not much i would say - i do feel like i have so much.
but when i really think about it: freedom. also, ability to travel, be stylish, socialize with friends. And all the self care i used to do. but i don’t even know if those are sacrifices- i’m glad I got to have and do all those things and I traded and that’s ok. Hopefully in another ten years i can have some of that back but even if i don’t it is ok.

Sleep, health, time

I didn't realize how much I'd get touched.
Didn't realize how much I'd get interrupted.
Didn't realize how much stuff my kids would try to accumulate.

Honestly, my mental health. I had virtually no anxiety pre-kids. Now I have 2 daughters and I have to worry about predators, mass shootings, rape….I never thought I’d be an anxious parent but my kids are very rarely out of my sight and they are required to take martial arts classes so they can defend themselves.

Also I have always been very feminist and believe no one deserves to be assaulted no matter what they wear or how they behave. But I am making damn sure my girls keep covered to not attract attention, that they behave in ways that keep predators at bay, and that they do not touch alcohol, drugs, or go to parties.

Which also means I lead by example, so I’ve given up all alcohol and late nights with friends, and I always dress extremely modestly.

Now with the latest school shooting, I am considering home schooling, which also means my career will take a huge hit. I own my own business and work from home, but I would have to scale back by 50% and work on weekends when dad is home.

Anonymous wrote:Career

and by career, I mean the whole kit and kaboodle. Both children ended up having different SN that made the intensive parent years much more intense and for much longer. Dual working parents did not work.

My oldest has special needs, that in the realm of special needs are rather mild (they do not involve round the clock medical care), but which still mean that we always think of him for any life decision we make: moving, changing schools, etc. Indeed, he is the reason we have picked our MoCo home so carefully, to be inbounds for a particular elementary that caters well to kids with SN, and to later on be part of a middle and high school cluster that has the appropriate program for his needs. We don't want to move away, which means jobs have to be here. Since he has needed intensive coaching and accompaniment, particularly morning and night, which are hard to outsource, we have been present for him every day for years. Every trip we've done has been with his medical risks in mind as well, carrying his meds. Our lives have centered around his needs.

Is this a sacrifice? We don't view it in those terms. We love our children, and we parent each of them according to their needs.

Career

Weight

Time.

Time in the morning getting ready for work.

Time to make dinner.

Time on the weekends to relax.

I could name a hundred of these

I never imagined my stomach would forever look like a melted candle. Thought I’d snap back.

Anonymous wrote:I thought the items you listed were a given. Why do you seem surprised?

People don't talk about postpartum complications with the same fervor and openness of any other major surgery problems imo.

career

I thought the items you listed were a given. Why do you seem surprised?

sleep

Could be your physical health, inability to go on vacation, personal time, skipping meals - just curious.