Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What advice do you have for a kid who just flunked out of a Big 10 school? Spent two years there and came away with very few course credits. Doesn’t show much interest, motivation or ambition, but is bright. Slightly depressed, and very overwhelmed. Possibly ADHD.

Welcome constructive guidance and feedback. Career counseling? Community college? Trade school? Army? At a total loss here. Thanks in advance.

You sound like a caring person - I'm guessing a parent to the kid. But still, I know you want what is best for the person.

Regarding military service, my very small sample of people is that it's a good thing for most individuals. It may help your person find a focus / purpose in their life. One of my friends from HS joined the Army after HS. He was not well-focused on academics in HS. We didn't have a lot of "ADHD" diagnoses in the 80s, but that's probably what it was. He flourished in the Army. He is now retired as a Colonel with a PhD. The Army paid for his college and graduate school. The transformation is amazing from 35 years ago.

For every positive story there is a negative. Let's just say the military truly isn't for everyone. In my very small sample, it was so damaging to a friend whose reason for struggling turned out to be ADHD and other undiagnosed mental illness, that it lead to a suicide attempt. I agree with the other posters that the first step is to get a full neuropsych evaluation.

+1

If your child got into a big 10 school from HS they are likely bright and has academic potential. I might look into taking community college classes at NOVA and reciprocity to the VA state schools. Also second getting a job in an area of interest.

Anonymous wrote:What advice do you have for a kid who just flunked out of a Big 10 school? Spent two years there and came away with very few course credits. Doesn’t show much interest, motivation or ambition, but is bright. Slightly depressed, and very overwhelmed. Possibly ADHD.

Welcome constructive guidance and feedback. Career counseling? Community college? Trade school? Army? At a total loss here. Thanks in advance.

Most kids flame out because of alcohol or drug issues that sidetrack them into partying too much. This is more an immaturity than a substance abuse issue. Make him live at home, go to community college, and get a job. He will hopefully be much more mature in two years and ready to commit to pursuing something more meaningful (more schooling or a career path).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What advice do you have for a kid who just flunked out of a Big 10 school? Spent two years there and came away with very few course credits. Doesn’t show much interest, motivation or ambition, but is bright. Slightly depressed, and very overwhelmed. Possibly ADHD.

Welcome constructive guidance and feedback. Career counseling? Community college? Trade school? Army? At a total loss here. Thanks in advance.

You sound like a caring person - I'm guessing a parent to the kid. But still, I know you want what is best for the person.

Regarding military service, my very small sample of people is that it's a good thing for most individuals. It may help your person find a focus / purpose in their life. One of my friends from HS joined the Army after HS. He was not well-focused on academics in HS. We didn't have a lot of "ADHD" diagnoses in the 80s, but that's probably what it was. He flourished in the Army. He is now retired as a Colonel with a PhD. The Army paid for his college and graduate school. The transformation is amazing from 35 years ago.

For every positive story there is a negative. Let's just say the military truly isn't for everyone. In my very small sample, it was so damaging to a friend whose reason for struggling turned out to be ADHD and other undiagnosed mental illness, that it lead to a suicide attempt. I agree with the other posters that the first step is to get a full neuropsych evaluation.

Community college can be a big confidence booster for a student who struggled in a more competitive environment. Try to find some classes that will re-engage them with their academic ambition, and hopefully you will see some reawakened interest in school. Once they have a renewed sense of purpose, carefully gauge the academic environment they need to be successful and get them connected with a good transfer advisor at their new school.

The military may be a good option, but go in well-informed about what to expect - there is a culture to integrate into, performance expectations, discipline, and other aspects of such careers that can help focus and support some people who need guidance and structure but which can overwhelm people who are unusually fragile, have poor coping skills, and who are fundamentally unsuitable for military environments.

Anonymous wrote:What advice do you have for a kid who just flunked out of a Big 10 school? Spent two years there and came away with very few course credits. Doesn’t show much interest, motivation or ambition, but is bright. Slightly depressed, and very overwhelmed. Possibly ADHD.

Welcome constructive guidance and feedback. Career counseling? Community college? Trade school? Army? At a total loss here. Thanks in advance.

You sound like a caring person - I'm guessing a parent to the kid. But still, I know you want what is best for the person.

