Anonymous
04/05/2022 17:17
Subject: Re:What consequences do you use for a 6 year old?
Losing screens or story time works for us. However, if DD is really angry and defiant we may send her to her room. She's happy to go because her books etc are there, and I'm happy because she's out of my hair until she calms down.
Anonymous
04/05/2022 17:12
Subject: What consequences do you use for a 6 year old?
We often take their phone away for a day.
Anonymous
04/05/2022 17:10
Subject: What consequences do you use for a 6 year old?
Need to establish a level of respect where if you say something needs to be done then she does it. Consequences need to be immediate, 1 warning only maximum. If she’s not listening change it now because it’s not going to just get easier when she’s 16. You also need to catch her being good and focus on that rather than just focusing on everything she does wrong.
Anonymous
04/05/2022 17:03
Subject: What consequences do you use for a 6 year old?
Extra chores, staying inside, no screens, but it really doesn’t matter because if you’re not being consistent then nothing will work.
Anonymous
04/05/2022 16:46
Subject: Re:What consequences do you use for a 6 year old?
We do screentime punishments too, at age 5. But I worry that it gives too much power to the screen. Not sure what else we can do though… we don’t have dessert all that often (except fruit) and when we do it’s a family thing that we all enjoy together so I wouldn’t want to deprive her of that
Anonymous
04/05/2022 14:40
Subject: Re:What consequences do you use for a 6 year old?
At 6 we did loss of screen time for X amount of time, loss of dessert, or going to bed 30 mins earlier. I have never taken away my kids lovey, I think that’s mean personally. My DD is 9 now and I’ve still never taken away the lovey. How long does hair styling take that she has to sit for every morning?
Anonymous
04/05/2022 14:37
Subject: What consequences do you use for a 6 year old?
Anonymous wrote:She should have been taught better before age 6
Ah yes, cue the parent of completely obedient kindergartners.
Anonymous
04/05/2022 14:34
Subject: What consequences do you use for a 6 year old?
She should have been taught better before age 6
Anonymous
04/05/2022 13:58
Subject: What consequences do you use for a 6 year old?
Yeah, my 6 year old gets one warning, then loses whatever thing is distracting her. But remember, it really is distraction. They're still so young and it's absolutely developmentally normal. But we've had many conversations about it and she knows that I'll follow through if she makes the choice to continue to ignore me. When I warn her I make sure to remind her of the consequence - "Larla, I already asked you to stop play with those Legos and brush your teeth. Get up right now and do it, or I'm taking the Legos for a week." Then take them. No second chance, no "I need another second." Now means now, if you are already didn't listen the first time. And if they holler and whine and cry, too bad. Follow through with the consequence and make them swift and painful (reasonably so) for her.
Anonymous
04/05/2022 13:49
Subject: What consequences do you use for a 6 year old?
Anonymous wrote:I’d YouTube Dr ray Guarendi. It is all about gaining the respect as it’s much easier to deal with defiance at six than when your teens and you only have persuasion to get them to comply
Agree. Looks like he also talks about consequences and follow through, which is what I’m seeking ideas for. I don’t think putting 6 yo in the corner will work. She does sometimes get time outs in her room.
Anonymous
04/05/2022 13:47
Subject: What consequences do you use for a 6 year old?
Anonymous wrote:What is she doing when she's not sitting for her hairstyle? Take THAT away. Our kids know you can't play until you've done everything you NEED to do before school.
She’s running to play with her brother or jumping up to tell a story. Not one specific thing. Losing the hairstyle is actually a very effective consequence because it is important to her. It’s only been a few times this year she’s gone to school without one. But I can say if you get up again you’ll go to school without a style and she stays seated. I gave that as an example of the kind of consequence that is working for us.
I like the idea of taking away the thing she’s doing instead of listening. I think a lot of times she’s just dawdling, but I will pay more attention to that.
Anonymous
04/05/2022 13:32
Subject: What consequences do you use for a 6 year old?
