Anonymous wrote:Were you saying he eats all these things for breakfast, or that those are his breakfast choices. There's a difference between switching between a muffin and oatmeal, and eating a muffin, a donut, oatmeal, an expresso, and some Starbucks concoction every morning.

I was saying he eats all those things for breakfast during the work week. It’s both indulgent and expensive, since he gets his breakfast at work. Also, he’s not fat. I said he was average weight, definitely not overweight. When I tell him that he should eat better he says I’m “fat shaming” him, because he doesn’t want to discuss.

I think at 39 he’s still young enough to change ingrained habits, but he needs to be inspired to.

Ultimately, you cannot control another human being. He has to want to change and it doesn’t sound like he does. I’m sorry. That’s upsetting.

Anonymous wrote:He is a grown man, you aren't going to change his habits. I'm married to someone like who doesn't eat all day then binge eats crap overnight. I keep his triggers out of the house but then he just drives to a convenience store at midnight to buy it. Sure it worries me, but I understand nothing will change unless HE decides to change.

+1

And he might also be eating as a form of rebellion. Your comments could be perceived as controlling rather than concerned, and when people feel controlled they lash out. I think doing something like getting him a book or trying to teach him about sugar is a terrible idea. He likely knows what to do, he just doesn't feel like he can do it.

He is a grown man, you aren't going to change his habits. I'm married to someone like who doesn't eat all day then binge eats crap overnight. I keep his triggers out of the house but then he just drives to a convenience store at midnight to buy it. Sure it worries me, but I understand nothing will change unless HE decides to change.

Were you saying he eats all these things for breakfast, or that those are his breakfast choices. There's a difference between switching between a muffin and oatmeal, and eating a muffin, a donut, oatmeal, an expresso, and some Starbucks concoction every morning.

I wouldn’t give up. Agree it’s sugar addiction. Order some books about how sugar/poor nutrition affects brain and causes inflammation.

WOW. He eats a LOT.

I stopped trying to change the way my DH eats. It doesn't work. Gotta focus on me.

It’s a sugar addiction.

You are right to be concerned. His breakfast and oreos are very worrisome. Can you help him wean from that food? Fruit and nuts for his oatmeal so its healthier? Dark chocolate instead of oreos?

My husband is 39 and is pre-diabetic and his plaque on his heart. He walks a lot and is average weight, but eats horribly. For breakfast, he’ll have a muffin, a donut, oatmeal, an espresso, and a sugary drink from Starbucks. Lunch is two Peanut butter sandwiches and chips. Dinner is whatever I make- usually something healthy-ish, then he rounds things out by eating a pack of Oreos (like what you buy at the store for your family) and some popsicles. He also vapes throughout the day/night.

I have tried unsuccessfully to get him to change his habits as diabetes is no joke. He says I’m fat shaming him when I bring up my concerns about his vaping and diet and that his work is stressful. Anyone else made headway with this type of thing successfully? I know he has to want to change, but I fear he will need a diabetes diagnosis to actually change (he is due for an appointment with the doctor to check his blood sugar, but says he’s too busy to schedule an appointment).

FWIW, I’m thin, run every day, and eat with more moderation. Not perfect and don’t expect him to be.