Regarding military service, my very small sample of people is that it's a good thing for most individuals. It may help your person find a focus / purpose in their life. One of my friends from HS joined the Army after HS. He was not well-focused on academics in HS. We didn't have a lot of "ADHD" diagnoses in the 80s, but that's probably what it was. He flourished in the Army. He is now retired as a Colonel with a PhD. The Army paid for his college and graduate school. The transformation is amazing from 35 years ago.

Get an evaluation for ADHD, first thing, if you suspect it. From a psychologist, not a pediatrician.

A lot depends on what their history was like prior to college. If there’s ADHD or something else, it should be addressed. If it is just a matter of fit, then a coach or therapist might be able to help.

Anonymous wrote:If you suspect ADHD, OP, you should advise them to get evaluated and treated. Stimulants work well, and can change lives.

My son has severe ADHD, and was diagnosed in elementary school. His productivity is completely different on meds than off meds.

This^^^

As well, kid should restart college (if they want to) at a community college or a much smaller university where there will be more services available. Kids with ADHD/anxiety/exectutive functioning issues most often do better in a smaller environment, where it's easier to not get overwhelmed. Much easier to speak up during class when there are only 25-40 kids in a class vs 600+; same applies to office hours.

Anonymous wrote:The first thing I would do is not make a big deal of it. College didn't work out so I would go about finding a job - any job. Get the book "The Defining Decade." The idea is that you just take the next step and seize and build on opportunities as they arise. The student is lucky unemployment is low so he/ she should be able to find something.

Then, after kiddo is settled in a job, if they have an interest in a career path or in returning to a local college, then you look into it - a year or two or more in the future. In the meantime, he/ she should work at this job and make the most of it.

If kiddo is depressed, a counselor might help. It would at least help sort out emotions about leaving school. But it's entirely possible that not being in college is the right path.

Don't just get any jobs. That is not good advice. Have your attend software coding bootcamp or Cybersecurity bootcamp and they can easily get high paying jobs after that.

My two kids also failed college and dropped out after two years. The first kid learned how to code by himself and he is now working for Google making 290K/yr in Austin Tx. Twenty out of twenty five software developers in his group are college dropouts. The 2nd kid attended cybersecurity bootcamp and passed CISSP and AWS security architect. He is now working for a fortune 500 company making 350k/yr as a white hat hacker. Over half the people in his security group are also college dropouts. I have a Master degree and I am only a GS-13, making less than half of what my kids make. Best of luck to your kid(s).

The first thing I would do is not make a big deal of it. College didn't work out so I would go about finding a job - any job. Get the book "The Defining Decade." The idea is that you just take the next step and seize and build on opportunities as they arise. The student is lucky unemployment is low so he/ she should be able to find something.

Then, after kiddo is settled in a job, if they have an interest in a career path or in returning to a local college, then you look into it - a year or two or more in the future. In the meantime, he/ she should work at this job and make the most of it.

If kiddo is depressed, a counselor might help. It would at least help sort out emotions about leaving school. But it's entirely possible that not being in college is the right path.

Also, fwiw, big public universities can be totally overwhelming places. I know very capable kids who floundered and fell through the cracks. Your kid might do better in a different environment.

ADHD sounds likely, tbh. Or substance abuse? Or a combo? I think you probably need to dig into what went wrong to figure out a plan.

What about just getting a job, any hourly job (every store is hiring right now), and getting some structure that way? Then the kid could add community college classes or local college classes little by little. Some people just do much better with structure than with a lot of free time (aka the traditional college experience).

There are many paths to a successful adult life. I would just focus on rebuilding, work experience, routine, and becoming reliable at work. I wouldn't focus on career planning or anything bigger. Hourly jobs can be good for developing motivation to want something easier/better.

If you suspect ADHD, OP, you should advise them to get evaluated and treated. Stimulants work well, and can change lives.

My son has severe ADHD, and was diagnosed in elementary school. His productivity is completely different on meds than off meds.

What advice do you have for a kid who just flunked out of a Big 10 school? Spent two years there and came away with very few course credits. Doesn’t show much interest, motivation or ambition, but is bright. Slightly depressed, and very overwhelmed. Possibly ADHD.

Welcome constructive guidance and feedback. Career counseling? Community college? Trade school? Army? At a total loss here. Thanks in advance.