What is she doing when she's not sitting for her hairstyle? Take THAT away. Our kids know you can't play until you've done everything you NEED to do before school.
Anonymous
04/05/2022 13:28
Subject: What consequences do you use for a 6 year old?
I’d YouTube Dr ray Guarendi. It is all about gaining the respect as it’s much easier to deal with defiance at six than when your teens and you only have persuasion to get them to comply
Anonymous
04/05/2022 13:26
Subject: What consequences do you use for a 6 year old?
Anonymous wrote:DD is a pretty good kid, but like with any kid, she occasionally talks back, refuses to cooperate, etc. The biggest issue is her ignoring directions and continuing to do whatever she likes saying “oh, I didn’t hear you” which is obviously untrue. So the actual thing she is doing changes, but the issue is not doing as she’s asked and not communicating about it (she will never say, I just want to finish this thing for example. She just does it).
DH thinks I don’t have enough consequences and I think his are ridiculous and over the top (taking away a prized and valued possession FOREVER, taking away her favorite lovey that’s she’s slept with since she was 2 for a week). He walked back the first example to 2 weeks and I asked him to walk back the second, so we’ll see. But he is now frustrated that we “never stick to anything.”
We agree that loss of screen time is a reasonable and effective consequence, typically imposed a day at a time (no tv tonight, no tv tomorrow). Not cooperating at bedtime means loss of bedtime book/podcast. If she doesn’t clean up toys she loses them for a few days. If she doesn’t sit for me to style her hair for school, she doesn’t get a hair style.
Are there any other go-to consequences that you use with an early elementary school kid? I’ve been reading it can be effective to have a paired consequence for each behavior. And right now other than what’s listed above, it’s all about screen time.
YouTube Dr Ray Guarendi
Anonymous
04/05/2022 12:47
Subject: What consequences do you use for a 6 year old?
DD is a pretty good kid, but like with any kid, she occasionally talks back, refuses to cooperate, etc. The biggest issue is her ignoring directions and continuing to do whatever she likes saying “oh, I didn’t hear you” which is obviously untrue. So the actual thing she is doing changes, but the issue is not doing as she’s asked and not communicating about it (she will never say, I just want to finish this thing for example. She just does it).
DH thinks I don’t have enough consequences and I think his are ridiculous and over the top (taking away a prized and valued possession FOREVER, taking away her favorite lovey that’s she’s slept with since she was 2 for a week). He walked back the first example to 2 weeks and I asked him to walk back the second, so we’ll see. But he is now frustrated that we “never stick to anything.”
We agree that loss of screen time is a reasonable and effective consequence, typically imposed a day at a time (no tv tonight, no tv tomorrow). Not cooperating at bedtime means loss of bedtime book/podcast. If she doesn’t clean up toys she loses them for a few days. If she doesn’t sit for me to style her hair for school, she doesn’t get a hair style.
Are there any other go-to consequences that you use with an early elementary school kid? I’ve been reading it can be effective to have a paired consequence for each behavior. And right now other than what’s listed above, it’s all about screen time.
DH thinks I don’t have enough consequences and I think his are ridiculous and over the top (taking away a prized and valued possession FOREVER, taking away her favorite lovey that’s she’s slept with since she was 2 for a week). He walked back the first example to 2 weeks and I asked him to walk back the second, so we’ll see. But he is now frustrated that we “never stick to anything.”
We agree that loss of screen time is a reasonable and effective consequence, typically imposed a day at a time (no tv tonight, no tv tomorrow). Not cooperating at bedtime means loss of bedtime book/podcast. If she doesn’t clean up toys she loses them for a few days. If she doesn’t sit for me to style her hair for school, she doesn’t get a hair style.
Are there any other go-to consequences that you use with an early elementary school kid? I’ve been reading it can be effective to have a paired consequence for each behavior. And right now other than what’s listed above, it’s all about screen time.