Anonymous
Post 04/14/2022 09:33     Subject: Re:Serious question: premarital sex
I took the pill, and never had any fear or stigma of abortion.

Once i forgot to take my pill for two days (while studying for the bar after law school - a very difficult time) and I went to PP as soon as i remembered and took the morning after pill.

Have literally never had any stress about pregnancy or BC.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2022 09:31     Subject: Serious question: premarital sex
Anonymous wrote:Dry hump. Diseases are rampant and I would wait until marriage.


You can get herpes or genital warts from that.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2022 09:29     Subject: Serious question: premarital sex
Anonymous wrote:DH. We used pill and condoms until we were married. And before we had sex, we talked about how, if she did get pregnant, we would get married.


We took a different approach. DW was on birth control and was pregnant about 3 months in. We waited about till our son was 5 years old to get married. We never wanted him to feel like we got married because of him and wanted him to be able to remember it.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2022 08:29     Subject: Re:Serious question: premarital sex
Anonymous wrote:As PPs have said, double up on birth control if you're that worried about the risk. I was on BCPs from about age 20 to age 36 and didn't get pregnant until I went off. After the birth of my 1st kid, we used condoms and I didn't get pregnant again until we stopped using them. After the birth of my 2nd kid, I was on the mini-pill so I could breastfeed - I got pregnant at 40 while taking them. I should have paid more attention to the failure rate of the mini-pill and used condoms.

Have a conversation with your doctor about what pills to take or get an IUD. Use condoms until you've got more confidence in your birth control and your partner. Birth control is highly successful. Don't let the few stories of failure keep you from having sex. And, even more importantly, have sex for the first time with someone you trust. You don't have to have a lifelong relationship with that person or marry him! You just need some help overcoming the conditioning of your childhood.


^^PP here. I forgot to mention that I got my first BCPs from Planned Parenthood when I was in college. The people at PP were AWESOME! The doctor explained all the different kinds of birth control, how they worked and then helped me decide which option was best for me. I regularly donate to them because of the great work they do.
Anonymous
Post 04/14/2022 08:28     Subject: Re:Serious question: premarital sex
As PPs have said, double up on birth control if you're that worried about the risk. I was on BCPs from about age 20 to age 36 and didn't get pregnant until I went off. After the birth of my 1st kid, we used condoms and I didn't get pregnant again until we stopped using them. After the birth of my 2nd kid, I was on the mini-pill so I could breastfeed - I got pregnant at 40 while taking them. I should have paid more attention to the failure rate of the mini-pill and used condoms.

Have a conversation with your doctor about what pills to take or get an IUD. Use condoms until you've got more confidence in your birth control and your partner. Birth control is highly successful. Don't let the few stories of failure keep you from having sex. And, even more importantly, have sex for the first time with someone you trust. You don't have to have a lifelong relationship with that person or marry him! You just need some help overcoming the conditioning of your childhood.
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2022 21:58     Subject: Serious question: premarital sex
I always knew I would keep the baby if I got pregnant accidentally. I didn’t start having sex until my 20s so I would be in a position to care for a child if necessary. Condoms didn’t fail me and I now have two very wanted kids in my 30s.
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2022 21:26     Subject: Serious question: premarital sex
DH. We used pill and condoms until we were married. And before we had sex, we talked about how, if she did get pregnant, we would get married.
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2022 21:24     Subject: Serious question: premarital sex
Use two forms of birth control. I used condoms and the pill from 20-34. I never had a scare. I had sex one time unprotected at 34 due to pressure and got an unplanned pregnancy. Double up and no worries.
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2022 21:23     Subject: Serious question: premarital sex
Dry hump. Diseases are rampant and I would wait until marriage.
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2022 20:31     Subject: Re:Serious question: premarital sex
It was too painful for me to get IUD before having a kid.

Doubled up until wanted kids.
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2022 20:18     Subject: Serious question: premarital sex
Study the risks of each option. Are you fearing sex because he isn’t “the one”?
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2022 20:07     Subject: Re:Serious question: premarital sex
I got an IUD which is very effective, and knew I would terminate in the unlikely event it failed. No fear to get over.
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2022 20:06     Subject: Serious question: premarital sex
I doubled up on birth control until I got married. That takes the risk of pregnancy down to practically nil.
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2022 20:06     Subject: Re:Serious question: premarital sex
Choose the most effective birth control available (IUD or Implant) and then use condoms as well. IUD/Implant both more than 99% effective and if you add barrier method it’s just nearly impossible you’ll get pregnant.
Anonymous
Post 04/13/2022 19:59     Subject: Serious question: premarital sex
How did you get over your fear of sex and trust BC? I otherwise planned on waiting until marriage. I come from a very religious family but there were several teen pregnancies.