Anonymous wrote:For chrissakes, just keep your own name.

Again, it’s not her name! She took her husband’s name six (or more) years ago.

I would take the new father’s name. Your new husband is going to adopt him and be the only father he knows. I’m the outlier here clearly but he’s going to be part of this family and there may be other siblings. It’s not a divorce - the little boy’s biological father was dead before he was born.

I would not change his last name-6 year olds don’t decide stuff like this. If your brother died before his child was born how would changing the child’s last name after seversl years ferl to you snd your parents? It’s ghastly.

For chrissakes, just keep your own name.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assuming the deceased former husband was generally a good husband and an eager dad to be I would definitely want my child to keep his last name to remember and honor him. Also if you /your son still have a relationship with his extended family (grandparents etc) imagine how hurtful it would be for them to see their son’s legacy being erased.

The deceased husband/father was dead before the boy was born. There are no memories.

He was her husband and is the biological father. Presumably they planned for/about the baby together even if he didn’t live long enough to meet him, and hopefully the mother is passing these memories on to her son at the appropriate age. His son is part of his legacy and changing his surname just seems wrong.

A six year old cannot fully comprehend what it means to change his name. Keep his name as-is. When he is a late teen or at 18, he can elect to change it then if he wants.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assuming the deceased former husband was generally a good husband and an eager dad to be I would definitely want my child to keep his last name to remember and honor him. Also if you /your son still have a relationship with his extended family (grandparents etc) imagine how hurtful it would be for them to see their son’s legacy being erased.

The deceased husband/father was dead before the boy was born. There are no memories.

PP never mentioned memories.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is 1950 and you are Donna Reed? Keep your own name, gurrll!

She already changed her name to her first husband’s name. And good thing in this situation where they’re would have been three names in one three person family.

And what's wrong with that? That's exactly what we have in our 3-person family.

Anonymous wrote:Assuming the deceased former husband was generally a good husband and an eager dad to be I would definitely want my child to keep his last name to remember and honor him. Also if you /your son still have a relationship with his extended family (grandparents etc) imagine how hurtful it would be for them to see their son’s legacy being erased.

The deceased husband/father was dead before the boy was born. There are no memories.

Anonymous wrote:This is 1950 and you are Donna Reed? Keep your own name, gurrll!

She already changed her name to her first husband’s name. And good thing in this situation where they’re would have been three names in one three person family.

No name changes

Assuming the deceased former husband was generally a good husband and an eager dad to be I would definitely want my child to keep his last name to remember and honor him. Also if you /your son still have a relationship with his extended family (grandparents etc) imagine how hurtful it would be for them to see their son’s legacy being erased.

Your new husband can take your and your son's last name. You can all change your last names to something different. Or everybody keeps their last name.

This is 1950 and you are Donna Reed? Keep your own name, gurrll!

My son’s father died before my son was born. I’ve continued to use my married name so we both use my first husbands last name. My son is six and I am remarrying a great guy who’s known my son since he was three and will legally adopt him.

I don’t know what to do about my son’s and my last name. My son says he’s fine with taking my new husband’s name but it doesn’t feel right. If my son doesn’t take my new husband’s name I won’t either.

What do most people do?