Anonymous wrote:Well I would just ask because you need to give a grad gift if he graduated.

If he sends a graduation invite you send a gift. If he doesn’t send a graduation invite, he probably didn’t graduate. It’s actually easy.

Anonymous wrote:Well I would just ask because you need to give a grad gift if he graduated.

Is this OP?

This is hilarious mental gymnastics.

You sound nosy. I graduated in 5 years and am a normal, successful adult. Who cares? He has the rest of his life to be an adult.

Anonymous wrote:Just have a normal conversation with him! Most normal conversations i have with people I don't see very often involve asking them what they are up to and what is going on with their lives. Then see how he answers. If he does not bring it up, I would not bring it up either.

+1 I can't imagine seeing a college-aged nephew and not asking "how's school?" He'll either tell you he's having a hard time and taking longer to graduate, or he switched majors or is double-majoring or something, or he studied abroad and didn't get all the required credits, or that he quietly graduated early and is building a company in his parents' basement.

If you care about the kid talk to the kid. If you care about embarrassing his mom for being proud of her kid on Facebook in the past, I guess you'll probably find some way to do that.

Updating linkedin is not necessarily a sign that he didn't graduate.

Well I would just ask because you need to give a grad gift if he graduated.

Damn, OP. I'm so grateful no one in my family behaves like you. There could be many reasons why he didn't graduate (if he didn't). None of those reasons are your business. If the family felt they could trust you, you would likely already know what happened.

With the pandemic, I wouldn’t find it abnormal to not graduate within 4 years. I feel bad for college students and other populations. If someone brings it up, your curiosity will be satisfied but you should absolutely not ask directly or do any investigating. He’s still a kid and it’s so obnoxious to have a relative become noisy about your personal or professional life.

My friend is like this and I noticed when she didn't post about her son's graduation from HS. Turns out he transferred to a private and then repeated a grade. She was very secretive about it until son got into an amazing college and then the posting started up again.

I have a hard time believing people when they say they want to know something because they are "concerned". Concerned about what exactly? Graduating a year later than anticipated is hardly the kiss of death. But if that really is the case, ask your brother in law privately.

Just have a normal conversation with him! Most normal conversations i have with people I don't see very often involve asking them what they are up to and what is going on with their lives. Then see how he answers. If he does not bring it up, I would not bring it up either.

You seem very unfamiliar with appropriate socializing.

Go ahead. Let him know you googled him up.

You sound more nosy than concerned. You’ve been snooping, for heaven’s sake. I mean it kindly, but MYOB. You don’t need to know something they don’t want to tell you.

Week-long extended family festivities at beach homes the family owns, plus a rental. Lots of socializing. My brother-in-law's son is the oldest out of the group of cousins including our kids, and he was supposed to graduate from college this spring. His mother tends to overshare on Facebook, so it was noticeable that there was nothing about his graduation ceremony. Curious, I looked him up on LinkedIn and not only is there no graduation listed, zero summer internships are listed either. He attends an excellent university where taking longer than four years is very abnormal. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable but at the same time I am concerned and would like to know what is going on.