Not after 9th grade. But when I was a senior, a new girl to town that summer ended up being voted prom queen and some other yearbook superlative. Some kids are just resilient.

Definitely not high school

After sixth, preferably stay put.

Anonymous wrote:Moving at natural breaks is the best. Between preschool/K or K/1, between elementary & middle, between middle & high.

I also feel like moving between grades in elementary is less stressful than in middle/high. At least in my elementary school, the classes were pretty segregated so a bunch of the kids won’t have friends in the class anyway. (And kids are marginally less awful before puberty I think.)

That being said, my oldest sister who had to move around a bunch as a kid (before I was born) says between any grade isn’t the end of the world but NEVER move mid year.

I think after first grade, honestly. The older the kid, the harder it is.

senior year in high school

I think all others are ok
junior year, hard but not as hard obviously

Moving at natural breaks is the best. Between preschool/K or K/1, between elementary & middle, between middle & high.

I would say you want to be settled in your permanent school by the beginning of 4th grade. That’s when the mean kid stuff really starts and kids start acting like “big kids” instead of “little kids.” It helps if a kid has a good friend group by the time that all starts.

Failing that, time your moves so they occur at the start of the new school year at the beginning of middle school (6th or 7th, depending on how your district does it) or HS. That way a kid will start school with a larger number of fellow “new kids” who might have come from private schools that only have grades K-5 or K-8.

Once they start 10th grade, don't move them.

I would say don’t move before 6th for girls, and before 8th for boys.

Girls - my friend moved hers before 7th, but i say 6th, because of pandemic virtual etc etc. 7th was hard moving into friends. Since she knew no one, and is definitely fearful of new experiences.. she ended up in a crowd of friends that isn’t good. It’s like, everyone else in the school knew that the group is toxic. There’s a reason the friend group is a small bubble and doesn’t have a lot of healthy friend overlap. So my friend’s kid .. being new.. was glommed onto by this group. And they were so accepting, right?! Except they are manipulative. Moral: middle school is hard enough, but no one knows you and you’re not naturally outgoing, you could end up with toxic friends

8th for boys - because boys are out to prove themselves and well before 9th grade. It’s the high school jockeying for position happens in 8th. They do dumb stuff to prove themselves. If you want them to do less dumb stuff, they might be better to already have a partial social spot. Nothing really to prove.

I would not move a kid any of the 4 years of HS. That would just be cruel

My oldest is going until high school and I wouldn’t move her y less we were literally about to be homeless/broke.

Anonymous wrote:Senior year in high school.

Agree. A family I know had to. They moved into our town, and we got to know them because they lived closeby. The senior boy didn’t fit in, even by the end of the school year. I see him in the full class photo, and he’s sitting alone.

I maybe might have tried to include him, but we didn’t make any connection. By senior year I ended up hanging out with younger best friends, and had a bf for a while. I think if same gender it would have been a no-brainer, and then on top of that we didn’t have anything in common.

Senior year in high school.

I should add and be clear, your answer could contain multiple years that are not good.

Before what school year should you not move your kids?

Your opinions, below. May or may not be different for a boy or girl.

Maybe this came from experience in your life where you HAD to move. Maybe it’s from seeing a friend go through this.