Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, rereading your post, there is no “easing” once you allow a kid to create an account. They will be confronted with comments, who they allow to see, how many likes and followers, not to mention all the access they will have as an account holder.

(Also, as an older parent who has BTDT, refrain from describing your kid as being on the college or pro track at such a young age. It puts so much pressure on your kid. And, so much can and will happen between now and then. I know a lot of parents out there love to talk about their kids’ successes but I have always found my kids are better served when I keep those sorts of comments to myself.

OP here. Thank you! FWIW, I just wanted to describe his skill level on this post. Friends who have seen him play and his coaches and sports community are the ones who use college/pro track to describe him. So we actually shelter him from most of these comments and community (we don't socialize with his team mates or parents) and keep it as a very separate activity. At the end of the day, we don't need to feed his intensity any further or add to the pressure he already puts on himself and he is not my only kid and needs to stay grounded. As you confirmed, I think it's best that way.

I say this with respect, but even contemplating a sports social media account is the exact opposite of shielding your kid from those sorts of characterizations - it is inviting them in the form of likes and comments. You may want to reconsider how you are approaching all of this if your goal is to protect your kid from intensity. I believe that you want to be a non-intense parent and you are well-intentioned but there is a disconnect between what you say you are trying to do and what you are considering doing (signed a parent who also wants to protect my kid and really grapples with what that looks like too).

OP here. No disrespect taken! Yes, I definitely recognize that inconsistency. The kids have bugged me about learning to make their own videos and "posting" it. And I have seen similar kids who have parent-run profiles and I wondered whether I'm missing something. Hence my post but I agree with you, it's silly to even consider it. I may still let them make videos and it seems like a good skill to learn that will also keep them preoccupied over the summer.

So nice to have civil convos in this board. And fwiw, Non-posted/shared videos are a great idea. Like home movies in the 80s.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, rereading your post, there is no “easing” once you allow a kid to create an account. They will be confronted with comments, who they allow to see, how many likes and followers, not to mention all the access they will have as an account holder.

(Also, as an older parent who has BTDT, refrain from describing your kid as being on the college or pro track at such a young age. It puts so much pressure on your kid. And, so much can and will happen between now and then. I know a lot of parents out there love to talk about their kids’ successes but I have always found my kids are better served when I keep those sorts of comments to myself.

OP here. Thank you! FWIW, I just wanted to describe his skill level on this post. Friends who have seen him play and his coaches and sports community are the ones who use college/pro track to describe him. So we actually shelter him from most of these comments and community (we don't socialize with his team mates or parents) and keep it as a very separate activity. At the end of the day, we don't need to feed his intensity any further or add to the pressure he already puts on himself and he is not my only kid and needs to stay grounded. As you confirmed, I think it's best that way.

Some perspective from the parent of an older kid —- coaches started using this kind of language with my kid early on (“work hard - this is how you’re going to pay for college”, “your competition isn’t the kids who want to play in high school - you’re competing against kids who will do this for a living so think of this as your job”). It was nuts and it totally soured my kid’s sports experience in high school. All he ever wanted to do was play in high school like a normal kid, but he ended up at an insanely competitive, sports oriented high school, and there were tons of expectations and pressure. Plus year round training where we literally couldn’t go on vacation for years because there was always a tournament somewhere.

Just something to think about.

+1000 kid’s coaches didn’t talk about it as a job but talked about recruiting way too young - before puberty. My kid ended up with an overuse injury bc he was so committed to training in middle school (because coach said that is how you get better). I think coach’s offer encouragement as a carrot but there are negative unintended consequences. I don’t blame anyone but myself for not pulling back though, fwiw. So sharing my experience so others can learn from it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, rereading your post, there is no “easing” once you allow a kid to create an account. They will be confronted with comments, who they allow to see, how many likes and followers, not to mention all the access they will have as an account holder.

(Also, as an older parent who has BTDT, refrain from describing your kid as being on the college or pro track at such a young age. It puts so much pressure on your kid. And, so much can and will happen between now and then. I know a lot of parents out there love to talk about their kids’ successes but I have always found my kids are better served when I keep those sorts of comments to myself.

OP here. Thank you! FWIW, I just wanted to describe his skill level on this post. Friends who have seen him play and his coaches and sports community are the ones who use college/pro track to describe him. So we actually shelter him from most of these comments and community (we don't socialize with his team mates or parents) and keep it as a very separate activity. At the end of the day, we don't need to feed his intensity any further or add to the pressure he already puts on himself and he is not my only kid and needs to stay grounded. As you confirmed, I think it's best that way.

