Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. For context, a friend just bought in a 1.5 mil house in a desirable zip code, got engaged with what looked like an expensive ring, got married earlier this year in a 70k-80k ceremony and is planning an international honeymoon all the while furnishing the house with expensive furniture. I’m just curious what 30 year old can afford back to back expenses like that. The spouse is not a high earner. And there doesn’t appear to be family money on either side. So I obviously wonder what income bracket he must be in to be living like that at only 30.

How do you know the spouse is not a high earner?

Also, how do you know that their family/ies don't have money? My friend tells everyone she grew up poor - BUT if you ever knew her when, you would know it was the exact opposite. Most people have a problem with other people coming from money, so she plays it off as if she grew up poor, because it is "easier", whether or not it makes sense. Her DH made a little money along the way, plus he went to a DCUM approved top of the top college, so most people assume it is his money, but it is really her money. She comes from a rich area, and her parents did very well. What benefit would it be to tell anyone that she is rich? People treat you differently, either way, so she chose the lesser of the two "evils" - plus, she gets the bonus of seeing who is who (how they act - SO "interested" in DH - gross!) - if they think the DH has money. It is very telling!

I am curious. I feel like most of my neighbors in Arlignton must have at least $400k, but dcum tells me there’s no way. Everyone is living paycheck to paycheck.

I am curious and don't mind idly speculating with my DH. But I do think these conversations can sometimes go to an unhealthy place. When my DH is in a bad headspace about money, he has a tendency to bring it up too much when talking about our friends, often in a critical way. Like friends will post photos with their family at a hockey game, all wearing team jerseys, and he'll roll his eyes at it and point out how much it must cost to by tickets for a family of 5, plus jerseys from the team store, and oh "someone must have gotten a raise" or whatever. To me that is a little crass because, hey, it's not my business how much they spent on their evening and at the end of the day, it's just our friends having a fun family night -- good for them.

But when he gets like this, it's because HE'S stressed about money, so instead of just seeing our friends with their lovely family, he thinks "ugh, I'd feel stressed affording something like that right now." Or maybe he feels guilty that we often don't do stuff like buy team jerseys for our kids because they are kind of ridiculously expensive (I personally don't think they care and would rather spend money on other things, but I think maybe he feels competitive about this kind of stuff sometimes). The point is, it's not really about them, it's about his own feelings.

OP, is your curiosity just curiosity or is it competition and jealousy. If the latter, that's the part that feels crass.

Anonymous wrote:I am curious about how everyone I know makes. My neighbors, friends, acquaintances, colleagues, bosses, family.

My husband thinks I’m super crass and nosy.

You do need to look within, and be concerned about your OWN behavior and habits.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. For context, a friend just bought in a 1.5 mil house in a desirable zip code, got engaged with what looked like an expensive ring, got married earlier this year in a 70k-80k ceremony and is planning an international honeymoon all the while furnishing the house with expensive furniture. I’m just curious what 30 year old can afford back to back expenses like that. The spouse is not a high earner. And there doesn’t appear to be family money on either side. So I obviously wonder what income bracket he must be in to be living like that at only 30.

Yeah wow, it makes you wonder for sure.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. For context, a friend just bought in a 1.5 mil house in a desirable zip code, got engaged with what looked like an expensive ring, got married earlier this year in a 70k-80k ceremony and is planning an international honeymoon all the while furnishing the house with expensive furniture. I’m just curious what 30 year old can afford back to back expenses like that. The spouse is not a high earner. And there doesn’t appear to be family money on either side. So I obviously wonder what income bracket he must be in to be living like that at only 30.

How do you know the spouse is not a high earner?

Anonymous wrote:Op here. For context, a friend just bought in a 1.5 mil house in a desirable zip code, got engaged with what looked like an expensive ring, got married earlier this year in a 70k-80k ceremony and is planning an international honeymoon all the while furnishing the house with expensive furniture. I’m just curious what 30 year old can afford back to back expenses like that. The spouse is not a high earner. And there doesn’t appear to be family money on either side. So I obviously wonder what income bracket he must be in to be living like that at only 30.

There is surely family money, even if it doesn't look like it. At least the house purchase would require some level of outside verification of income/assets, even if the other things could be purchased with debt. Or if not family money, maybe they were early crypto adopters cashing in.

I'm not curious, because I know our income is really low for the area we live in, so chances are, everyone we know makes at least triple. We have assets, but a low income. For most of our neighbors, it's the other way around.

Anonymous wrote:Why do you want to know ?
Jealousy or envious ? Either way what difference does it make.
I was watching mysteries last night. One about an Asian family. One about an Indian family. Both seemed obsessed with money. Both raised their kids to make money. Now that was weird. Didn't matter what they did for a living as long as they honored their parents by making money.
Next thing you know murder was involved.

LMAO. OP be careful you might turn to murder. What?!?!?

Op here. For context, a friend just bought in a 1.5 mil house in a desirable zip code, got engaged with what looked like an expensive ring, got married earlier this year in a 70k-80k ceremony and is planning an international honeymoon all the while furnishing the house with expensive furniture. I’m just curious what 30 year old can afford back to back expenses like that. The spouse is not a high earner. And there doesn’t appear to be family money on either side. So I obviously wonder what income bracket he must be in to be living like that at only 30.

Why do you want to know ?
Jealousy or envious ? Either way what difference does it make.
I was watching mysteries last night. One about an Asian family. One about an Indian family. Both seemed obsessed with money. Both raised their kids to make money. Now that was weird. Didn't matter what they did for a living as long as they honored their parents by making money.
Next thing you know murder was involved.

I’m curious too. That’s why you see so many threads on that on DCUM, which is anonymous. People can’t ask others to their face.

In college I was super curious. Never asked anyone obviously. But some people lived very lavishly.

Curiosity is normal. Actually asking people what they make is considered crass in our society and is something of a cultural taboo, for no obvious reason.

I am curious about how everyone I know makes. My neighbors, friends, acquaintances, colleagues, bosses, family.

My husband thinks I’m super crass and nosy.