If it helps, I was the gifted kid in all the advanced programs, got straight As with almost no effort, 99th percentile on my SATs. My younger sister was a special needs kid, medicated constantly, would study her butt off and get only a B, dropped out of college because it was too hard.

Today, she’s a physician with a thriving practice and I’m an unmarried mom with 2 baby daddies and on food stamps. So, ya never really know how things are gonna turn out 🤷‍♀️

I was an "early reader" around 3 and my little brother, who was plopped in front of the TV from a young age and didn't start reading until 6ish, is much smarter than me. Some things are genetic. Don't feel bad. My low-screen-time kid is constantly watching stuff now.

Eh, I grew up with none of those save the bilingualism. And am now in the position where I can give my children all of those.

I will say the two biggest gifts you can give your children are paid off college (with maybe a little leftover cash so they can buy their starter home early on) + support when they have young children. The private schools and things matter much less (and I say that as someone who sends to private).

Anonymous wrote:I would only admit it here but I feel the same. As much as I defend my choices here and know in my heart that I am doing the best I can in the moment, I do look at other parents who do more and feel inadequate.

Are you one of those people who say daycare is better than nanny and public is better than private 😀

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read something yesterday that resonated. It was about how we praise kids who are talented and smart, but what mattered most to this person was actually the kids who are kind. It was a really sweet tribute to her kid’s friend.

But a lot of the exceptional kids are also kind and loving.

The top student in my son’s 2nd grade class is also the kindest and most inclusive.

It does give the insecurities!

There is something wrong with the world if you know who the top student in your 2nd grader’s class is. 11th or 12th? Sure

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot changes over the next several years. Some of the early readers will be “average” later. And some kids who didn’t really read until 1st are “gifted”.

Connect/play with your kids, read to them, and love them. That’s all they need when they are young.

Yes to the late readers being gifted but not true with early readers or early talkers turning out to be average. I’ve run data on this as a school administrator and read many studies on it.

Well, “above average” which is average around here. Not the naturally precocious kids, but the ones whose parents did “teach my baby to read” or whatever.

Anonymous wrote:I read something yesterday that resonated. It was about how we praise kids who are talented and smart, but what mattered most to this person was actually the kids who are kind. It was a really sweet tribute to her kid’s friend.

But a lot of the exceptional kids are also kind and loving.

The top student in my son’s 2nd grade class is also the kindest and most inclusive.

It does give the insecurities!

Anonymous wrote:A lot changes over the next several years. Some of the early readers will be “average” later. And some kids who didn’t really read until 1st are “gifted”.

Connect/play with your kids, read to them, and love them. That’s all they need when they are young.

Yes to the late readers being gifted but not true with early readers or early talkers turning out to be average. I’ve run data on this as a school administrator and read many studies on it.

I read something yesterday that resonated. It was about how we praise kids who are talented and smart, but what mattered most to this person was actually the kids who are kind. It was a really sweet tribute to her kid’s friend.

I would only admit it here but I feel the same. As much as I defend my choices here and know in my heart that I am doing the best I can in the moment, I do look at other parents who do more and feel inadequate.

Anonymous wrote:A lot changes over the next several years. Some of the early readers will be “average” later. And some kids who didn’t really read until 1st are “gifted”.

Connect/play with your kids, read to them, and love them. That’s all they need when they are young.

+1 and there’s also no telling which kids are going to be talented in whatever but lose interest in it as they get older, which early reader is going to end up being a lot more interested in math and fall behind in ELA when they get older, which late bloomer kid will end up being a star later … it’s pretty much a crapshoot. Don’t worry about this stuff when you have little kids, it’s not worth it.

Providing your kid with unconditional love, and a strong moral compass will set your kids up for success above all else.

A lot changes over the next several years. Some of the early readers will be “average” later. And some kids who didn’t really read until 1st are “gifted”.

Connect/play with your kids, read to them, and love them. That’s all they need when they are young.

Pretty much a forever feeling… even if your kid is in one of those desirable categories.
Thankfully, it’s just a feeling.

… make me feel inadequate as a parent. I really try not to compare but it definitely feels like other parents are giving their young children more advantages than I have (practically and genetically).

Educated nannies, private schools, lessons… things we just can’t afford. Our daycare doesn’t even come close to three hours of outdoor time a day!

Anyone else? Is this a forever feeling or does it go away?