a know it all. They even went as far as complain to our parents. So I did the smart thing: I stopped voicing any opinions. I removed myself completely from our chats, I stopped sharing anything about myself and asking about their lives. It felt AMAZING.

Yeah but is she right?

I'm the youngest sibling. I get dismissed all the time. When I'm right (which is frequently) I know my siblings think I'm a know-it-all and condescending... which is really just a matter of perception because their default perception of me is "larla doesn't know what she's doing or talking about.' If I were the oldest sibling, I'd be "experienced" and "mature."

Kind of like confident, innovative women are "bossy" - but if they were men, they'd be thought of as leaders.

Does anyone have a younger sibling who acts like she knows best? Mine is a know-it-all and condescending and it is grating