You’re not crazy to feel this way. I’ve traveled a lot with an annual travel budget of at least 75k. Sometimes more.

I loath running into other Americans on trips because at least 75% just want to get into a pissing contest. One trick is to tell them it’s my first trip. Then I’m just an idiot to them, they “win” and they go away. There are a few nice travelers but they are sadly the exception.

As far as I’m concerned, your instincts aren’t wrong. Thanks to social media, travel is now the ultimate form of conspicuous consumption.

DH and I don't brag. We agreed a long time ago it's not a look we want to give out. If people ask before we've gone we say we haven't decided if we're going anywhere yet (for safety reasons), and if we are asked after we've just gotten back then we'll say. But we don't offer it up unprompted.

*It's safer to talk about vacations after you get back rather than before you've gone in terms of home safety and burglaries.

Anonymous wrote:I love to travel. I guess I’m guilty of asking people plans. Everyone we know travels though so I wouldn’t think it is bragging. I consider it small talk.

This is me, I really don't have other hobbies like golf or knitting.

You’re just jealous. Get over it.

OP -- yes, you are not crazy.

I have UMC friends and MC friends. Everyone talks about their vacations, but the UMC friends are much more likely to do the following things when discussing vacations:

- Mention the name of the hotel/resort where they stay and/or list the luxury amenities there
- "Complain" about status markers, like going on and on about how they paid for TSA pre-check but it didn't work correctly, or they upgraded to first but didn't get some random complimentary item they were owed
- Talk a lot about exclusivity: the private beach, the fact that no one gets reservations at this restaurant but they did, how paying for some special status got them access to a less crowded or more elite experience

I am UMC and I think a little of this when people first start traveling or first start making enough to travel at that level is one thing -- it's novel, people are sort of thrilled for themselves, I get it. But eventually it's tactless and weird, and reflects a level of neediness and insecurity, like it's very important to them that you know they flew first class or that they stayed in the nicest resort in Bali, or that normally you can't do helicopter tours of this part of Hawaii but they did. It's obnoxious, even for people who can also afford those vacations. It's boring and competitive.

Meanwhile, my MC friends will be like "we had a great time at Dewey -- our hotel was just a short walk to the beach and we found a great place for burgers that had a killer beer list. If you go, let me know and I'll send you the info." So normal!

UMC people in DC are sometimes really grating.

Anonymous wrote:I’ve noticed that many of my friends and acquaintances make it a point to note where they are going on vacation each spring break and summer. I hear Aruba, Mexico, Turks and Caicos, Hawaii, Europe, etc.

When they ask me where I’m going and I say “oh probably a weekend at the beach,” there’s almost a look of disappointment/judgement.

Are vacations the ultimate status symbol around here? Is it a way to one up people?

We are the poors in our friend group, but vacation plans is a common and fun topic of conversation while sitting at games.

I’m 99% sure they aren’t giving you disappointment or judgment looks. No one really cares it’s small talk.

Anonymous wrote:I love to travel. I guess I’m guilty of asking people plans. Everyone we know travels though so I wouldn’t think it is bragging. I consider it small talk.

This. I actually don’t love to travel, and I’m happy to go to Rehoboth every summer, but I still ask my friends what their travel plans are. We live in a wealthy ish area, and it’s normal for people to travel to the Caribbean for spring break, out west to ski in the winter or back to the Caribbean and then do another big summer trip plus a week at the beach. I’m not jealous, and it’s never occurred to me that they might feel sorry for me. We can easily afford it, but the idea of sitting on a plane to Hawaii with my kids just does not sound fun to me at all.

Are you sure it's not just not a talking point or conversation starter especially when in response to "how' was your trip to XYZ?" or "any summer vacation plans?"

It's human nature to want to share and be excited about a fun/unusual trip. You may interpret it as "bragging" . Others see it as typical summertime conversation.

Perhaps there's a tinge of jealousy?

Hec, people on dcum "brag" all the time on this forum when sharing their travel experiences or recommendations for XYZ.

I love to travel. I guess I’m guilty of asking people plans. Everyone we know travels though so I wouldn’t think it is bragging. I consider it small talk.

We talk about where we're vacationing with friends and neighbors because it's nice to talk about fun plans with friends. I never think anything in particular about where people are going, and I assume they don't think anything about where I'm going either.

IME they just go on more vacations so it comes up naturally. I have never thought someone was bragging or trying to one up me by discussing their trips.

Maybe you notice the UMC destinations more? There are people who brag and people who don’t at every level. For the braggarts, I assume they feel compelled to let people know what they do with their money.

Eh, none of those places are that impressive IMO. It doesn't seem like bragging to me unless you are posting about PJs and really lux accommodations.

I don't post vacation pics anymore because it doesn't feel right. But I do enjoy looking at where my friends go, and if they don't say where it is, I usually wished they had, just out of curiosity. Seeing a beach pic without knowing the location isn't as interesting as seeing it and knowing where it was taken.

You need psychiatric help.

I’ve noticed that many of my friends and acquaintances make it a point to note where they are going on vacation each spring break and summer. I hear Aruba, Mexico, Turks and Caicos, Hawaii, Europe, etc.

When they ask me where I’m going and I say “oh probably a weekend at the beach,” there’s almost a look of disappointment/judgement.

Are vacations the ultimate status symbol around here? Is it a way to one up people?