Anonymous wrote:Op here… I guess I’m mostly frustrated that my mom won’t give up the day AND doesn’t ask maybe what I’d like to do. If I have to share the day, fine, but taking my young kids to brunch isn’t it.

If your 6yo “wouldn’t give up” the idea of cake for breakfast every day, would you give in and feed him cake for breakfast every day? No? You’d set healthy boundaries?

Shut up and set boundaries. Or continue laying down like a doormat, but don’t you dare whine when you get stepped on.

Anonymous wrote:Op here… I guess I’m mostly frustrated that my mom won’t give up the day AND doesn’t ask maybe what I’d like to do. If I have to share the day, fine, but taking my young kids to brunch isn’t it.

So use your words to tell her that.

Every year, you people whine on DCUM.

Every year, we support you and give you good advice to set boundaries and get what you want.

Every year, you mush-mouth and make excuses.

Shut up.

Op here… I guess I’m mostly frustrated that my mom won’t give up the day AND doesn’t ask maybe what I’d like to do. If I have to share the day, fine, but taking my young kids to brunch isn’t it.

I’m nearly there too OP. Different reasons but I feel like I give so much every day. I put so much thought and effort into holidays for others and Mother’s Day and my birthday are total afterthoughts.

Next year plan a day or a weekend that’s just for you. Tell your mom and MIL far in advance or have your DH tell them. You are not obligated to celebrate it in any certain way (or at all).

I sent my mom and MIL texts this morning. The kids made and mailed them cute cards last week. I see no reason why anything more than that needs to be done. They know we love and appreciate them.

Anonymous wrote:No is a full sentence. She can refuse to celebrate Mother’s Day on a different day all she wants, that doesn’t obligate you to kowtow to her whims. Stop whining and feeling sorry for yourself and just woman up and stand up for yourself.

Exactly. Who are all these whiners?

No is a full sentence. She can refuse to celebrate Mother’s Day on a different day all she wants, that doesn’t obligate you to kowtow to her whims. Stop whining and feeling sorry for yourself and just woman up and stand up for yourself.

Why are you a doormat?

I called my mother, who lives overseas. We had a nice conversation.

Then I baked my favorite cake. We had a normal day, with flowers on the table.

You don’t need to make it into a big production, OP. This is on you, for not knowing how to put yourself first.

Hugs OP. I don’t blame you. It’s not my fave day either because the women in my family end up having to cook / host or and/or purchase gifts for moms, aunts etc. There are just a lot of expectations. Next year it falls on May 14th. Might be good to plan a long weekend somewhere to relax.

Next year decide which half of the day you are going to spend the way you want, let everyone know far in advance that’s what’s happening, and then do it. If other people get their feelings hurt, you have my permission to tell them that you are tired of coming last and feeling like iobosy cares about what you want. Tell them it makes you feel bad and not like the holiday. Stick to your guns and do what you want for at least half the day!

Just book a getaway for next year’s Mother’s Day weekend. Write nice messages to them on Facebook or send e-cards to them.

That's irritating. They don't get to monopolize the day forever. Moms with children under 18 should get priority. My mom is super flexible (we visit on Saturday), but my MIL always insisted on a visit Sunday. My husband was very nice and always keeps the visit short. At least he takes the kids with him (I don't go).

The best thing about mother’s day this year is that get 370 days before the next one! More than a year.

Every year, it’s the same thing. I spend the entire weekend celebrating my mom and MIL and never get anytime to do what I want. Now it’s Sunday night and I’m just so sad and feel so unappreciated. Every year I try not to care, but then I get sad. My mom in particular refuses to celebrate Mother’s Day a different day.