Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What the heck is young woman drama?

Flakiness. Taking employer feedback very personally. Suddenly ditching work to spend time with boyfriend(s). Staying out late partying. General immaturity.

They are young and chea. What do you expect? Three children is too much for an pair.

It takes several weeks to a couple months for them to arrive, then they could come and be sick (I had one that went home after a month due to stomach issues), be a smoker, have a new boyfriend, want a new boyfriend, have changed their mind about the program, your family or their life calling. They can rematch fairly easily once they’re in the country if they speak English so the risk is real.

We have gotten very lucky with au pairs. We are on our third one now and each have stayed/will stay for the full 2 years. We have three kids (8,5,3) and have had one since the second was a newborn and the oldest 3. I think with the older two in school for that many hours you are probably fine. I would also pay more than the minimum stipend. I’ve found au pairs to be more flexible than nanny, but I’ve also heard horror stories. Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What the heck is young woman drama?

Car accidents and break-ins, driving to bad neighborhoods
Drinking and driving
Missing the last metro
Staying out all night
Boyfriends
Curfews/being exhausted on the clock
Friend drama, friend rematch drama
Cooking/cleaning/using a dishwasher properly
Expecting you to offer things their friends get

+1. Plus missing home: their friends, their mamas, their boyfriends
Losing house and or car keys
The other nanny who was mean to them and now won’t take my kid to that park
College instructor who spoke harshly
Upset because I said “wait” in a harsh tone while driving my kid to the hospital.
Upset I asked her to limit her phone use when outside with the kids.
Late. And late. And late… and never her fault.

+1. People choose au pairs because they’re far cheaper than a regular nanny who is already in the USA and has an established life here. Which is fine, just be prepared that the au pair has to rotate out very quickly so it’s not a caregiver for many years with your family

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What the heck is young woman drama?

Car accidents and break-ins, driving to bad neighborhoods
Drinking and driving
Missing the last metro
Staying out all night
Boyfriends
Curfews/being exhausted on the clock
Friend drama, friend rematch drama
Cooking/cleaning/using a dishwasher properly
Expecting you to offer things their friends get

+1. Plus missing home: their friends, their mamas, their boyfriends
Losing house and or car keys
The other nanny who was mean to them and now won’t take my kid to that park
College instructor who spoke harshly
Upset because I said “wait” in a harsh tone while driving my kid to the hospital.
Upset I asked her to limit her phone use when outside with the kids.
Late. And late. And late… and never her fault.

Anonymous wrote:What the heck is young woman drama?

Car accidents and break-ins, driving to bad neighborhoods
Drinking and driving
Missing the last metro
Staying out all night
Boyfriends
Curfews/being exhausted on the clock
Friend drama, friend rematch drama
Cooking/cleaning/using a dishwasher properly
Expecting you to offer things their friends get

Anonymous wrote:What the heck is young woman drama?

My (ordinarily reliable) colleague had to take off of work for 3 weeks after the au pair she had been waiting for refused to live in her basement apartment because she saw a spider. The woman left after 2 days, and they had to wait for a replacement. (I've been in her basement apartment, it's nicer than most DC above ground apartments).

Anonymous wrote:What the heck is young woman drama?

Flakiness. Taking employer feedback very personally. Suddenly ditching work to spend time with boyfriend(s). Staying out late partying. General immaturity.

We’ve had wonderful au pairs with 3 kids (now 1, 3, and 8). It’s not that hard to find an au pair who can handle it. But we pay quite a bit over the minimum to attract and retain a qualified au pair.

What the heck is young woman drama?

I wouldn’t, OP. We have a wonderful au pair but our kids are in elementary school. A baby is too much considering how often with holidays and sick days she’s going to have the older kids. I’d get another good nanny until your baby is in school.

Do you have the space to house an au pair?
Agree they can come with a lot of young woman drama, and that it might be challenging for one to take care of 3 little kids (and yes, they have restrictions about taking care of infants some time).

There's a reason they're a lot cheaper than nannies.

I think the right Au pair could work, if you could find one that is infant qualified. I assume you’d also want good English, driving, not too young, good experience. It might be hard to match for all this, depending on your family and perks offered.

If you can afford a nanny like you had before, I'd go with a more experienced nanny. Some of my friends have au pairs but a lot of young-woman drama can go along with it. I personally would hate having someone in my house all the time!

Our nanny is leaving us to go back to school so we are reevaluating our childcare options. We have 3 kids, almost 5 (starting K in the fall), 3 and a 4 month old. The two older are in camp daily from 9-3, and will also be in school those hours in the fall. DH works from home and owns his business, so while he works a lot he has some flexibility in his schedule to help out as needed. I am a nurse and have 4 shifts per week, and one of which is usually on a weekend and one night, but it varies week by week.

DH thinks an au pair would be the best choice because of the flexibility and we really don’t need someone more than 40 hours. My only concern is whether a young au pair with more limited experience can really handle 3 kids 5 and under. While they won’t always be with all 3, there will be times when they will. The older 2 fight a lot, and the younger one is very needy right now as a baby. Is it just too much? Are we setting ourselves up for failure?