I say this with respect, but even contemplating a sports social media account is the exact opposite of shielding your kid from those sorts of characterizations - it is inviting them in the form of likes and comments. You may want to reconsider how you are approaching all of this if your goal is to protect your kid from intensity. I believe that you want to be a non-intense parent and you are well-intentioned but there is a disconnect between what you say you are trying to do and what you are considering doing (signed a parent who also wants to protect my kid and really grapples with what that looks like too).

OP here. No disrespect taken! Yes, I definitely recognize that inconsistency. The kids have bugged me about learning to make their own videos and "posting" it. And I have seen similar kids who have parent-run profiles and I wondered whether I'm missing something. Hence my post but I agree with you, it's silly to even consider it. I may still let them make videos and it seems like a good skill to learn that will also keep them preoccupied over the summer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, rereading your post, there is no “easing” once you allow a kid to create an account. They will be confronted with comments, who they allow to see, how many likes and followers, not to mention all the access they will have as an account holder.

(Also, as an older parent who has BTDT, refrain from describing your kid as being on the college or pro track at such a young age. It puts so much pressure on your kid. And, so much can and will happen between now and then. I know a lot of parents out there love to talk about their kids’ successes but I have always found my kids are better served when I keep those sorts of comments to myself.

OP here. Thank you! FWIW, I just wanted to describe his skill level on this post. Friends who have seen him play and his coaches and sports community are the ones who use college/pro track to describe him. So we actually shelter him from most of these comments and community (we don't socialize with his team mates or parents) and keep it as a very separate activity. At the end of the day, we don't need to feed his intensity any further or add to the pressure he already puts on himself and he is not my only kid and needs to stay grounded. As you confirmed, I think it's best that way.

I say this with respect, but even contemplating a sports social media account is the exact opposite of shielding your kid from those sorts of characterizations - it is inviting them in the form of likes and comments. You may want to reconsider how you are approaching all of this if your goal is to protect your kid from intensity. I believe that you want to be a non-intense parent and you are well-intentioned but there is a disconnect between what you say you are trying to do and what you are considering doing (signed a parent who also wants to protect my kid and really grapples with what that looks like too).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, rereading your post, there is no “easing” once you allow a kid to create an account. They will be confronted with comments, who they allow to see, how many likes and followers, not to mention all the access they will have as an account holder.

(Also, as an older parent who has BTDT, refrain from describing your kid as being on the college or pro track at such a young age. It puts so much pressure on your kid. And, so much can and will happen between now and then. I know a lot of parents out there love to talk about their kids’ successes but I have always found my kids are better served when I keep those sorts of comments to myself.

OP here. Thank you! FWIW, I just wanted to describe his skill level on this post. Friends who have seen him play and his coaches and sports community are the ones who use college/pro track to describe him. So we actually shelter him from most of these comments and community (we don't socialize with his team mates or parents) and keep it as a very separate activity. At the end of the day, we don't need to feed his intensity any further or add to the pressure he already puts on himself and he is not my only kid and needs to stay grounded. As you confirmed, I think it's best that way.

Some perspective from the parent of an older kid —- coaches started using this kind of language with my kid early on (“work hard - this is how you’re going to pay for college”, “your competition isn’t the kids who want to play in high school - you’re competing against kids who will do this for a living so think of this as your job”). It was nuts and it totally soured my kid’s sports experience in high school. All he ever wanted to do was play in high school like a normal kid, but he ended up at an insanely competitive, sports oriented high school, and there were tons of expectations and pressure. Plus year round training where we literally couldn’t go on vacation for years because there was always a tournament somewhere.

Just something to think about.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, rereading your post, there is no “easing” once you allow a kid to create an account. They will be confronted with comments, who they allow to see, how many likes and followers, not to mention all the access they will have as an account holder.

(Also, as an older parent who has BTDT, refrain from describing your kid as being on the college or pro track at such a young age. It puts so much pressure on your kid. And, so much can and will happen between now and then. I know a lot of parents out there love to talk about their kids’ successes but I have always found my kids are better served when I keep those sorts of comments to myself.

OP here. Thank you! FWIW, I just wanted to describe his skill level on this post. Friends who have seen him play and his coaches and sports community are the ones who use college/pro track to describe him. So we actually shelter him from most of these comments and community (we don't socialize with his team mates or parents) and keep it as a very separate activity. At the end of the day, we don't need to feed his intensity any further or add to the pressure he already puts on himself and he is not my only kid and needs to stay grounded. As you confirmed, I think it's best that way.

