Some of us didn't start having kids in our 40s. We were nowhere near old when they moved out. So, when they moved out we "downsized" from suburban hell to the city and bought a rowhome with a basement apartment for the same price. The apartment rent pays the mortgage, so it's great. When we're really old I guess we'll sell and get something smaller, but that's a long way off. Aren't thinking about it yet.

We are empty nesters still living in the first home we bought. No plans to move until our kids settle or we start to find stairs a burden.

We purchased our home with a view towards retirement. We can happily live on the first floor. There’s one step to get into the house and it’s on a flat lot. The house is under 2,000 square feet and works perfectly for us now, too. The yard is smaller and we are replacing the major systems so we won’t have to during retirement.

Trying to make plans for this 20-25 years in advance is impossible. You cannot know what your circumstances or desires will be at the time. Some examples:

-We purchased our house from a couple in their 60s whose son moved to another state and they moved to be near the grandkids. Could not have predicted that 30 years earlier.
-My grandparents had to move to a single level house when my grandmother had health problems in her early 60s.
-My neighbor is a single, older lady stayed in her large SFH because her adult kids and grandkids live locally and she throws many parties and says the yardwork keeps her fit.

So, stop having anxiety about whether you will be in your "dream house" in decades and enjoy life. Very typical DCUM.

We're over a dozen years off from that point, but right now we're thinking we'll either sell or rent out the house, and move to a condo with room for the kids to visit.

We've got a DC rowhouse. Most likely is that we'll stay here until we can no longer manage the stairs (we're ~40 so that's hopefully a few decades off), and then we move to a condo in the same neighborhood. Hopefully with multiple decades in the same neighborhood we have cultivated a rich and varied enough social life that we don't want to leave.

It's far away, but likely a 2 bedroom, one-level condo close to the kids. Preferably in a city or walkable semi-urban place.

Anonymous wrote:So we bought our dream home without a lot of the upgrades on the interior. We are 40, and it’s the home we are raising our kids in. After they move out, are you all planning on staying in your home, upgrading to an even larger home, downsizing/move into a smaller space, etc….

What do you plan to do when your kids move out and your old?

Similar boat. We will stay until we retire and then probably will move to somewhere warmer.

probably a 1-level condo at some point. Then a luxury lifeplan community as we age further.

I am not really sure yet. I had planned on buying another house, but with the current excessive prices, that won’t happen. Older DC will be in college in a few short years. So I think what started out as our starter home, is now our forever home. I had also planned to scale back after buying a larger house and get a smaller one when we retire. Now, however, I am thinking that we might just really retire in this house. Why not - it’s a 4 bedroom ranch house, can be made accessible easily as recommended in another thread, it’s close to many amenities, etc. it’s not really a house we’re my 2 DCs can all stay with their respective families one day, all at the same time. But I will be able to offer up 2-3 guest rooms at a time. So I’d be very happy to have them over.

We plan to move to New England.

Spouse wants to retire to an island, where I would be bored and miserable within a month. I want to keep the large house in a destination area where kids, and eventually grandkids, can visit.

And, who knows. It is so far away, that I'd say we plan and g-d laughs.

We will cross the bridge when we get there.

Definitely not upgrading to a larger home. I get that some people do this to accommodate grandchildren and family gatherings, but we do not want to pour so much money into that, plus I know from watching other families that often what happens is the kids and grandkids don't necessarily want to visit grandma and grandpa in their huge house (usually far out because that's where the space is) all the time, and then there is a lot of resentment or coerced family time. No thank you.

We only have one kid so we have a lot of flexibility. We have discussed just doing a 2-bedroom city condo, either in our current city or another one, which would keep us very active and close to people. An extra bedroom for when our kid comes to visit, with or without a partner. If the condo is large enough, maybe even room for a grandkid or two when that's an issue. If we go to a lower COL city than where we live now, this could also be a great way to stretch our retirement money as well, leaving more money for travel (which would also be easier if living in a city with a decent sized airport).

We've also discussed simply waiting until our kid lands somewhere post college and then basing where we live on where they are at. Not necessarily moving to the same place (though maybe if that wouldn't feel to intrusive) but living somewhere that would make visiting back and forth fairly easy and also position us to help some with grandkids if that happens. We didn't have that kind of support from family when we had kids and always felt it would have been nice to at least have the option. I think you have to still respect independent and boundaries (we don't want to be those people who can't let their only child have their own life) but it's nice to be able to genuinely offer to help your adult kids during transition periods, especially into parenting.

So we bought our dream home without a lot of the upgrades on the interior. We are 40, and it’s the home we are raising our kids in. After they move out, are you all planning on staying in your home, upgrading to an even larger home, downsizing/move into a smaller space, etc….

What do you plan to do when your kids move out and your old?