I’m not the popular mom but I have a popular kid. We don’t live in the cool neighborhood but we live in the rich neighborhood. I host a lot of play dates. My kids have nice birthday parties.

I’m part of all the kid activities but I am not friends with any moms. We are friendly though.

My life improved so much when I stopped trying to be a “popular mom”.

Anonymous wrote:I have no idea who the mom cliques are at our school, if they exist.

+1

I know many moms of my kids’ friends. Some of them are genuine friends of mine, too, and I make a point to spend time with them. Others, I’m friendly and happy to chat with at the playground, and others, we mostly communicate to set up play dates. Beyond that, I don’t care.

Also: yet another reason I am so, so grateful I got off Facebook.

OP, once you find true friends (women who aren't even on your radar now), you'll kick yourself for wasting time/energy on trying to befriend those who aren't nearly as good a match.

I have no idea who the mom cliques are at our school, if they exist.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes they are everywhere. Just do your best to focus on other areas as best you can, and be friendly to all.

(And yes, it sucks. I'm frequently the one on the outside, despite being involved in lots of activities with all of them.)

OP here - this is me. I know them, our kids are friends, I just don't live in the cool neighborhood, so I am not one of them, nor will I ever be.

Well, in my case I do live in the cool neighborhood and I'm not one of them.

Same. It’s fine, though. The handful of times I’ve been on included for whatever reason we’re just not that enjoyable. Don’t believe the hype. The cliques often form for all sorts of reasons that have nothing to do with genuine friendship, regardless of what their social media has you thinking. And they get harder to maintain when the kids get older and make their own choices about their friends. Just focus on finding individual people you click with.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes they are everywhere. Just do your best to focus on other areas as best you can, and be friendly to all.

(And yes, it sucks. I'm frequently the one on the outside, despite being involved in lots of activities with all of them.)

OP here - this is me. I know them, our kids are friends, I just don't live in the cool neighborhood, so I am not one of them, nor will I ever be.

15:29 here - I actually live in the "cool" neighborhood and am still excluded. I saw on FB that the neighborhood moms hosted a baby shower for another neighborhood mom. Yep, not invited and didn't know about it - despite knowing most everyone. Yes, it sucks.

Moving to a different school won't help. They are everywhere. As long as your kid is happy and included, that's all that should matter. Make your own independent friends.

If your kid isn't included by theirs, put the kid in activities outside of school to make other friends.

I have one kid who likes to follow her own path and has interests that most tweens her age don't like... fencing, water polo, and knitting. Some of her best friends are from these activities, not from school.

OP, are you a friendly, approachable person? Do you ever initiate or make plans? I find that the people who complain about this are never the organizers and are often awkward socially.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes they are everywhere. Just do your best to focus on other areas as best you can, and be friendly to all.

(And yes, it sucks. I'm frequently the one on the outside, despite being involved in lots of activities with all of them.)

OP here - this is me. I know them, our kids are friends, I just don't live in the cool neighborhood, so I am not one of them, nor will I ever be.

Well, in my case I do live in the cool neighborhood and I'm not one of them.

Anonymous wrote:Yes they are everywhere. Just do your best to focus on other areas as best you can, and be friendly to all.

(And yes, it sucks. I'm frequently the one on the outside, despite being involved in lots of activities with all of them.)

OP here - this is me. I know them, our kids are friends, I just don't live in the cool neighborhood, so I am not one of them, nor will I ever be.

They are everywhere. The best thing to do is to figure out how not to care.

Yes they are everywhere. Just do your best to focus on other areas as best you can, and be friendly to all.

(And yes, it sucks. I'm frequently the one on the outside, despite being involved in lots of activities with all of them.)

They're everywhere. I wouldn't move to avoid it because it'll be the same thing elsewhere.

Seriously considering moving to a different school because of the MOMS. Ugh.