Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see anything wrong with that at all.

OP here. Well my own mother and grandmother are both dead. But I was always taught (and previous threads on here have confirmed that:

A - and immediately family member of the bride cannot host and
B - no showers after the first baby

Questioning the things we were taught and updating our beliefs and attitudes in light of newly gained information or insight are signs of a mature and inquisitive mind.

I don’t understand what the issues are here?

I posted about going to some 2nd or 3rd baby showers. They were more of parties to celebrate. Most gave a gift card and there wasn’t a registry. I’m happy to go to any party as a reason to celebrate a happy occasion.

This rule was silly and I think we’ve mostly let it go. I think the concept was that since you are asked to bring a gift, it would be unseemly for family to host the party. But hello, weddings? I think it’s a rule that comes from a time when whole cohorts of young, white, privileged women got married and started having babies in the suburbs all at once. They hosted baby showers for each other in rotation. But we’re not in that time any more and I think we can leave it there.

I have mixed feelings about the gift-centric nature of baby showers as well, but there are a lot of ways to modify it. You can do a book shower (you need some sort of list to manage it), which limits the cost and is lovely. You can say that in lieu of gifts you want people’s best advice, send them something to write it on, and make some sort of display at the party. Or just say “no gifts, please.” But some kind of modification might make people happier if they are used to/like giving gifts.

Those rules are for dinosaurs. It’s 2022, your mom can host your baby shower.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see anything wrong with that at all.

OP here. Well my own mother and grandmother are both dead. But I was always taught (and previous threads on here have confirmed that:

A - and immediately family member of the bride cannot host and
B - no showers after the first baby

She's not a bride. Along as you don't throw your own baby shower, I don't care who hosts it.

I have always thought the 2nd baby+ rule is bs. So only first babies are worthy of celebrating? Sure, don't ask for all kinds of expensive baby gear again, but clothes and books and diapers are still needed for a new baby.

A family either has money, in which case they don't really "need" anything for a first baby either, or money is tight in which case consumable necessities are still really helpful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see anything wrong with that at all.

OP here. Well my own mother and grandmother are both dead. But I was always taught (and previous threads on here have confirmed that:

A - and immediately family member of the bride cannot host and
B - no showers after the first baby

It’s 2022. Things change.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see anything wrong with that at all.

OP here. Well my own mother and grandmother are both dead. But I was always taught (and previous threads on here have confirmed that:

A - and immediately family member of the bride cannot host and
B - no showers after the first baby

I’m the PP. I’m sorry your mother is not here but I don’t think those are rules. My mother was also the main person planning my bridal shower, along with my sister and aunt. My sister was younger than me. I got married young and have nice memories from this.

I don't think there is anything wrong with it and you need more to worry about. Move on.

What’s wrong with this? I didn’t have a shower for my second child but my mother and sister threw me one for my first. My mother mostly planned it. I’ve been to plenty for second or even third kids. There are all sorts of reasons.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t see anything wrong with that at all.

OP here. Well my own mother and grandmother are both dead. But I was always taught (and previous threads on here have confirmed that:

A - and immediately family member of the bride cannot host and
B - no showers after the first baby

Oh well I’m mostly judging you here, actually.

MYOB. I don’t actually care if people do showers for a second baby, for all I know they have good reasons (big age gap, didn’t prepare/register as well for first due to tough pregnancy, etc.). And I see NOTHING wrong with a mother throwing a shower for her daughter. Not everyone has the required aunt/best friend to do stuff like that for them.

Are you invited? Just decline and go do something else that day. Don’t bring your bad vibes to someone else’s happy day.

I don’t see anything wrong with that at all.

What about hosting the first one? My bff did that. I think she simply wanted the control.

And all I could think the whole time was “DCUM would absolutely die.”

That it is all. Just wanted to let you guys know how you invade my thoughts!