OP, fwiw, it sounds like we might be in a similar boat. I also have a kid who's super driven about a particular sport (others say talented, but whatever), so I have started seeing some of this online. I get why they happen with HS athletes, but some of the stuff I've seen for elementary kids horrifies me....

Many of the training centers for soccer, baseball, etc. are tagging kids Instagram profiles on their feeds. I saw this one kid tagged who is U9 baseball! Bonkers, his parents had his profile set up as if he’s already a pro.

Anonymous wrote:Also, rereading your post, there is no “easing” once you allow a kid to create an account. They will be confronted with comments, who they allow to see, how many likes and followers, not to mention all the access they will have as an account holder.

(Also, as an older parent who has BTDT, refrain from describing your kid as being on the college or pro track at such a young age. It puts so much pressure on your kid. And, so much can and will happen between now and then. I know a lot of parents out there love to talk about their kids’ successes but I have always found my kids are better served when I keep those sorts of comments to myself.

OP here. Thank you! FWIW, I just wanted to describe his skill level on this post. Friends who have seen him play and his coaches and sports community are the ones who use college/pro track to describe him. So we actually shelter him from most of these comments and community (we don't socialize with his team mates or parents) and keep it as a very separate activity. At the end of the day, we don't need to feed his intensity any further or add to the pressure he already puts on himself and he is not my only kid and needs to stay grounded. As you confirmed, I think it's best that way.

This is OP. Thanks everyone. I think you've all confirmed my anxieties. Any social media account would have been managed by a parent but in any event, no individual social presence for them, parent monitored or not.

Anonymous wrote:I don't think this is the answer you're looking for, but we have one for our elementary school age child who is good at a particular sport, but it is private and he only has family, a few close friends and coaches that follow him. We did it mostly so we didn't annoy our broader friend group with postings.

+1 We have a a private account for our kids. It's primarily sports, but some school stuff too. It's for the grand parents who want to see everything they do without us having to constantly put up posts that everyone else we know would be annoyed by.

Also, rereading your post, there is no “easing” once you allow a kid to create an account. They will be confronted with comments, who they allow to see, how many likes and followers, not to mention all the access they will have as an account holder.

(Also, as an older parent who has BTDT, refrain from describing your kid as being on the college or pro track at such a young age. It puts so much pressure on your kid. And, so much can and will happen between now and then. I know a lot of parents out there love to talk about their kids’ successes but I have always found my kids are better served when I keep those sorts of comments to myself.

My kids weren’t allowed social media until 13/14 (depending on platform), so I don’t see a need. The sport Instagram accounts and other online recruiting profiles should be used in high school only. Club teams will provide guidance on how to do this. NCAA can’t talk with kids until high school.

You are inviting trouble with a middle school sports account, imo. You are inviting outsiders to judge your kid, not to mention beginning your child’s experience of viewing the world through lens of how they present on a platform. Kids should be playing not deciding what to post on insta. Not to mention, a sports account feels like strange, outsized emphasis on athletic success tied to self-worth and identity.

TBH the only kids I've seen these for are being pushed by parents and aren't really athletic stand outs. I feel like if your kid is going to get noticed, they'll get noticed. Maybe then they'll be coached to make a page but just to make one on your own because seems...desperate?

I don't think this is the answer you're looking for, but we have one for our elementary school age child who is good at a particular sport, but it is private and he only has family, a few close friends and coaches that follow him. We did it mostly so we didn't annoy our broader friend group with postings.

If you have a social media presence for your athlete child, can you share why you have one and if it has benefited you, how? I know a lot of the older kids who want to play sports in college have one to help with putting themselves out there. But for those who have them for their younger kids (elementary and middle school for example), is it worth it starting that early? What would be the point, if any?

I'm not opposed to them and we do regularly post our kids' athletic endeavors on our private social media but that's just for our friends and family. I think it would be fun for my kids to create their own sports-related videos and post them (they have been nagging me about this) but I'm also anxious about exposing them. FWIW, one of my kids is the type of kid who I see have social media presence (athletic, talented, intense and driven, likely on college/pro track). We have strict limits on my kids' exposure to the Internet and the only social media they see is the stuff we show them. They will also not have cellphones until high school at the earliest so I think this is perhaps a way to ease them into the world of social media and perhaps be a teaching process? Thoughts? Suggestions?