It also places the responsibility of "restoring" the perpetrator on the shoulders of the victim, at least in part. To the extent it is possible for a violent child to be "restored," that should be the responsibility of the adults in the school, not the victimized child (or their parents).

Ask your kids what they think. The short answer I get from mine and an eye-roll along with "victim blaming."

As far as I can tell, it mainly serves as a way to revictimize the victim - there is absolutely no empowerment.

The perpetrator continues, just a little more sneakily.

I finally had to go in to the school and demand that the other child be kept away from my child if the school could not guarantee their protection outside of the classroom (recess, bathrooms, lunchroom, etc.). They complied, but the school still did not actually punish the perpetrator.

I don't think it really works. Usually the underlying problem is a lack of impulse control, rigidity, trauma, or other special needs type thing that needs an IEP. But the school doesn't want to pay for the IEP or the parents won't agree to it, so they cheap out and put the victim through the RJ song and dance instead.

Oh, and if the parents of the victimized kid are unhappy with it, the school shames them for not cooperating and blathers vaguely about "equity". Don't forget that part.

If you're at a charter there's really no recourse BTW.

https://www.vox.com/22979070/restorative-justice-forgiveness-limits-promise

I'm not a fan. Basically there's a talking session where there's a fake apology and then the bullied kid is pressured to fake-forgive. The bullied kid has to say things like "I don't want to be hit" or "Please don't hit me" which is really kind of pathetic, being forced by teachers to publicly beg your bully to stop hitting you when everyone knows they won't stop. Then they get bullied again and the cycle repeats. It's re-traumatizing, and it consumes a tremendous amount of school resources and instructional time. "Consensus" means that anyone can block the outcome, so you tend to get deadlocked. And it devolves into rewarding bad behavior with attention, kids learn that behaving badly gets them lots of attention and extra perks like being allowed to leave the classroom.

I think most people's liking of restorative justice lasts until the second time their kid gets hit. Then that's the end of it.

It's not even really useful in pre-k. Kids get hit and are told to "make a request." "Please don't hit me anymore!" "Ok." It teaches kids nothing.

Anonymous wrote:Might be useful in ECE. In upper ES and beyond it does not work. Kids need boundaries and consequences. When there are no real consequences they figure it out real quick. A conversation about how they made someone feel and having to apologize is not a consequence.

+100!

Might be useful in ECE. In upper ES and beyond it does not work. Kids need boundaries and consequences. When there are no real consequences they figure it out real quick. A conversation about how they made someone feel and having to apologize is not a consequence.

Anonymous wrote:This is extremely helpful. Can you point me in the direction of that podcast?

LMGTFY: https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/2017/10/18/558104287/a-year-of-love-and-struggle-in-a-new-high-school

This is extremely helpful. Can you point me in the direction of that podcast?

Nope even the Ron Brown school that heralded the use found out after the first year how tough it is and learned that it doesn’t work for students who are serious offenders. There is a podcast about it and some reporters did a follow up a year or so after the school opened. It takes a massive amount of training and staff resources that most schools won’t have.

PSA on the term “bullying”. Run of the mill meanness is *not* bullying. Bullying is a repeated abuse of power.

https://www.ncab.org.au/bullying-advice/bullying-for-parents/definition-of-bullying/

Apologies for interrupting the regularly scheduled programming, but the term “bullying” is way overused these days. Carry on.

Nope. It’s terrible.

Restorative justice seems like it offers many rewards – but is that only in theory?

I seek instances were restorative justice was particularly helpful; and what was it that made it so –

There are many factors that vary, for instance do parents/guardians need to be there in order to make it work? If parents and guardians are not present, is it really restorative justice - or just students in an office being told to say sorry.

Does someone have an experience where the bullying ("You're stupid and ugly”)/hitting/pushing/kicking actually diminished after a restorative justice circle?