I would be horrified at her lack of judgment. She should be punching her husband!

Laying it all at the babysitter's feet is perpetuating misogyny. The husband is the one in power who is 99% at fault by inducing an employer to do inappropriate things.

I would pressure her to apologize to the babysitter and direct her ire at her husband.

I'd tell her what I've told myself, act like someone will be describing your actions to a judge.

Could the babysitter sue for emotional and physical damages in a case like this? I would imagine so in addition to contacting the police and pressing charges for assault. In other words, an expensive punch and messy AF.

She would be my new BFF, since you asked. Someone I would want on my side. Only half kidding.

Anonymous wrote:I’m torn between 18:22 and 18:28.

So I wouldn’t judge but it sounds like you don’t want to really be friends with her anymore OP, and that’s fine and you don’t have to feel bad about it.

Depends on the level of friendship. With a close friend, I’d be empathetic while also feeling bad for the babysitter. I’d continue to support a close friend. People make mistakes. There a lot of emotions around affairs and betrayal. I wouldn’t pass judgement. Life happens. This is if it’s a longtime close friend bc I love
my friends like family. For an acquaintance, I wouldn’t pass judgement but I’d not offer support either. In either situation, I’d want to make sure the babysitter was okay/being supported. I’ve known people who really got the cold shoulder from the world after having affairs with married men and this is firmly against my values. The husband is at fault here. The babysitter deserves compassion and care.

I’m torn between 18:22 and 18:28.

So I wouldn’t judge but it sounds like you don’t want to really be friends with her anymore OP, and that’s fine and you don’t have to feel bad about it.

I’m honestly surprised people are not more pro Mom based on everything I’ve read on the Relationship forum over the years about how people feel about affairs especially women who have them. I thought more people would say If it’s true, then she got was coming to her.

This happened with Carl Lentz the disgraced Hillsong pastor and his wife. She punched a babysitter with a closed fit multiple times. It doesn’t appear that anything ever came of it or that the babysitter filed assault charges.

Not “okay”, but myob.

No, I would not be okay with a friend who assaulted another person.

Anonymous wrote:
How would you react? Would you be more ‘okay’ with the violence given she thought the babysitter was having an affair with her husband. Babysitter is in her 20s mom is in her 40s FWIW. In general, would you be more forgiving of getting physical when an affair or betrayal is involved?

Nope her husband is the one who cheated, if it even happened. Shes taking it out on the babysitter who isnt in a relationship with her. The violence is one problem, her choice of victim is another.

I'd want to help them if they were open to getting help, but they'd never be around my children again. Getting angry at a man, and turning that to physically abusing someone who is more physically vulnerable is a pretty horrifying act. So, I might forgive, but I'd never again trust.

Anonymous wrote:I’d be like “new phone, who dis”

Just LOL’ed. Thank you for this.

Get your friend mental health help. If she apologizes and takes the help, then forgive her. If not, back away from the friendship.

I’d be like “new phone, who dis”

How would you react? Would you be more ‘okay’ with the violence given she thought the babysitter was having an affair with her husband. Babysitter is in her 20s mom is in her 40s FWIW. In general, would you be more forgiving of getting physical when an affair or betrayal is involved?