I’m from a crazy blended family and was a bridesmaid in all four of my brothers’ weddings.

My youngest brother is 18 years younger than me do I felt like a horse’s ass standing with all young women as the matron of honor. I should have declined that last brother!

How old are you, OP, and how old is the bride?

I didn’t include my SIL. I thought I was doing her a favor. Plus I only had one very close friend stand up for me. We were just overall going for minimal fanfare. But my goodness was my SIL angry about it. With hindsight, I probably should have just included her.

Is there a big age gap between you and her? Would you stand out like a sore thumb against the other bridesmaids and she wants a certain look, as shallow as that is? Such as they are heavily made up and stylish and you are the opposite?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would she include you? You're not her friend. Why can't you stand up for your brother?

Because that’s not how it works. Op are you and your brother close? Can you or your mom say something to him?

Frankly I would be annoyed

OP here. My brother and I are very close. But no, I don’t want my mom or anyone to say anything. Let her have the bridesmaids she wants.

… but yeah, it’s weird.

Anonymous wrote:No bad blood at all - I actually like her a lot and my little brother is finally happy. But she has no siblings and I’m my brother’s only sister. Our oldest brother will be his best man (it’s just the three of us).

I don’t know if I should feel relieved or hurt. I’ve just never heard of a bride not including the grooms only sister in the bridal party.

Yeah it is weird especially since she doesn’t have any sisters.

But rejoice, OP!! You’re off the hook for all the nonsense and can have fun before and during the wedding.

It does happen. It happened to me, although my brother’s wife had a sister and brother who were included. I asked why and it stirred up a lot of negativity in an otherwise very good relationship. So I regret mentioning anything, and I would advise you to keep hurt feelings to yourself in this case. The wedding lasts a short time so ficus on the long term relationship.

Anonymous wrote:Why would she include you? You're not her friend. Why can't you stand up for your brother?

Because that’s not how it works. Op are you and your brother close? Can you or your mom say something to him?

Frankly I would be annoyed

Anonymous wrote:OMG—feel relieved.

+1. Yes!

Perhaps they’ll have you do a reading. That’s what we had my SIL do that day.

Anonymous wrote:Why would she include you? You're not her friend. Why can't you stand up for your brother?

She should include her future SIL because she’s her new family. I also thought it was a given.

Bring a groomsman is a cool idea!

OMG—feel relieved.

Is she young? Like a Gen Z young?

Young people are stupid about stuff like this. Their best and dearest friends at 25 may well be long gone and forgotten by the time they’re 40. But the SIL will be there.

It’s a slight, OP, but try not to take it personally.

Why would she include you? You're not her friend. Why can't you stand up for your brother?

How many attendants are they having?

No bad blood at all - I actually like her a lot and my little brother is finally happy. But she has no siblings and I’m my brother’s only sister. Our oldest brother will be his best man (it’s just the three of us).

I don’t know if I should feel relieved or hurt. I’ve just never heard of a bride not including the grooms only sister in the bridal party.