I had a friend whose child came out as trans. I've had several, actually. But for one friend, the family sent out a photo card, like a birth announcement, with a pic of the kid and their new name. enclosed was a little note saying this may come as a surprise to you, but now Larla is Larlo, and is very happy and we are very happy for him. It came along with a holiday card, so two cards in the mailing.

I thought this was a good communication. both to update everyone, and the underscore it as a positive thing their family supports and is celebrating their child for.

Anonymous wrote:I hope they're happy. I'm free to lend an ear if you need someone to talk to.

This is a nice response.

Just call the child the new name and give your friend support. The child may eventually transition back.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her child is now living as a female and has a new name. I was shocked but tried to act like it was not a big deal. I was just wondering what the proper response is.

My response is to be polite, call the child by the new name and avoid using pronouns.

Meanwhile, in my mind, they will always be the gender that corresponds to their anatomy.

How weird you know the anatomy of the child..... If you are going to use biological terms like anatomy then use the biological term male or female- the sex of the individual is determined by their anatomy. M, F, Intersex. Gender has nothing to do with anatomy.

Anonymous wrote:The proper response is most definitely to post it on DCUM. Great friend.

This board is anonymous and there is no identifying information posted here.

Anonymous wrote:Her child is now living as a female and has a new name. I was shocked but tried to act like it was not a big deal. I was just wondering what the proper response is.

My response is to be polite, call the child by the new name and avoid using pronouns.

Meanwhile, in my mind, they will always be the gender that corresponds to their anatomy.

The proper response is most definitely to post it on DCUM. Great friend.

Just say "That's nice. Do y'all have weekend plans?" No pronouns needed.

I'd tell her, that I will remember to use her daughter's new name and pronoun. Then I'd ask if there is anyway I can support them beyond that.

You could read about it.

Here is one link: https://transequality.org/issues/resources/supporting-the-transgender-people-in-your-life-a-guide-to-being-a-good-ally

I hope they're happy. I'm free to lend an ear if you need someone to talk to.

Anonymous wrote:Use the requested name and pronouns. If you mess up (which is likely; you've presumably known this kid for a while), don't make a big deal out of it, just correct yourself quickly and/or apologize as necessary. That's pretty much it, unless there's some specific scenario you're concerned about?

+1. Just roll with it and try to adapt to the new name.

If your friend wants to talk, simply listen.

You can speculate or ruminate about it to your spouse, if you have one, but otherwise keep those thoughts to yourself. It is a big change so understandable that you would feel shocked.

Use the requested name and pronouns. If you mess up (which is likely; you've presumably known this kid for a while), don't make a big deal out of it, just correct yourself quickly and/or apologize as necessary. That's pretty much it, unless there's some specific scenario you're concerned about?

Make an effort to remember the name when you come across the kid.

And, if you know the parent well enough, ask how they feel about it. They might need an outlet.

Her child is now living as a female and has a new name. I was shocked but tried to act like it was not a big deal. I was just wondering what the proper response is.