OP here: the problem with the road trip is that we are also not able to go, my son and I, at least not to the original destination. Also I am not a fan of being an only adult and driver on a road trip.
I was thinking maybe flying out to NYC for example (we will be near Boston). But SIL seems to be somewhat fixated on time together and those road trips. And only particular road trips - she doesn’t really want to do Nantucket or Martha’s Vineyard though I am super curious and have never been. Well at least we get to go to Cape Cod!

I will try to sneak out to Nantucket and/or MV anyway, since we will be on the Cape anyway.
But what else should I try to suggest? NYC in the summer is not the best idea… and there are better things to do closer to Boston. They turned down Acadia already. I am just puzzled as this vacation seems to be taking on a life of its own!

Anonymous wrote:Can you go to the resort early?

They have asked explicitly if I would like to come with them - not a great idea to change my mind now. I am keeping my hotel reservation for one night before my earlier planned departure to the resort though - so Tuesday night at a hotel, then Wednesday and Thursday nights at their house and then we leave for the resort to stay there Fri - Mon. Which leaves one more week after that for day trips.

Why can’t you go on the road trip without them? Invite and it’s up to them if they don’t join you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“We really had our hearts set on a road trip, and want to stick with that plan. We’re considering XYZ. I know that’s not what you guys want to do and I’m so sorry about that.”

passive agressive suggestion

No, passive aggressive would be “we really had our hearts set on a road trip but that’s okay, we’ll stay with you guys and do day trips. Maybe we’ll do a road trip in 5 years when we can get time off again.”

All these are totally shallow and rude suggestions, whether they're PA or not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“We really had our hearts set on a road trip, and want to stick with that plan. We’re considering XYZ. I know that’s not what you guys want to do and I’m so sorry about that.”

passive agressive suggestion

No, passive aggressive would be “we really had our hearts set on a road trip but that’s okay, we’ll stay with you guys and do day trips. Maybe we’ll do a road trip in 5 years when we can get time off again.”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“We really had our hearts set on a road trip, and want to stick with that plan. We’re considering XYZ. I know that’s not what you guys want to do and I’m so sorry about that.”

passive agressive suggestion

It's not passive aggressive. It's direct but empathetic.

Are you suggesting op be aggressive aggressive?

Anonymous wrote:“We really had our hearts set on a road trip, and want to stick with that plan. We’re considering XYZ. I know that’s not what you guys want to do and I’m so sorry about that.”

passive agressive suggestion

“We really had our hearts set on a road trip, and want to stick with that plan. We’re considering XYZ. I know that’s not what you guys want to do and I’m so sorry about that.”

Just suck it up

You don’t want to spend a week in their house. The plan was never to spend the week in their house. You aren’t obligated to stay for the week, even if that’s what they now want to do. Decide where you want to go, make a plan, and tell them they can come or not. But don’t let them force you to spend your vacation at their home when that was never the plan.

Anonymous wrote:So you pick a place you want to end the trip on, make reservations there, and say you booked Marge Simpson State Park for two nights at Hotel Bart, and if they want to join here’s the number. Inform, don’t ask.

This. You still want to go on a road trip as originally planned. So go. If they don’t want to go, they can choose to stay home.

So you pick a place you want to end the trip on, make reservations there, and say you booked Marge Simpson State Park for two nights at Hotel Bart, and if they want to join here’s the number. Inform, don’t ask.

What about the road trip fell through? Can you go without them? Make 2 day trips into an overnight?

Was the resort part supposed to be your time alone?

Can you go to the resort early?

Initially it was: my son and I spend a few days on our own while they work, then we hang out at their house, then we all go on a road trip. I bought cheap tickets way in advance.
Now the road trip fell through, they are spending 3 days with us at a resort, and the rest is supposed to be day trips. It’s way too much time to spend at their house but I don’t know how to shorten it.
I would rather not change the flights, the prices are exorbitant now.
I mentioned going somewhere on our own but they want to join but also want to stick to day trips.
I don’t really want to spend a week in their house.
I need an excuse of some sort!