Anonymous wrote:He has little to no custody now so leave it be. If he wants to fight for childcare time, he can prove his case to the courts. Don’t lift a finger for this until the courts contact you. If anything document any issues about parenting and coparenting or communication difficulties in the past.

That’s what I figured. There’s no court order yet, but it seems almost certain a judge would order the status quo and then tell my ex to file to change the order should the circumstances change in the future.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is he a convicted violent felon? Then maybe. Otherwise plan on 50/50, unless you have a time machine to travel back 20-30 years.

There has to be some other way to get custody.

I have full physical (my kids sleep at my house 7 nights a week, he has limited daytime visitation) but still joint legal with me having tie breaking.

DH wasn't a convicted violent felon, but he was actively psychotic with 2 of the past 4 months spent inpatient when I filed. Also, he didn't fight the agreement.

He has little to no custody now so leave it be. If he wants to fight for childcare time, he can prove his case to the courts. Don’t lift a finger for this until the courts contact you. If anything document any issues about parenting and coparenting or communication difficulties in the past.

Anonymous wrote:Is he a convicted violent felon? Then maybe. Otherwise plan on 50/50, unless you have a time machine to travel back 20-30 years.

There has to be some other way to get custody.

Is he a convicted violent felon? Then maybe. Otherwise plan on 50/50, unless you have a time machine to travel back 20-30 years.

Correct. Just act dumb and don’t sign BS if he papers that up.

Keep documenting your proof of his parenting for if/when he does go to court to make demands.

Nothing has been signed since he wants the agreement to say that he will automatically get 50/50 custody when X situation occurs. I don’t believe that it is in the best interest of the children for that to happen for a variety of reasons, and definitely don’t want to sign a custody agreement based on a hypothetical. I’m guessing a judge would just order our current arrangement be the custody order, and then tell my ex he can file a motion to change that in the future if he wants.

So your custody docs are done and he wants to have flexibility in the future (ie new GF or wife can pitch in) or in general?

I’d ignore that.

If he’s serious he will have to go the court route and maybe the children will be old enough to have a say.

He can convince the court then. And you.

I know DC has a preference for 50/50 physical and legal custody. What are the chances a judge could grant me full custody and maintain our current every other weekend schedule? Dad is difficult to reason with and makes co-parenting impossible, and is currently unable to take care of the kids more than what he does, but wants to be able to get 50/50 in the future.