My DH is a SAHD and was most definitely excluded when our kids were little - the preschool moms would get together and very visibly exclude him (and our daughters). This is in a blue/purple area of NOVA. It bothered him, but not enough that we changed things up. There is still definitely a stigma.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. So what are the chances a friend of mine who is a stay at home dad will be able to make social connections in the DMV? His wife works a solid gov job bringing in around $130k while he stays home and handles the homefront duties.

He also takes and picks up his two boys from school and is a good partner to his wife, who often travels. His boys also have some special needs, which require extra attention but nothing major. Are his boys better off seeing their dad in a job?

I can't speak to the DMV but my husband was a stay at home dad for a few years in a liberal city and had no problem making friends. One of our kids was special needs, but didn't have bad behavior so people were totally fine including her. Also, you're talking about two different things - one is can a SAHD make friends and the other is how little boys perceive their fathers if the fathers don't work an office job.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. So what are the chances a friend of mine who is a stay at home dad will be able to make social connections in the DMV? His wife works a solid gov job bringing in around $130k while he stays home and handles the homefront duties.

He also takes and picks up his two boys from school and is a good partner to his wife, who often travels.

His boys also have some special needs, which require extra attention but nothing major.

Are his boys better off seeing their dad in a job?

No, to the last question. Emphatic no.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. So what are the chances a friend of mine who is a stay at home dad will be able to make social connections in the DMV? His wife works a solid gov job bringing in around $130k while he stays home and handles the homefront duties.

He also takes and picks up his two boys from school and is a good partner to his wife, who often travels.

His boys also have some special needs, which require extra attention but nothing major.

Are his boys better off seeing their dad in a job?

Op why are you asking this? It doesn’t sound like it’s any of your business. It sounds like they’ve made the right decision for them. And like he does a great job in his role. There may still be some stigma but that doesn’t mean it’s not the right decision and won’t be good for his boys.

Anonymous wrote:I think it is harder for SAHDs because they have less support. Bring a SAHP is hard, for a man or a woman, but women have more of the village, depending on their community.

Perception wise I think SAHDs do feel a bit of stigma from the older generation and from more traditional/conservative circles. But then again women have been judged all their lives for every little thing- whether they work or stay home.

I agree with this. My BIL was a SAHD for about five years when my sister had to travel a lot for work and he didn't seem to feel it too much, but he's in a creative field so I can't imagine him being friends with people who got judgey about that kind of thing. That being said, I think he feels more comfortable contributing to the family income since he found a job once their daughter was more independent. When he stayed at home, his social circle was much more other artists rather than other SAHPs, I think, which probably helped too.

Your friend should do whatever works best for his family.

As far as social networks - I am a SAHM who was friends with a SAHD. We got along great, did meet ups at a playground with some other moms. The only thing that we didnt do was one on one meet ups at a house. It was always a group setting, which can in some ways be less conducive to socializing.

Anonymous wrote:
With more women becoming the family breadwinner, have stay-at-home dads become more accepted in society than ever before? Or is there a stigma attached to stay-at-home dads, especially in the career-oriented DMV?

Yes, the stigma is still there and his career is over.

OP here. So what are the chances a friend of mine who is a stay at home dad will be able to make social connections in the DMV? His wife works a solid gov job bringing in around $130k while he stays home and handles the homefront duties.

He also takes and picks up his two boys from school and is a good partner to his wife, who often travels.

His boys also have some special needs, which require extra attention but nothing major.

Are his boys better off seeing their dad in a job?

I think it is harder for SAHDs because they have less support. Bring a SAHP is hard, for a man or a woman, but women have more of the village, depending on their community.

Perception wise I think SAHDs do feel a bit of stigma from the older generation and from more traditional/conservative circles. But then again women have been judged all their lives for every little thing- whether they work or stay home.

Stay at home Dads seem lonely on the playground while the moms talk.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. There is still a stigma.

Why is that?

Because in our society men are typically breadwinners and women caretakers. It’s changing slightly but still a stigma.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes. There is still a stigma.

Why is that?

Because raising children is women’s work.

Anonymous wrote:Yes. There is still a stigma.

Why is that?

Yes. There is still a stigma.

With more women becoming the family breadwinner, have stay-at-home dads become more accepted in society than ever before? Or is there a stigma attached to stay-at-home dads, especially in the career-oriented DMV?