I'm watching family members go through this now and it's... not good. The husband doesn't have a lot of hobbies, and we all encouraged him to try new things before retiring, but he never did. He's pressuring the wife to cut back on babysitting her grandkids (which is what she likes to do) and in turn, making her life miserable.

My husband has his own interests, but none of them require him to leave the house. So yeah, I'm dreading the conflict when we're both retired and I want time by myself or with someone who isn't him (I can travel with friends or just book myself a month or two at an Air B&B, but he will be hurt/offended that I'm not doing everything with him)

Anonymous wrote:DH retired last year. We are 54. It’s the best thing ever! We do spend a lot of time together because we truly like each other. But we have separate interests as well. He played golf this morning. I had my book club. Our kids are all adults. I’m loving this time in our lives.

Do you live off your investments?

I remember when my FIL retired. My MIL had spent most of her days knitting (she’s amazingly talented and used to own a yarn shop) and watching cooking shows, playing tennis and occasionally traveling with her sister and friends.

My FIL had no idea what to do with himself once he retired, understandably. So one day early in his retirement he approaches my MIL while she is knitting and watching TV and he’s like “So, what do you want to do?”

And she was like “I’m f***ing doing it” 😂

But yeah in all seriousness I kinda dread this day. I am great at keeping myself entertained with activities etc but DH relies on me to know what to do if he’s not at work. Yikes. Only a few years left to right this ship!

DH retired last year. We are 54. It’s the best thing ever! We do spend a lot of time together because we truly like each other. But we have separate interests as well. He played golf this morning. I had my book club. Our kids are all adults. I’m loving this time in our lives.

My in laws seemed to have a longish adjustment period to retirement. FIL was a hard-charging, C-level exec who took awhile to adjust to life in the slow lane. He was on a corporate board but wasn't interested in volunteering or golf. They ended up watching a lot of tv. Some domestic travel. A few house projects, in a supervisory role. I have no idea how the heck they filled their days.

My BFF says her DH will never retire and that works for her because she is an introvert and he would drive her crazy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH is retired and I WFH 4 days out of 5. It works for us because we enjoy keeping active and eating together. We go to the gym, walk to the farmer's market, work out with our trainer, watch TV together...I also like it that I can hide behind work when his side of the family visits and he can be the one who handles them.

Doesn't count. You're still working.

To be fair, she doesn’t seem to be working very much….

Anonymous wrote:DH is retired and I WFH 4 days out of 5. It works for us because we enjoy keeping active and eating together. We go to the gym, walk to the farmer's market, work out with our trainer, watch TV together...I also like it that I can hide behind work when his side of the family visits and he can be the one who handles them.

Doesn't count. You're still working.

You each need a hobby and/or an active, engaged life that is compatible with *but separate from* the other’s. “For better or for worse, but not for lunch.”

DH is retired and I WFH 4 days out of 5. It works for us because we enjoy keeping active and eating together. We go to the gym, walk to the farmer's market, work out with our trainer, watch TV together...I also like it that I can hide behind work when his side of the family visits and he can be the one who handles them.

No one gets bored with their spouse I guess.

No, not us.We are anxiously waiting for our retirement dates but I know what you are saying.

I think the pandemic gave us a preview. DH has a big hobby that can take up a lot of his time once he retires. I have plenty to keep me busy and happily entertained so I think we can manage it without a problem.

Does retirement make your life harder? Is anyone afraid of retiring and spending too much time alone with your spouse? How does a couple navigate too much togetherness?