Once I left my 2-yr-old nephew taking a nap in my guest room while I ran to 7-11 with my kids. I had recently started watching him and forgot he was there. His dad, my BIL, came to pick him up while I was gone. I got home and my nephew had disappeared.

I freaked out at my stupid mistake, called my sister at work and she told me what happened. Her H was pretty livid, rightly so. She was more forgiving.

I continued taking care of him and other kids too and never made a mistake like that again. I'm very very thankful they didn't freak out more and come down hard on me. It was a one off.

I'm also very thankful nothing horrible happened to him while I was gone and also that he didn't even just wake up and wander around crying.

Anonymous wrote:No it’s not divorce worthy, yes you are overreacting. And do something about your rage. Normal to be upset but everyone makes mistakes, no harm came to them and your reaction is serious red flags. Seek help.

I am being very serious.

This. You are overreacting and your rage/ anxiety is not appropriate. Assuming this has never happened before, it was a mistake and he has learned. You need to get some therapy, OP.

Anonymous wrote:No it’s not divorce worthy, yes you are overreacting. And do something about your rage. Normal to be upset but everyone makes mistakes, no harm came to them and your reaction is serious red flags. Seek help.

I am being very serious.

+1 if this happened to you would you want him reacting this way? Show some empathy for a mistake, be thankful no harm was done, learn from it, move on. Don’t hold this against him.

Do you and your husband not normally communicate at all? Wouldn’t you have said goodbye when you left to go pick up the preschooler? And wouldn’t he when he left to go wherever? I don’t see how this happened at all. Your marriage is bizarre.

Anonymous wrote:IMO, you're overreacting. The kids were not harmed. He made a mistake thinking you were in the house. If it happens again, then I would get upset.

Plus 1

Not enough information. It does point to a pretty bad situation with the two of you, however. If he thought you were home, wouldn't he say, hey, I'm heading out? If not at least to be nice and thoughtful, more so to make sure you knew so that the twins weren't roaming around alone. Do you often go into your room with your toddler with the door closed? The whole thing is strange.

Do you think he's lying about believing you were home or do you think he actually thought you were there?

Not overreacting, but take it as a lesson to always confirm handoff. DH and I use the air traffic control approach—one person hands off responsibility for the kids and waits to leave until the other person confirms/accepts responsibility. It’s not enough to call out “I’m leaving!” and assume the other person heard.

then you would have to give him unsupervised visits....a nanny is cheaper. sorry. i would be livid too but a person can one mistake of this magnitude.

No it’s not divorce worthy, yes you are overreacting. And do something about your rage. Normal to be upset but everyone makes mistakes, no harm came to them and your reaction is serious red flags. Seek help.

I am being very serious.

No this is not divorce worthy. But you are also not overreacting - they could have gotten seriously hurt.

However, this is a mistake that I could see someone making maybe once in a lifetime. Work on a better communication system between you guys and move on.

IMO, you're overreacting. The kids were not harmed. He made a mistake thinking you were in the house. If it happens again, then I would get upset.

Where did he go?

Divorce on the spot? If this is the only time he's ever displayed that kind of negligence, I'd have a serious conversation with him. If this is just the straw that broke the camel's back, then maybe.

I am shaking with rage. He said he thought I was in the bedroom with my preschooler with the door closed. I was picking her up from school like I do every day at that time. We are never home at that time. Why would he think that? Toddlers were just roaming around the house on their own. Probably about a half hour and I completely lost it when I realized what he had done. My mind is spinning. I don't want him to set foot in this house again. Is this divorce worthy. Am I overreacting.