Is he going through a goth / emo phase or is he actually Trans?

11 is still very little. If it was my son, I'd suggest he wait until he is at least 14, and if the desire is still there, then well go from there.

Anonymous wrote:Prepare him that well meaning people may be confused/unsure and refer to him as a her. Think how public bathrooms will be navigated.

PP. Yes and people that are malicious, ignorant, and decidedly not well meaning may refer to your child as a her out of spite. Yes, even adults to an 11 year old. (That was ASSuming your child identifies as male ; my apologies if this is not relevant.

Anonymous wrote:I would tell my child NO. He can wear dresses when he’s out of my house.

I'm sure your hypothetical child will be getting out of your as soon as possible, so I guess that works, huh?

I don’t think it’s all that unusual in HS. Work with a therapist to help him gain the confidence to wear to deal with rude, ignorant people.

The movie that just came out “senior year” shows boys in skirts.

Perhaps follow some men on Instagram that wear dresses/skirts to help with styling.

I would tell my child NO. He can wear dresses when he’s out of my house.

if he is going to wear them in public then make sure at the very least he is wearing flattering styles for him that are appropriate to the occasion - like no long sleeve velvet in 90 degree weather. And make sure his shoes are appropriate for the dress. it's summer so definitely easier right now. just get him some sandals. Make sure he knows that black goes with everything so if he is in doubt, default to black as the color choice.

This is hard, and I understand your fears. I would tell my child that I will support and defend him no matter what he chooses to wear, but I would insist that he is clear on the psychological and physical dangers that he may face by coming out in public with girl clothes. That even in this progressive area, he will, with 100% certainty, face some hurtful remarks at some point, and he might even one day be beaten up for it.

This is a conversation all boys who wish to dress as girls need to have. He's only 11, so he might not understand this viscerally. He HAS to. Do not sugarcoat this for him.

Anonymous wrote:Prepare him that well meaning people may be confused/unsure and refer to him as a her. Think how public bathrooms will be navigated.

PP here. Good point on the bathrooms. For us, we went together. Family if available and women if not. But it was pre planned and I have a daughter that was typically with us.

Prepare him that well meaning people may be confused/unsure and refer to him as a her. Think how public bathrooms will be navigated.

BTDT. It was easy in the DC area. But I’d be afraid in a small town. That being said, I think you need to be aware of what’s happening around you and exits if you find yourself in a bad place. We’ve done restaurants and concerts.

Work with a therapist.

11

How old is your child?

My kid has always been interested in stereotypical girl things and recently asked if he could get a few dresses. He now has a few, which he is wearing in the house “for now” as he says. If he decides to go out in them, I am thinking we should be supportive but also make sure he is safe. Thoughts on how to navigate it all?