Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a tasteless post.

Yeah, I have to agree. Imagine being a parent who's kid is not healthy, or has passed. This subject line it a bit of a slap in the face, albeit unintentionally.

+1. I have a friend with a severely disabled toddler and I always flinch whenever someone says they are so grateful for their perfect healthy baby or something along those lines. I know people saying stuff like that don't have parents of disabled kids in mind, but they are (inadvertently perhaps) using those parents' struggles to make themselves feel better. "Could be worse, I could be you!"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a tasteless post.

Yeah, I have to agree. Imagine being a parent who's kid is not healthy, or has passed. This subject line it a bit of a slap in the face, albeit unintentionally.

+1 self centered and nasty

Anonymous wrote:You go on because you have to. It doesn't mean it's not incredibly difficult. Just never tell someone going through the horrific "I don't know how you do it". They don't have a choice, so through it they must go.

+ 1
My mom has gone a major surgery that has left her disabled and disfigured. People tell me that my mom is brave. I know that we were helpless and there was no other recourse but to endure and keep on enduring. Not brave at all. We would never wish it upon our worst enemies let alone ourselves. Given a choice, we would not want this for ourselves.

Anonymous wrote:This is a tasteless post.

Yeah, I have to agree. Imagine being a parent who's kid is not healthy, or has passed. This subject line it a bit of a slap in the face, albeit unintentionally.

Anonymous wrote:You go on because you have to. It doesn't mean it's not incredibly difficult. Just never tell someone going through the horrific "I don't know how you do it". They don't have a choice, so through it they must go.

+1 totally agree with you op, and please make sure you never say this to someone going through something hard. You would do it simply because you would have no other choice.

Great, another upbeat thread.

This is a tasteless post.

Agreed OP. I have kids similar ages to the kids at the Uvalde elementary school. I have been hugging them extra tight this past week. Every day I have with them is a blessing.

I agree, OP. Our next door neighbor's 4 year old was rushed to the ER yesterday in an ambulance. He has a head injury and we think it's fairly serious since they're keeping him in the hospital for testing for a few days. Just from an accident while playing with their other kids at their house.

So scary. And so random. Horrible things like that can happen at any time.

But I also agree w/ PP that never mention to someone who's going through it anything to the effect of "I don't know how you do it." As PP said, they have no choice but to go through it.

You go on because you have to. It doesn't mean it's not incredibly difficult. Just never tell someone going through the horrific "I don't know how you do it". They don't have a choice, so through it they must go.

I agree with this, and I do feel it, but for me it sometimes goes with anxiety. Like it’s a way for my brain to bypass my defenses against ruminating on potential loss, because if I’m feeling grateful that’s good, right? It is good, but not if I’m using it to ruminate on the horror of the alternative in a way that negatively impacts my overall state of mind.

Agreed. A friend of mine's daughter went into the hospital for surgery over 4 weeks ago, and it didn't go well. She's been in and out of the ICU and it's been touch and go. I cannot fathom what she's going through.

I agree. I don’t know how I could go on if something happened to my daughter.

No matter what my kids do today, I will be grateful too.

I’m so deeply grateful and hug my children to close when I hear of a tragedy especially involving another child their age. I cannot imagine the pure agony those parents and family are going through.

A friend posted a remembrance of her granddaughter on what would have been her 8th birthday. The beautiful little girl was killed at 21 months - the same age as my daughter today. How do people go on?

I will live in the enormous gratitude that my kids are here today.