I don't. I force until the end of middle school, and then lecture them about the importance of their "profile" (grades, AP exams, extra-curriculars, essays, etc) for college admissions, and we strategize together. They are not forced to do something they don't want to do at that point, since they usually understand the stakes and will do what they can on their own.

We have made them stick with swimming (summer swim team.) If they had their choice, they would have quit in middle school - but they don't HATE it and they have friends on the team. It is an intensive time commitment for about 6 weeks, but then it is done - and everyone is bummed once it is done because it really is fun. We did let them quit club swimming since that is much more intense and they did HATE that.

I stuck to my guns. I told my teen that unless there is an afterschool activity and it better be a serious one, not "Film Study", there will be no trips abroad. I meant it, I actually cancelled tickets. He's been on a basketball team ever since, currently in 11th grade.

20:10 here, I also said if he didn’t pick anything the computer would be off limits until we could find something. Really, I didn’t care what it was. If he told me he was going for a walk twice per week or joining a once per month club at school I would have said okay. He just had to do SOMETHING beside be online.

Last winter, I gave my 14 yo several options because if not he would be in his room constantly. They were a specific rec team, a sports activity at the local rec center, a non sports class at the rec center, join a club at school or come up with something on his own. Anything. He picked the rec sport.

Do something together.

I think I would require some kind of extracurricular each season. It’s part of learning about the world. There are always service things, like food banks. Also, asking them to cook dinner a week for the family.

Anonymous wrote:My kids know they have to do something other than school for their minds and their bodies. They don't have to do team sports or anything formal. But they have to be consistently putting in time for these two things, and either they can pick them or I'll pick for them. Shoot baskets in the driveway for an hour three times a week - that's fine. But pick something, anything.

^This.

My kids know they have to do something other than school for their minds and their bodies. They don't have to do team sports or anything formal. But they have to be consistently putting in time for these two things, and either they can pick them or I'll pick for them. Shoot baskets in the driveway for an hour three times a week - that's fine. But pick something, anything.

I tell my 12 and 14 year old that participating in activities is the price they must pay for the liberal amounts of time they get off in their rooms on computers and phones. I’ve told them it’s about balance - both physical and social. We discourage them from quitting things they have a natural aptitude or interest in, but I’m not going to force them to do something they don’t want to (DH might differ here). But they’ve got to do something- and it can’t just be a single activity with a three-month season.

^ post submitted too soon.
I see friends posting about their children traveling for band or sports or Model UN, and sometimes I get a little jealous. But each child is different.

Teen is broad… 13 or 16?
My kids (12 and 15) do scouts. It’s one of the few things we make them do. 13 cans still join scouts, but by 15, it’s a bit late to start. Scouts is good for kids that aren’t athletic or musical or some other special interest.
We also force at least one rec sport for the older one, but encourage each season. And the younger one we keep in rec sports year round.
I give them options. This was winter sports: swimming, 10 minutes away, 3 times a week. Wrestling, 15 minutes away, 3 times a week. Indoor soccer, twice a week, 30 minutes away. Basketball, twice a week, 20 minutes away. They both picked indoor soccer. It gave them some control. But it forced them to be active. They always know at least 1-2 kids on the teams.
We tried so many different things when they were younger so at least they have been exposed to a lot.
Funny thing, I was looking at a friends post to me

How old or what grade? Maybe a part-time job? As for video games, does your child play with friends or strangers?

My kid is a preteen but he sounds similar! I am not sure what to do.
I am going to read the responses.
My rule is to have him try out what he least dislikes
Otherwise I don’t know. You can bring a horse to water…

I realize I am inviting a LOT of negative responses here, but hear me out:

-Kid has tried a few activities here or there over the years. Nothing has really stuck. To be honest, I wish I had stuck to my guns about it but we moved out of the country and then came back. Then, three months later - bam, COVID and lockdown. I have since pushed the idea of activities and am generally shot down. This kid is going to get to the end of high school with a lot of video gaming under their belt and little else. And this is not just about college prep. I think there is a lot of value to engaging in a sport/activity, etc. Child is not athletic and I've more or less given up on sports.

There are a couple of activities that I think would play to their natural strengths. For one, I feel like they would need some exposure/lessons prior to trying out/joining.

If you needed to light a fire under your teen's butt on this, what did you do?