Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I threw a 50th anniversary party for my parents. My siblings and I truly won the lottery when it came to loving and supportive and hilarious/fun parents, and grandparents to our kids.

I had it out back the weekend of their anniversary with their closest friends and my aunts/uncles.

My yard isn't huge, but I had a small dance floor put in, a tent up (September and it poured the day before). My sister helped me decorate round tables, had catering, set up a bar and great music.

They danced to their first dance and my two young boys smiled on--giggling as my dad made faces at them.

It was a very special night.

Little did I know that my dad would be dead from an aggressive cancer 2 years later. We all really cherish that we had that party, the video of their dance and photos.

Similar in my family. Extended family (in other states) come together for milestone bdays, funerals, weddings, etc. Everyone is very close and have a lot of fun together.

Family is what is important in life and generations carrying on the love and support.

Maybe it's families that really value marriage--who knows? We have no divorces in our family--and people are happy!! Travel, get together, well-adjusted, no family grudges or estrangements.

I'm the OP. We don't have a single divorce in my mom's side of the family, which is what I was talking about (the side that threw the party for the grandparents at their 50th), and only one divorce on my dad's side. So we value marriage, and people are happy. We also travel, get together, are well-adjusted, and have no family grudges or estrangements. We get together for weddings, birthdays, funerals, etc. I'm just saying that outside of that big 50th wedding anniversary party, we don't send cards or typically acknowledge wedding anniversaries. I'm not sure how that equates to "we don't value marriage"?

We threw 50th anniversary parties for both sets of parents. Otherwise, we do not do anything for other people’s anniversaries except our own.

Anonymous wrote:I threw a 50th anniversary party for my parents. My siblings and I truly won the lottery when it came to loving and supportive and hilarious/fun parents, and grandparents to our kids.

I had it out back the weekend of their anniversary with their closest friends and my aunts/uncles.

My yard isn't huge, but I had a small dance floor put in, a tent up (September and it poured the day before). My sister helped me decorate round tables, had catering, set up a bar and great music.

They danced to their first dance and my two young boys smiled on--giggling as my dad made faces at them.

It was a very special night.

Little did I know that my dad would be dead from an aggressive cancer 2 years later. We all really cherish that we had that party, the video of their dance and photos.

Similar in my family. Extended family (in other states) come together for milestone bdays, funerals, weddings, etc. Everyone is very close and have a lot of fun together.

Family is what is important in life and generations carrying on the love and support.

Maybe it's families that really value marriage--who knows? We have no divorces in our family--and people are happy!! Travel, get together, well-adjusted, no family grudges or estrangements.

Nobody I know cares about anniversaries. Least of all the main protagonists.

Personally, I usually don't even remember my anniversary.

No, I don't expect anyone to remember or acknowledge my wedding anniversary other than my husband. I also don't send a card or anything for my parents or ILs anniversaries. Now that I think of it I'm sure they would love that, but I'm not really a card person in general (I find greeting cards cheesy and not genuine) and I guess it's just never occurred to me. I don't remember my parents celebrating their anniversary at all when I was a kid. The only reason I know when it is is that my sister wound up getting married the day after their anniversary, and I remember my sister's anniversary because obviously I was at the wedding.

I threw a 50th anniversary party for my parents. My siblings and I truly won the lottery when it came to loving and supportive and hilarious/fun parents, and grandparents to our kids.

I had it out back the weekend of their anniversary with their closest friends and my aunts/uncles.

My yard isn't huge, but I had a small dance floor put in, a tent up (September and it poured the day before). My sister helped me decorate round tables, had catering, set up a bar and great music.

They danced to their first dance and my two young boys smiled on--giggling as my dad made faces at them.

It was a very special night.

Little did I know that my dad would be dead from an aggressive cancer 2 years later. We all really cherish that we had that party, the video of their dance and photos.

I’m with you, OP. I barely care about my own anniversary, much less anyone else’s. (I like my husband fine, though.)

We did a big event for my parents' 40th anniversary, but other than that...
I can't imagine being upset that someone didn't celebrate my anniversary.

We acknowledge our parents wedding anniversary and they acknowledge ours. For any close relatives that have lost a spouse I reach out to them in some fashion to let them know that I am thinking of them on this special day.

Same, OP: I don't expect it, and I don't mark it for others. It's possible my siblings and I might do a 50 year party for our parents.

My ILs send us a card, and I don't particularly love that, because I think they expect that in return, but DH has never done that, so...

I typically text my parents or inlaws "Happy Anniversary" and that's it. Our parents usually do the same for us. My parents recently have started taking our kids overnight on our anniversary (or the Fri/Sat near our anniversary) and that's lovely.

If no one messaged me on my anniversary I wouldn't care. It's between DH and I. It's narcicistic to expect a card or a present from anyone other than your spouse.

Wedding anniversary is between spouses.

I do not expect it and do not even particularly like it, but my ILs do send us a card and call on our anniversary. My parents do not.

We generally do not celebrate the IL's wedding anniversary, except every 10 years as milestones.

No, not at all. I'm with you completely.

In another thread, a DIL was peeved that her ILs don't recognize her wedding anniversary. I have to say, I've never thought a wedding anniversary must be recognized by anyone other than the married couple themselves. I recall that my parents/my mom's siblings and their spouses threw a big party for my grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary, but that was a tremendous milestone and they did it on the weekend when that side of my family typically had a family reunion anyway, so it was more making a reunion into an anniversary event.

My parents and ILs never celebrate my wedding anniversary, nor do I think they should! If I happen to call my parents on or around their anniversary, I say "Happy Anniversary," but that's it. I know my parents exchange cards with their friends who have the same wedding anniversary, but that's more "it's cool we have the same anniversary"; they don't exchange cards with other couples.

Do people really expect cards/gifts/recognition of their anniversary from anyone other than their spouse? Is this a thing?