I don't think this works the way it once did anyway. No one is concerned about children born out of wedlock any longer.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, my friended. Their marriage was on the rocks and How oldest was 10 and moving onto middle school. She did not want to go back to work so she had another child. The baby is adorable but that marriage is miserable.

I know a story a lot like this. Now one is off to college and the other has a few years left of elementary school. It is hard when all the friends are facing empty nest and moving to the next stage and she still has a long way to go. Ironically, the divorce means she has to get a job anyways.

Yes, my friended. Their marriage was on the rocks and How oldest was 10 and moving onto middle school. She did not want to go back to work so she had another child. The baby is adorable but that marriage is miserable.

My sister had done it, and they broke up a year later. The kid stays with her.

I am one. Felt it whole life. Struggle with self acceptance to this day. Do not recommend.

Don't know for sure if it was a planned "trap baby" as you call it, but knew a woman who got accidentally, she said, pregnant with her live-in boyfriend of several years.

She had been open with everyone that she wanted to get married and had told her friends openly that he said he didn't see any need to marry. He said he was happy with her, loved her, liked their life just fine as it was.

She got pregnant. Immediately, his already fairly heavy travel for work suddenly increased, and he came back from one of his work trips and announced that he was leaving her. This is all before the baby was born. He said he would of course support the baby etc. and as far as I know has kept his word. But he was out of there. She had the second half of the pregnancy effectively alone, no partner. I think her mom was the person there for her during the birth, even. The woman was beyond devastated. I know they never got back together. A mutual friend said the woman said the baby was an accident but also said she hoped the pregnancy would mean he'd marry her.

Are you hoping to find positive stories here, where someone had a trap baby and ended up with a delighted daddy and wedding bells, or ended up staying married when divorce had been in the cards? Terrible idea, and unfair to a child who very possibly will grow up to find out dad left because of the pregnancy---or stayed because of it, but has always been resentful or even angry. Don't do this to the kid or the parents.

I knew a woman in my expecting moms group who was very up front about the fact that she decided to unilaterally go off birth control without telling her boyfriend of like a month, and then sprang the pregnancy on him. I was... appalled. They got married about a year after the baby was born, and then they had another a couple years later. They are still together and seem happy but I don't get it. I can't imagine beginning my relationship with that kind of dishonesty. It's also not clear to me that she ever told him that this was, essentially, a calculated choice on her part. She told us she just decided she wanted to have a baby and that once she was pregnant she planned to let him decide how involved he wanted to be. But she might have made it seem like a surprise accident to him.

I'll be curious to see how it goes for them. I did think about them recently because my own DD is at an age where she gets very upset when we reference anything that happened before she was born -- she doesn't like that we did things without her! And I thought about this woman and how she and her husband don't have this problem with their oldest because they did almost nothing together before he was born.

Ended in divorce (about 10 years later?), but that kid also turned out to be dad's favorite and they were very close until his death.

That's the only one I know about IRL. Everything else is from reality TV and those don't end well at all.

They ended up divorced anyway and the kid had to fly back and forth between New England and Southern CA multiple times a year starting at a young age. I'm not sorry they had her (she is my friend, now grown, and she has decent relationships with her parents and their respective families) but it didn't solve the marriage and it was a childhood with certain challenges.

Two cases I know of ended in a nasty divorce. Don't do it.

Divorced when the kid was 5 years old. There were good moments and memories but the adults could not make it work long term.

Both instances I know of ended in divorce, as did the one I only think was a trap baby.

Anonymous wrote:Do you know anyone that has had or done a trap baby? How did it go?

Divorced. Tried to keep him from leaving by getting pregnant 'accidentally' at year 10. It just created even more stress and discord.

No, I don't.

Do you know anyone that has had or done a trap baby? How did it go?