You suggest that the fact that there are a ton of kids among the family is a reason to include the kids in her wedding.

You should understand that the fact that there a ton of kids is PRECISELY the reason why she does not want to include kids. She doesn’t want to turn it in to Romper Room. And Imtotally agree.

Also, parents who can never use a babysitter are not healthy. Why don’t your parents-in-law stay with your kids that weekend?

So don't go.


I have kids and I rather not take them to weddings.

Anonymous wrote:It's so frustrating. Literally everyone has kids. All the cousins except this one. All of us had inclusive weddings. She also has given 0 help for everyone coming from out of town to find sitters. I enjoy my kids and frankly find it hard to leave them in a hotel room for multiple hours.

Go to the wedding or don’t, but this is emotionally unhealthy. Work on it.

Anonymous wrote:They don’t want everyone to come.

My cousin is going to get married on a weekday at a location where everyone has to travel to. They also obviously don’t want everyone to go.

Glad I’m not the only one. My cousin got married in the middle of the day on a Wednesday in a relatively remote area in California. My siblings and I would have loved to go, without spouses or kids - but all three of us are on the east coast and have jobs, and just threw up our hands at that.

Anonymous wrote:It's so frustrating. Literally everyone has kids. All the cousins except this one. All of us had inclusive weddings. She also has given 0 help for everyone coming from out of town to find sitters. I enjoy my kids and frankly find it hard to leave them in a hotel room for multiple hours.

It’s her wedding and her choice. She has zero requirement to have an “inclusive” wedding.

Thousands parents every year hire a sitter to go to weddings. You can too, or decline.

Their wedding = their choice. Have you asked your cousin for a possible sitter assistance? If you can’t attend, it is okay. Your children don’t have a right to be included everywhere. It’s okay to be disappointed, but don’t be offended.

Just don’t go then. My cousins, who are 10 and 12 years younger than me, are each getting married this summer and having no kid weddings. The weddings are in the areas they each live, which is not where our family originated, and would require me to fly there, rent a car, and get a hotel, and that doesn’t even get to the issue of what to do with my 2 ES aged kids. I’m totally fine with their choices, and will send a generous gift, but I also am not attending these weddings because the cost and the vacation time it would eat into in order to go to both is quite frankly not worth it.

They don’t want everyone to come.

My cousin is going to get married on a weekday at a location where everyone has to travel to. They also obviously don’t want everyone to go.

So go the wedding alone and leave your kids at home with your spouse, if you have one.

Since she is the youngest, there are obviously more family kids than there were when you were married.

+1

She’s entitled to pick her wedding, you’re entitled to choose rather or not to go. The fact that everyone else had inclusive weddings is irrelevant (You chose to include kids. However you could also have chosen to exclude kids, elope to Vegas, have an elaborate destination wedding, tied the knot at city hall, or said your vows on a roller coaster, etc. Any of those choices might have affected the attendance responses of your invited guests.) . The fact that everyone has kids is irrelevant to your decision, but if everyone declines it may become relevant for her.

Basically, everyone is free to decide their own course of action. She is not obligated to design her wedding to accommodate your preferences and you are not obligated to attend.

As the youngest cousin, she's probably been around all the kids plenty and doesn't want the mayhem at her wedding.

Anonymous wrote:All of us had inclusive weddings.

So she had lots of chances to experience weddings with kids?

Look, I'd find it inconvenient, but it's her wedding.

So don't go. It shouldnt be that hard to find two sitters to watch all the little kids in a group together. Find one sitter, and ask them to bring a responsible friend. Or again, don't go.

Then decline.

It's so frustrating. Literally everyone has kids. All the cousins except this one. All of us had inclusive weddings. She also has given 0 help for everyone coming from out of town to find sitters. I enjoy my kids and frankly find it hard to leave them in a hotel room for multiple hours.